


Invisible String

by adiwriting



Series: Invisible String [4]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Deaf Character, M/M, Minor Max Evans/Liz Ortecho, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:00:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 64,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25827070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiwriting/pseuds/adiwriting
Summary: For ten long years, Alex and Michael have been fighting the evils of Project Shepard, desperate to start the forever their bond promises. After years of stolen moments and secret video calls back and forth, their future is within reach. They just have to get rid of Jesse Manes first.This story is part of the Invisible String verse, but the story should still make sense without reading the other stories first.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Invisible String [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853725
Comments: 264
Kudos: 167





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is currently rated mature... but could be bumped up to explicit later on, we'll see how smutty upcoming chapters get.

**_Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven._ **

**June 2018**

Michael’s head is throbbing. It feels like his brain is too big for his head and it’s pushing painfully against his skull. The sunlight coming in from the closed blinds mixed with the harsh fluorescent lighting doesn’t help. Nor does the cut on his eyebrow from where he’d slammed his head into a wall last night. Or, rather, he’d had his head slammed into the wall. 

Fucking homophobic Hank and his annoyingly racist bff Wyatt had gotten on his last nerve. It wasn’t that he was saying something to Michael. Or even about Michael. But it didn’t matter. Michael doesn’t have to be able to hear to read body language. He had read the word ‘gay’ on Hank’s lips and seen the way the woman they were with flinched. It rubbed at wounds that were still raw to even after all of these years. 

So yeah, Michael hit him. But every person in that bar knew he had it coming. Maria hadn’t needed to call the cops. He could handle a fist fight with the town drunks. 

He looks over at the clock on the wall. It’s past eight, which means he really should have been let out by now. This isn’t Michael’s first time being arrested. They hold him in the drunk tank overnight while he gets sober. The shift changes. And inevitably, Max saunters in and lets him out. Except it’s after eight and Max hasn’t come through the doors yet. 

Michael rolls his eyes. He’s over this. He just wants to be home already, nursing his hangover with a bottle of acetone. He eyes the cameras in the room and figures now is as good a time as any to practice his powers. After all, Roswell’s finest are the ones who decided to leave him unattended. What else is he supposed to do with such a golden opportunity but stretch his mind and see what he’s capable of? 

He blinks his eyes, pushing out a pulse that has the red recording lights of both cameras switching off. Perfect. Next, he focuses on the desk where he knows they keep the key to the cell. He concentrates harder, pushing through the pain in his head from the hangover and raises his chin as the keys move off of the desk. He feels Max’s energy before he sees him and he smiles to himself. He’s been itching with pent up anger ever since the cops pulled him off of Hank. And if he can’t punch Hank, then at least he can argue with Max. 

The keys are snatched out of the air. 

_There are cameras in here, Michael_ , Max says, moving around the desk. 

_Mysteriously they all shut down_ , he says, unaffected by the judgement he can feel emitting from Max. They share a connection, he’s known Max’s discontent for how he has chosen to handle his separation from Alex for years. It doesn’t affect Michael anymore. 

_Let me guess, another drunken fight at the Wild Pony? Sober up a little bit,_ Max says and Michael groans. _We’ll get you released the right way._

Anytime Max acts holier-than-thou with him, Michael has to roll his eyes. It’s like Max has no memory of exactly which one of them was the mess when they were kids climbing out of that pod. Or who it’s been all of these years protecting them. Max wears a badge and assumes it makes him the hero, but Michael’s the one sacrificing it all for them. 

Since Max isn’t going to let him out, Michael settles on his second favorite hobby after drinking — giving Max endless shit. 

_But I was looking forward to the self-righteous lecture_ , he says with a smirk. _Why you gotta cause such a scene, Michael? Why don’t you drive the speed limit, Michael? What would Alex think of your behavior, Michael? Why don’t you spend your nights like I do, crying and masturbating to moralistic literature, Michael?_

The look on Max’s face as he shakes his head would tell anyone that he’s amused, but Michael sees past it all. He can feel the anger underneath, mixed with the genuine worry. He’s saved from another one of Max’s poetic speeches about going to get his man by the door opening. Michael hadn’t even felt Isobel come in. Which tracks. He’s spent the last ten years pushing her out of his own brain for fear of what she might see and feel. It only makes sense that she’s started closing her own connection off to him. 

_Hey brother,_ Isobel says directly to Max, looking absolutely livid. It has Michael sitting up in his seat. _Had to untie some loose ends at home, but I’m here for your explanation._

Michael stands up and moves closer to his siblings, trying to read what’s going on. 

_You have thirty seconds or I will melt your brain,_ she says. 

_What did you do?_ He asks, already knowing it must be bad if Isobel is this worked up. She never gets mad at Max. And the guilt radiating off of Max is so strong that Michael nearly has to sit down. As it is, he has to reach out and hold onto the bars of the cell until he can push back against the feelings enough for them not to paralyze him. 

_He saved someone last night,_ Isobel says, crossing her arms. _With his magical healing power._

It feels like all of the air gets sucked out of the room. _What?_ he says, hoping it’s not true. Waiting for the joke. But Isobel isn’t laughing and Max’s guilt makes it pretty clear that Isobel is telling the truth. 

Michael is livid. He’s literally spent the last ten years making sure that nobody looks at them twice. Alex went and joined the fucking military, getting himself shipped off to war and losing a leg in the process, all so that they could be kept safe from Jesse Manes and Project Shepard. Max _knows_ all of this. Michael doesn’t understand how he could go and do something so stupid and reckless. In a single night, in one split moment, he’s put them all at risk. 

_It was Liz_ , Max says, looking at Michael with pleading eyes. Michael feels the wave of Max’s agony pushed through the connection. 

Fuck. Michael gets it. He understands the bond better than anyone. But seriously. Fuck. This isn’t good. 

_What happened?_ he asks, trying to take charge. He needs all of the details. He needs to know exactly how bad this is about to be for them so that he can try and contain it. 

_We were at the Crashdown together and then somebody shot out the windows. I tried to get her out of the way, but I wasn’t fast enough._

Michael feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest and it takes him a moment to realize that the pain he’s feeling isn’t his own but Max’s. Michael has been there. When he’d gotten word about the IED last year and Alex’s condition. Michael doesn't have very many positive feelings these days, but he gathers up as much of them as he can and tries to push them through their connection.

 _I couldn’t just let her die_ , Max says. 

Michael gets it. He doesn’t like it in the slightest, but he gets it. He’s risked everything for Alex before. It’s part of the bond. 

Fuck. 

_Twenty years of keeping this secret and now you up and resurrect someone? Rosa Ortecho’s sister._ Isobel is fuming. 

This is bad. Really bad. Isobel doesn’t get it. How could she? They’ve been keeping so much from her ever since she killed those three girls and Max and Michael had been forced to cover it up. Ever since Jesse Manes had started trying to hunt them down. 

Michael paces his cell, trying to think, but it’s difficult enough with his own raging emotions, let alone Max’s. 

_You weren’t there, okay?_ Max says, and Isobel snorts. 

She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t have a bond. Not even with Noah. But Michael does. Of course Max had risked everything to save Liz. It’s the very reason Michael had told Isobel to get Liz out of town after Rosa died. He’d felt something like this coming on and they couldn’t afford to end up on Jesse Manes’ radar. Ten years later, and they are still no closer to dismantling Project Shepard as they’d been when Alex first found out about the secret organization. 

_You didn’t see it,_ Max continues. _I couldn’t just let her die._

Michael snaps. He uses his powers to open the cell door and storms out. 

_So you do CPR. You pray. You don’t decide to be a hero_ , he tries to rationalize. God, there had to have been a better way than using his powers, hadn’t there?

The connection between them slams shut and Michael knows that he’s hit a nerve with Max. 

_How would you know? You’ve never done anything for anybody._

_Stop it, Max,_ Isobel says. _Both of you._

 _You let your soulmate go to war and he nearly got killed,_ Max says and it’s a solid punch in the gut for Michael. 

Fuck Max. Fuck all that Michael has done for him. He doesn’t deserve it. 

_That you would do this to Isobel is ridiculous,_ he says. 

Michael knows that his relationship with Max has been difficult ever since Liz left town and Max had lost that connection. It’s been virtually non-existent after Alex’s attack when Michael himself had gone off the deep end. But regardless of the state of their own relationship, they always shared the need to protect Isobel. 

_Everything I’ve ever done has been to protect Isobel and you,_ Max yells. 

Michael snorts. It’s a joke. Clearly. Michael is the one that’s always made the sacrifices around here, while the perfect Evans twins get to have their white picket fences and their happy little lives. 

_Everything you’ve ever done has been to protect yourself,_ he says, shoving Max into the desk. Both Max and the desk go flying across the room. Michael doesn’t bother waiting around to see if Max is okay. He has Isobel for that. Michael has to figure out how to contain the damage. Alex is going to be livid. 

****

**May 2008**

Alex doesn’t feel the hand on his wrist, what he feels is a static shock so strong that it goes straight to his heart. The air around them electrifies. Surrounding them both like a cocoon. A wave of energy moves through him. It’s warm and it settles deep. 

He closes his eyes and lets out an embarrassing moan, grateful that the boy can’t hear it. He can’t explain it, but it’s like a string has been pulling at him, leading him right here to this moment. He keeps his eyes closed as he feels every broken piece of his soul start to stitch back together. It feels like life and love. So much love. He feels safe and whole. Everything is right in the world. 

And when he sucks in a breath, he realizes for the first time in a very long time, as long as he can remember, he can finally breathe. 

He opens his eyes and their eyes meet. And though they are both clearly confused, he can see that something equally profound has clicked for both of them. And it’s like Alex is seeing the world through a different set of eyes. 

Alex pulls his wrist out of the boy’s hand gently and a momentary panic crosses the boy’s face before Alex entwines their fingers. A warm feeling of home radiates and Alex feels it all the way down to his toes. And that’s when it clicks. This is the feeling he’s been chasing. 

HI, the boy signs shyly with his free hand. 

Alex can’t help the happy laugh that escapes him. 

HI, he signs. When he drops his hand, he rests it against the boys chest, this time jerking only a little at the static shock it causes. The boy squeezes his hand and lifts his other one to grab at the hand against his chest, holding him in place. As if Alex would ever dream of letting go. 

He watches several emotions dance across this beautiful boy’s face — fear, wonder, confusion, love, nervousness. Every one of those feelings is as gorgeous as the last and Alex can feel himself falling fast. He’s never been one to believe in love at first sight, but he also never imagined it feels like this. Because it doesn’t feel like he’s just meeting this boy for the first time, it feels like he’s known him for years. The energy surrounding them is familiar and comforting. 

Why doesn’t anyone ever describe love like this? 

There’s a million questions he wants to ask. He wants to know everything about the boy in front of him, but that would involve having to let go in order to sign, and he’s not ready for that yet. So instead, he leans forward and rests his forehead against the other boy’s. He can feel the nervous energy coming off of the boy in waves, but he can also feel the way that the boy is breathing in deep, like he too is relearning how to breathe. 

Alex can’t say how long they stand there. Time feels irrelevant as he feels himself being remade. But eventually the boy steps away from him. He’s about to protest, when the boy nods to his car and asks, DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A DRIVE? 

There was a version of Alex who had heard the final bell today and wanted nothing more than to get home as soon as possible so he could be alone. That Alex no longer exists. All he wants is to be close to this boy for as long as possible. Forever would be a good place to start. 

Rather than say any of that, which would most certainly scare the boy away, he goes for a simple, YES. 

They both climb into the boy’s truck and Alex relaxes into the seat as the boy starts the car and they drive off. They sit in comfortable silence as the truck turns off the main road and they head away from town. Michael is the first one to talk, which is when Alex learns that one-handed signing is a skill he possesses that Alex can’t even fathom. 

WHAT’S YOUR NAME? he asks. It elicits another happy giggle from Alex. Because it’s absolutely ridiculous that they can have this level of comfort with each other and they haven’t even gotten around to exchanging names. Alex has held his hand, felt his heartbeat, and rested his forehead against this boy’s and he doesn’t even know his name. 

ALEX, he signs. YOU? 

MICHAEL. 

Michael. Alex repeats the name over and over in his head as a rush of warm runs through his veins. It’s perfect. 

They drive out into the middle of the desert before Michael stops the car and they both get out. Alex isn’t sure what it is about this place that caused Michael to stop here, except for the fact that they are alone out here. If this were a horror movie, this would be the time where Alex gets murdered or turned into some wax figurine or something equally as creepy. But Michael isn’t anything to be afraid of. Instead, the vast openness of the desert provides a welcome safety. Nobody is around to bother them. They can just be. 

Just be. 

When was the last time Alex was afforded that luxury? When was the last time he was able to live a moment of his life without fear? 

The two of them spend hours out there, talking about any and everything. Alex teaches Michael how to play the guitar and Michael convinces Alex to play him some of the songs he’s written. Michael, in turn, helps Alex translate his lyrics into proper ASL and Alex finds himself enraptured at the way Michael’s face emotes so much emotion as he’s singing the words. Alex’s words. 

When the sun sets, they lay in the bed of the truck together, watching the stars. It’s new and exciting, but also familiar. Like Alex has known Michael for years and he’s simply coming home. The two of them cuddle close as they exchange secrets they’ve never dared tell another. The air around them crackles and pops occasionally, but it has nothing on the way Michael’s eyes practically sparkle. 

Alex is in love. Head over heels, in love. And so it’s easy to ignore his phone vibrating in his pocket all night. It’s easy to forget about how terrifying his dad is. He’s with Michael and that’s all that matters. 

By the time sunrise rolls around, Alex is sitting between Michael’s legs, head back against his shoulders, without a care in the world. So when Michael puts his hand under Alex’s chin and turns his head to look at him properly and give him a kiss, Alex doesn’t protest. He leans into the touch and opens his lips to allow Michael’s tongue access. It feels like an electrical surge runs through his body. Warmth pools in his belly and his heart swells with pure love. 

The kiss doesn’t last long, and that’s alright. They have all the time in the world together.

****

**June 2018**

Michael is an utter mess when he leaves the police station. Which isn’t exactly anything new these days, if he’s being honest. There’s a reason why he drowns himself in bourbon and acetone. Being without Alex is excruciating, and it’s only gotten worse since his injury. There is a literal void in him that’s only ever made better during the moments that he’s able to sneak in time with Alex. They are few and far between. 

Still, they’d both agreed to this because the alternative is something neither of them could live through. Michael had that confirmed for him during that month after Alex’s platoon got attacked and he couldn’t get a hold of him. For the last ten years, they’ve spent a large portion of time on opposite ends of the globe. They’d sacrificed their day to day happiness for their long term happiness. It had been the right thing to do. 

And now… Now everything that they’ve been working towards for years is about to go up in flames. 

Michael spends his walk to the Wild Pony trying to calm himself down. If he picks up the phone to message Alex right now, Alex will take one look at his face and lose it. And if Michael texts him instead, Alex will burn this world to the ground to get to him. The last time Michael had texted him was when he’d broken his arm and Max had been on a hunting trip. The last time Alex had texted Michael was to tell him about his leg. 

They don’t text each other unless they don’t want the other to see something. Typically, they communicate through SnapChat messages or over video chats — both of which allow them to communicate using sign language. Michael’s command of English has improved greatly over the years, especially after UNM, but he still prefers ASL and seeing Alex’s face to written English and Alex feels the same. 

He walks into the Pony and barely gets two steps before his keys are thrown at him by Maria DeLuca. He catches them easily, shoving them in his pocket before waving at her. 

She’s smiling, but signs NO when he starts to walk closer. She doesn’t know a lot of ASL, but that is one sign she’s perfected over the last year, ever since he’d upgraded from the occasional visit to regular. 

PLEASE, he signs, giving her a charming smile. He hadn’t been planning on drinking. He’d just wanted to get his keys and leave, but he’s not gonna lie, a bourbon would do wonders to calm his nerves. And nothing quite cures a hangover like the hair of the dog that bit you. 

Maria walks over to the door and points to the hours of operation stating that they don’t open for another six hours. He gives her one last sad look, just to mess with her, but she shakes her head, laughingly pointing at the door. He can see her mouth, “go!” 

It’s really for the best. He’s going to have to call Alex and he probably should do that sober. Alex worries enough about him as it is. 

He walks out of the door and gets into his truck. He still feels like a live wire. He really needs to focus on calming himself down. He pulls out his phone, the special one that Alex gave him four years ago. The one that has military grade encryption software that allows them to communicate with each other freely without having to stress over Jesse Manes gaining access to their personal information. It’s the phone he only uses for Alex. He has a phone for the rest of the world. His public face. One that Jesse Manes can hack to his heart’s content should he ever turn his suspicions on him. The most Jesse would get out of him is that his sister regularly sends him fashion advice he ignores and that he plays an embarrassing amount of Candy Crush for a man who’s nearly thirty. 

He opens up the music app and scrolls through until he gets to the songs that Alex recorded for him. He presses play and holds the phone against his heart so that he can feel the vibrations. It’s not Alex. It isn’t anywhere near the same as having Alex here with him. But it’s something. It’s a reminder that he is loved completely and that he is never truly alone. 

Michael doesn’t think as he drives. It’s better that he pushes all thoughts from his mind so that he doesn’t spiral. Instead, he focuses on the vibrations against his chest. He focuses his mind on Alex. 

Michael ends up driving to Foster Ranch, which makes sense. It’s where he’s been parking his airstream for the last few years. But as he drives up, he notices there’s an unusual crowd around his trailer. And several of the men are in uniform. He drops the phone and his panic instantly returns. 

Have they already found him? Jesus. It can’t have been more than twelve hours since Max healed Liz. Has the government already connected the incident to him? Is this the moment when everything falls apart? The moment he’s been terrified of since he understood that he was an alien? And if so, does this mean they’ve already got Max and Isobel? 

A knot forms in his stomach. He should have already called Alex. If they take him away right now, Alex won’t even know what happened. How long will it take before Alex knows he’s missing? How long will it take to find him? Will it be too late by then? 

He’s about to pull the phone back up to send an SOS text to Alex when Mr. Ryerson bangs on the hood of the truck, shaking the whole thing. Michael looks up and he waves at Michael to come out. Michael shoots off a fast ‘Foster Ranch. Military. SOS.’ to Alex before stepping out of the truck. 

Mr. Ryerson already has the small notebook and pen out that he uses to communicate with him and is writing something down. When he finishes, he hands it to Michael. 

‘I came knocking, you were gone,’ it reads. Michael throws his hands out, gesturing to the men and looking at the man like he’s crazy. So he just called the fucking military on him? What the hell? 

Mr. Ryerson takes back the pen and paper and writes some more. 

‘The air force is acquiring the land. You’ve got to move your rig. I’ll miss you.’

Michael reads the message several times, allowing it to sink in. On one hand, he’s relieved. The military isn’t here because of what Max did. On the other hand, this isn’t any better. Foster Ranch is Michael’s home. Or, it’s the closest thing he has to a home. This is where his ship crashed all of those years ago. This is the desert that he and Alex have spent years driving out to, getting away from the world, sleeping under the stars. And now what? The military is going to take it? Haven’t they stolen enough from him? 

He’s pissed. He tears out the paper, crumbling it up into a ball in anger. He’s about to hand the notebook back to Mr. Ryerson, but he’s already walked off without Michael noticing. If he needed any further sign that this is real, that was it. 

Unemployed, homeless, and potentially on Project Shepard’s radar in a meaningful way. Fantastic. Michael should have fought harder for Maria to pour him that drink. He’s not going to survive the rest of this day sober. 

He glances over at his airstream and is livid to find some military ass trying to look through the window. He storms over, in a rage, about to go off about private property. As soon as his hand lands on the man’s arm though, he feels an electric shock that goes straight to his heart. 

He nearly collapses with joy and relief, but manages to hold himself together for appearances sake. He’s not supposed to know who Alex is beyond some kid he went to high school with who he never shared a class with. 

Alex’s face shows equal relief and joy for the slightest second before it’s buried under a mask of indifference. 

Michael raises his hands to say something before stopping. He can’t exactly sign anything to Alex. If people see that Alex knows sign language, they are going to wonder _why_ he knows sign language. And Michael is the only Deaf person in town. 

Alex glances over his shoulder and Michael sees Jesse Manes standing by a humvee. He holds his breath, terrified to make a single move for fear that Jesse will see the truth. It’s been ten years since Jesse learned that his son had a bond with an alien. So far, Michael has managed to stay off his radar, but not without a lot of very careful planning by Alex and Michael. 

Alex’s hand twitches at it’s side and when Michael looks down, he can see Alex subtly making the sign for six. Michael raises his eyebrows at him, needing to know if he’s sure he can make it and Alex blinks twice to signal a yes. 

Michael lets out a heavy breath and allows himself to lean into the energy currently moving through him, filling up all of the dark places and bringing him back to life in a way only Alex ever can. 

Things may not be okay yet, but with Alex home, they will be. 


	2. Chapter 2

**June 2018**

Michael sits on the tailgate of his truck out in the middle of the desert. The USAF might be acquiring the land soon, but they haven’t done so yet, and he’s determined to spend at least one more night under the stars with the love of his life before they have to give up their special spot. The music is pumping loud enough to shake the entire truck and send pleasant vibrations through his entire body. He stares up at the sky, eager for nightfall so Alex and him can watch the stars. 

It’s been a shitty day and he’s been on edge for the entirety of it, looking over his shoulder and waiting for somebody to come drag him and his siblings away. This situation with Liz is bad. Add to that the fact that the Air Force bought Foster Ranch, striping him both of his home and his job? There’s really only one saving grace to this day, and that’s the fact that Alex is home. He doesn’t even know for how long, but it doesn’t matter. However long Michael can get him for, he’ll take. 

His boyfriend should be here shortly. He’s never late. Even before the military, he was always incredibly punctual. Michael isn’t sure what that must be like. He’s only ever on time for one person and one person alone — Alex. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees an unfamiliar car coming into view and he’s momentarily worried before he feels his energy siphoning and breathes a sigh of relief. His body only ever reacts like this to Alex. A part of the bond that he’s come to love. The way they are always connected by an invisible string. The way that his body so easily lends its energy to Alex, making sure that there isn’t a single part of Alex that doesn’t feel loved and cherished. He hasn’t been able to see Alex in person since the attack and all Michael’s wanted to do is wrap him up in their little energy cocoon and make sure that he’s truly alright. 

Michael stands up and starts walking towards the car before it even stops. He notices that it’s a rental and it’s a harsh reminder of how temporary their moments together always are. He pushes that thought down though, determined to enjoy their time together, however long it may be for. Once he’s close enough to see Alex through the windshield, he smiles at him bright. Michael is at the door of the car pulling it open as Alex is still putting it in park and shutting off the engine. The only thing that stops Michael from literally pulling Alex out of the car himself is that he’s still unsure of how steady Alex is on his feet these days. 

Alex reaches into the back seat and pulls out his crutch, and uses it to help steady him as he gets out of the car. The moment Michael is positive that Alex is good on his feet, he pins him to the car, lips devouring. 

His lips are soft and warm. They taste of honey and coffee and that strawberry chapstick that he still uses because it reminds him of Rosa. They taste like home. When Alex makes a shocked gasp at how forward Michael is being, he takes advantage of that moment and pushes his tongue into Alex’s mouth, seeking more. Always needing more. 

Alex is shocked enough to let Michael take charge for a solid moment, then he comes back to himself. He lets out a moan that vibrates and Michael feels it all the way down to his toes. Alex flips them around until Michael is the one pinned to the car. His hands settle on Alex’s hips, hooking into the belt loops. Alex smirks at him as he pushes their hips together, both of them already starting to get hard. 

Whatever needy sound Michael makes, it’s clearly enough for Alex to stop torturing him. He leans in and attacks his lips with an intensity only Alex is capable of. The kiss is demanding and all consuming, just like Michael likes it. A knee moves between Michael’s thighs until he spreads his legs wider, allowing Alex easy access. Michael moans, rutting against Alex’s thigh for some kind of relief. 

His hands run up and down Alex’s back, making their way under his shirt before pushing down to grab at his ass. A hand moves to Michael’s chin, turning his face away so that Alex can lick a path up his neck before sucking at his pulse point. It’s heaven and it’s utter hell. He just wants to be naked and have Alex inside of him already. 

With one hand still on Michael’s chin holding him in place, the other hand goes to his belt buckle and quickly undoes it, tossing it to the side carelessly. This is how Michael always loses items of clothing. When Alex is hungry like this, he is singularly focused on his task and doesn’t bother with the details like where he’d thrown Michael’s clothes. 

As much as he loves where this is going, he pushes Alex back just enough to fit his hands between them and signs, I’D REALLY RATHER NOT HAVE SAND UP MY ASS AGAIN. 

Last time they had sex in the desert without at least a blanket, Michael had gotten sand places he really can’t talk about in polite company. And that shit burns. He’d complained to Alex about it for a solid week before the irritation finally subsided. 

Alex laughs and it lights up his entire face. Michael loves it. He reaches out to put his hand against his chest so he can feel it properly. Once Alex calms down, he reaches up and holds Michael’s hand against his heart and signs, HEY, with the softest smile. 

Michael leans forward to rest his forehead against Alex’s. He takes a deep breath in, feeling it fill his lungs as everything slots into place. There’s always a moment when he’s back with Alex that his body learns to breathe again. He can feel Alex’s chest rise and fall slowly, doing the same, until they are both breathing in sync with one another. 

Michael gives him a gentle kiss before pulling back far enough to sign, HEY. 

They smile at each other like two idiots before Alex signs, I MISSED YOU. 

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA, Michael signs back. 

Alex’s eyes roam him over, looking for the little changes that happen naturally when you are away from somebody for over a year. Michael does the same, memorizing each subtle change as they come. There’s a scar on his forehead that’s new. He’d seen it over the screen, but it hadn’t looked nearly as pronounced. His hair is a bit longer and messier, potentially just long enough to be out of regulation. Michael reaches up to run his hands through it and Alex leans into the touch. 

His hands then travel to his shoulders, squeezing the muscles there. Alex always comes back from his deployments with new muscle. Apparently the only way to pass the time in the middle of a war zone is to lift weights. Michael isn’t complaining, he always reaps the benefits of Alex after he’s gone through some low-carb Crossfit phase. He can’t wait to lick his way up Alex’s spine and kiss each of his shoulder blades, feeling the strong muscles tense at his touch. 

His eyes trail down Alex’s body, landing on his leg, but he doesn’t stay there for long. He knows that Alex is insecure about it no matter how many times Michael has assured him that he’s still beautiful. SnapChat messages and video chat declarations haven’t been enough to convince him, but Michael is pretty sure all it will take for Alex to drop his insecurity is a single night of worshiping Alex with his tongue. 

His eyes go back to Alex’s face and they both stare into each other’s eyes, reminding themselves that they are here. They are healthy, alive, and here. It’s one thing to see each other daily through a screen, it’s another thing entirely to be able to be with each other in person. To feel the energy surrounded them. To feel it course through their veins and know that all is right in the world again. 

DON’T EVER LEAVE AGAIN, Michael signs and a slow smile starts to grow on Alex’s face. It’s his ‘good news’ face. Hope grows in Michael’s belly, already guessing at the possibilities. Maybe this time around, they’ll get a whole month together. 

I GOT MY NEW ORDERS, Alex signs. 

Michael isn’t sure he sees him correctly. He’s not used to seeing those words and getting any kind of good news. It’s usually followed up deployments in Iraq or Afghanistan or some other war torn, terrorist filled country. But Alex is smiling at him and Michael doesn’t know what to think. 

I DON’T HAVE TO GO. THEY WANT ME TO GO THROUGH OTS AND ARE WILLING TO DO IT HERE, he signs. THEY SAY THEY’LL STATION ME HERE FOR AT LEAST FOUR YEARS. 

Four years. It’s like a punch to the stomach. 

YOUR ENLISTMENT IS UP _THIS_ YEAR. NEXT MONTH, Michael signs. They’d had a long conversation last time Alex reupped his contract. They’d made a commitment. This was supposed to be the last time. Come hell or high water, he was going to be done. They had 50 days left with the Air Force and then they were done. 

I’D HAVE TO RE-ENLIST, he signs, watching him carefully. 

Michael shakes his head. This isn’t what they agreed on. 

IT’S FOUR YEARS, MICHAEL, Alex signs. IT MEANS I GET TO STAY, NOW. THAT WE CAN START OUR LIFE TOGETHER, NOW. 

AND WHAT GUARANTEE DO WE HAVE THAT YOU’D BE STATIONED HERE FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS? 

Michael trusts the Air Force about as far as he can throw them — without his powers. The USAF is notorious for denying leave time at the drop of the hat, issuing deployment orders with hardly any warning, and, oh yeah… sending his boyfriend into an active war zone to get his leg blown off. And that’s not even touching the fact that the Air Force is secretly funding an operation whose entire mission is to perform genocide on Michael’s people. 

THEY ARE BUILDING A NEW BASE HERE IN ROSWELL, he signs. THEY NEED PEOPLE TO OVERSEE THE PROJECT AND ARE TRYING TO PERSUADE PEOPLE TO STAY ON LONG TERM WITH PROMISES OF BEING ABLE TO SETTLE DOWN. 

Michael eyes him carefully, shocked. YOU WANT THIS. YOU WANT TO RE-ENLIST. 

Alex’s shoulders slump and he throws his arms out as if to say, ‘what do you want me to say?’ 

Michael pushes at Alex’s hips until he takes several steps back and Michael moves out of his embrace. He needs some air. It’s been an awful day and he’s been on edge for most of it. This is not what he needs right now. He walks back towards his truck, his hands in fists as he tries to reign in the powers inside of him threatening to go heywire at the news. Alex knows him well enough not to follow after him right away. 

Michael paces back and forth for a solid minute, breathing in deep as he tries to make sense of what Alex is telling him. It can’t just be about the time. He has fifty days left on his contract, not even two months. And the military isn’t going to clear him for another deployment. No matter where they station him, he’ll be safe. He’ll be stuck behind a desk pushing paper for a few weeks then he’ll be home. 

WHY? He turns back to ask. 

Alex visibly sighs. He walks over to the truck and sits down on the tailgate, patting the spot next to him until Michael comes and joins him. 

I THINK THIS NEW BASE IS GOING TO HOLD ANSWERS FOR US, Alex explains. 

It's about Project Shepard. They are out of time. 50 days isn't enough time to come up with a solid plan to bring them down. Not from the inside at least. Michael knows that, but he'd hoped that Alex thought they could still bring them down from the outside. That they could be free of the Air Force. 

THEY ARE GOING TO SEND ME TO GEORGIA TOMORROW IF I DON'T AGREE, he signs. 

Michael sighs deep. Georgia. He hates fucking Georgia. They both do. The humidity is murder and the base commander is good friends with Jesse Manes. Alex is miserable every time he gets sent there. He claims it's worse than even Iraq or Afghanistan. 

SO THIS ISN’T A BRIBE SO MUCH AS IT’S BLACKMAIL, Michael says, growing angry. He’s sure this is Jesse’s doing somehow. RE-ENLIST OR WE’LL MAKE YOUR LAST SEVEN WEEKS MISERABLE. 

IT COULD BE WORSE. 

Michael glares at him. How could it be worse? They are ten years into this damn thing and still the military controls their life. 

THEY WANT TO PROMOTE ME TO OFFICER, he signs. I WOULD OUTRANK MY FATHER. AND WE’LL BE TOGETHER. I’LL GET TO COME HOME TO YOU EACH DAY. THE MOST ACTION I’LL SEE IS AN OFFICE WITH A COMPUTER. IT WON’T BE LIKE BEFORE. YOU WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME WHILE I’M DEPLOYED. THIS IS A GOOD DEAL. 

Michael hates to admit it’s the best deal they can probably hope for. The reality is that there are a lot of answers they still need if they are ever going to honestly end this thing. Alex has been working for this promotion for a long time, waiting for the day he ranks higher than his dad and has some real weight to throw around. 

What Michael doesn’t know is why they are doing it now? Why have they waited until now to offer Alex this position? What do they get out of Alex working in Roswell for the next four years? 

And the answer is fairly easy to guess. 

YOUR DAD WANTS TO TRY AND USE YOU TO FIND ME AGAIN, he signs. 

I WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN, Alex promises. I’VE KEPT YOU SAFE THIS LONG. 

He trusts Alex. He knows that he means that with every fiber of his being. But the fact is, he’s making promises with only half of the pieces. Michael hasn’t told them that the threat of capture has gone up significantly. 

I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, he signs. 

Alex tilts his head in concern. OKAY… 

LIZ IS BACK IN TOWN. 

Alex’s eyebrows furrow. HAS SHE SEEN MAX? he asks. 

Michael gives him a look. Would he really be making a big deal about this if she hadn’t? Alex sits up straighter, his eyes going wide. 

HAS SHE TOUCHED MAX? Alex asks. 

The bond is powerful. They know that Liz has experienced the symptoms of it before. But so far, Max and Liz have never consummated the bond. They’ve never touched long enough for the bond to solidify. Max has never brought Liz to the pods… 

So far, it’s just been static shocks and deep yearning. They’ve gotten away with her not looking too closely at Max or questioning their connection. But she’s a scientist. A biologist. If she gets too close to them, she’s going to question and she’s going to _know_. Especially since a bullet went into her body and she was magically healed. 

HEY, Alex kicks his foot to get his attention. TELL ME WHAT WE NEED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT AND WE CAN COME UP WITH A PLAN OF ACTION TOGETHER, LIKE WE ALWAYS DO. 

Alex is right. He just needs to tell him and they can figure it out. 

LIZ GOT SHOT. 

A look of grave concern crosses Alex’s face and Michael is instantly reminded that though Alex had been on board with the plan to have Isobel send Liz away from Roswell, she’s still one of his best friends. 

IS SHE OKAY? OH GOD, IS SHE HURT? DID SHE DIE? IS MAX OKAY? WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THIS? Alex signs grow sloppy as he gets more panicked. 

SHE’S FINE, he signs quickly so that Alex will stop worrying. MAX HEALED HER. SHE’S FINE. 

Alex takes a deep breath, nodding in relief. Then a moment later, it sinks in. He looks up at Michael, stressed. FUCK. 

YEAH, he signs. That’s exactly what he’d said. 

HAS MAX TALKED TO HER? DOES SHE KNOW THE TRUTH? HAS HE TOLD HER THAT SHE CAN’T TELL ANYONE? DID THEY BOND? 

Michael looks down at the ground, blushing. He hadn’t actually stopped to ask Max any of those questions. He’d been too panicked. Too pissed off. 

Alex rubs his face before standing up. I’LL TALK TO HER. 

Michael reaches for his wrist to stop him. YOU’RE LEAVING NOW? 

He gives him a look that Michael has grown all too accustomed too, sadly. The one that says he’d like nothing more than to stay, but that he has to go. 

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RISK LIZ TALKING TO SOMEBODY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED JUST SO WE CAN SPEND A NIGHT TOGETHER? 

Michael selfishly wants to say yes. Especially if Alex is getting sent of to Georgia tomorrow, where he can't risk a visit. It's been a year. An incredibly long year. And this is going to be the last night they can be together at Foster Ranch without having to worry about trespassing on military property. Can't they just be selfish for once in their life? 

HEY, ENDGAME, RIGHT? 

Michael reluctantly nods. Right. They are doing this for the endgame. They regularly sacrifice their daily happiness so that one day, in the future, they can live in a world without Jesse Manes and Project Shepard hanging over them. The thing is though, when Michael agreed to this plan, he didn’t think it was going to take ten years. And the distance has worn on both of them. It’s why he’s so confused why Alex is even considering another four years of this bullshit. 

Alex leans in and gives him a kiss before pulling his keys out of his pocket. 

Michael wants to protest, but the reality is that Michael can’t let this situation with Liz get out of control. It’s easy enough to agree to take the risk with his own life. But anytime he pictures Alex locked in that room, terrified and alone, he knows that no matter what he’s willing to risk himself, he’ll never risk Alex. And Alex feels the exact same way about Michael. 

WILL YOU SLEEP AT THE CABIN TONIGHT? Alex asks, hopeful. 

Alex has been begging Michael to move into Valenti’s old hunting cabin ever since Jim Valenti died and left it to him, but Michael refuses. He doesn’t like being at the cabin alone. It creeps him out for some reason. But Michael is happy to go anywhere that Alex will be. 

Michael nods. OF COURSE. 

****

**May 2008**

When Alex shows up to school, it’s already third period and his face is starting to swell. He almost didn’t bother coming at all. He doesn’t want to deal with the questions he’s sure to get about why he’s late or what happened to his face. But being home isn’t an option at the moment and Alex honestly just wants to feel safe. And Michael is where Alex feels safe. 

Alex assumes that he’ll have to wait until lunch to find Michael. He’ll steal Michael away and convince him to ditch class. It’s senior year and they are all to the point where grades have stopped mattering. He’s positive it won’t be that hard to convince him to sneak away. Satisfied with his plan, he heads down the hall, trying to hide his face from his classmates. Without realizing it, his feet take him in the direction of Michael’s classroom even though he’s supposed to be headed to AP calc in the opposite direction. 

He spots Michael coming out of the bathroom and the moment their eyes meet, Michael’s grow worried. The look has Alex choking back tears. He refuses to cry in front of his classmates, but he also can’t handle the way Michael is looking at him like he actually gives a fuck about him. It’s too much. 

Michael nods towards one of the closets next to his class and slips inside. Alex glances around to see that nobody is paying any attention before he follows after. 

The moment he steps into the closet, a warmth envelops him and heats his veins as he feels his broken soul stitching back together. Michael has a hand on his chin and is turning him so that he can inspect his face under the poor closet lighting. 

WHAT HAPPENED? Michael asks. Alex crosses his arms and doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to. YOUR DAD DID THIS? 

Alex just shrugs, holding back tears. It’s not that he’s not used to the violence by now. He is. But it’s been a long time since anyone cared. Ever since Greg left, his bruises have been his secret burden. He’s been forced to suffer alone. The love he can feel growing in his heart mixed with the comfortable energy around them has Alex feeling seen in a way that brings tears to his eyes. 

Alex may be used to his dad’s violence, but this time is particularly bad. It’s been years since his dad was angry enough to leave a visible bruise. He’s grown used to the bruises to his ribs and back. He wears long sleeves often to cover the handprint shaped welts on his wrists and arms. But having to wear a bruise on his face for the world to see is so much worse. It’s a constant reminder that he’s unloved by the one person who was supposed to care for him no matter what. 

ALEX, Michael pleads with him, even using his new sign name to do so, which only makes things worse because it reminds Alex that he is somebody special to Michael. So why doesn’t his dad feel the same way? 

HE DIDN’T LIKE THAT I WOULDN’T TELL HIM WHERE I WAS, he explains, his hands shaking and his signs sloppy. But Michael understands him well enough. 

Michael’s entire body goes tense and he signs, I’M GONNA KILL HIM. 

He moves towards the door, but Alex grabs him and pulls him back, blocking his path. DON’T, he begs. IT’LL MAKE IT WORSE. HE’LL KNOW I WAS WITH YOU AND THAT WILL MAKE IT WORSE. 

Michael spends another moment looking like he wants to argue before he deflates, looking utterly helpless at not being able to do anything. 

WHAT DO YOU NEED? he asks. 

It’s a simple question, but it’s one Alex isn’t used to being asked. 

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE. 

That’s all it takes. Michael leads him out to the parking lot. They get into his truck together and Michael drives them to the edge of town, stopping only long enough to get them tacos from the place on 3rd. They aren’t better than Arturo’s cooking, but Alex isn’t stupid enough to walk into the Crashdown looking like he does. Michael parks his truck just off the side of the road and leads Alex down and under a familiar bridge. It’s the bridge Rosa and he spray painted a few years ago. 

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE? Alex signs, curious. 

Michael shrugs, sitting down on a large rock and pulling their food out of the bag. I FOUND IT ONE DAY WHEN I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM THE GROUP HOME. 

Alex sits down next to him and takes his taco from Michael but sets it down on his thigh. Unlike Michael, he can’t sign and eat at the same time. He’s not that advanced yet. 

ROSA AND I USED TO COME HERE, he explains. He likes that Michael and he have yet another thing in common. 

ROSA ORTECHO? he asks. When Alex nods, he adds, DID SHE DRAW THAT? 

Michael points to the mural and Alex shakes his head, pointing to himself. Michael’s eyes grow wide in shock before a smile grows. 

WHAT? Alex asks. 

Michael shakes his head, a softer look taking over as he appraises Alex. THAT PAINTING HELPED ME FEEL HOPE WHEN I WAS ALONE, he admits. 

Alex’s heart swells and the air around them electrifies. He reaches out his hand and Michael takes it willingly. He doesn’t really know what to say to something like that, the realization feels huge, but also… expected. Should he really be surprised that Michael had gravitated towards his painting? Hadn’t Alex himself drawn it out of nowhere, feeling a deep need to do it but without a real clear reason why?

Michael was his reason. 

He takes a deep breath in and allows himself to relax into the moment. Michael pulls on him until he’s sitting between his legs and they both eat in comfortable silence. Once they are done, they put their trash away and Alex relaxes completely in Michael’s arms. He smiles softly at the way Michael’s fingers running up and down his arms leave the smallest of shocks. Eventually, his heart feels so full that any darkness left inside of him from his father feels small. Insignificant. 

Here, Alex is safe. Here, Alex is loved. 

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE HE’S LEFT A VISIBLE BRUISE, he admits, realizing that he has no reason to hide any of this from Michael. 

Michael moves away from him, coming around to sit in front of him so they can talk properly. So much of sign language is conveyed through the face, rather than the hands, Alex has come to learn. 

HE SHOULDN’T BE LEAVING ANY BRUISES, Michael signs carefully. 

Alex gives him a look. Michael hasn’t told him everything about his time in the system, but Alex knows about the religious freaks he’s run away from. So he knows that Michael isn’t naive. He knows that the world can be cruel and violent. He shouldn't be surprised that Alex’s dad is a monster. Good men are a rare breed and dad isn’t that. 

ARE YOU SAFE TO GO HOME TONIGHT? Michael asks, clearly worried. 

I DON’T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE, he signs. 

YOU COULD STAY WITH ME. Michael’s face is desperate and Alex’s heart pulls at him until he scoots closer, until their knees are touching. 

IN YOUR TRUCK? Michael’s shoulders tense and his eyes tighten. He takes on a defensive stance and Alex reaches out immediately. I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. I ACTUALLY… 

Alex pictures the two of them together last night, spending the entire evening under the stars. He’d felt happy. He’d felt safe. If he had it his way, he’d spend every remaining minute of his life just like that. 

I THINK I WOULD PREFER THAT, HONESTLY, Alex finishes. 

Michael’s shoulders relax and his eyes soften. FAIR WARNING, IT GETS KIND OF COLD AT NIGHT. 

Alex smirks because neither of them had been all that cold last night, cuddled up together. WE CAN KEEP EACH OTHER WARM. 

Michael smiles at him in that charmingly handsome way he does whenever he’s flirting. But quickly, it turns sad. I WISH I HAD MORE TO OFFER YOU. 

Alex shakes his head. YOU OFFER ME ENOUGH JUST BY BEING HERE. 

YOU’RE CHEESY. Michael rolls his eyes, but blushes all the same. Alex counts it as a win. 

Alex doesn’t say what he wants to say, which is that he’s in love. It’s only been two days and he doesn’t want to scare Michael away. So instead, he reaches out and runs his fingers over Michael’s cheekbones carefully, then frames his face with his hands. He leans his forehead against Michael’s and hopes that Michael, too, is able to feel the broken pieces fitting together, making him whole. Michael sighs happily at the touch. 

Alex has spent his entire life dreaming up escape plans, needing to get as far away from Roswell as humanly possible. But if Michael would keep looking at him like this, filling his spirit with love, warmth, and safety, Alex would stay here forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are love!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this past week I was organizing all of my research for Michael and Alex in this story and realized that I had made 2 big miscalculations in my backstory of Alex based on what I've learned about the Air Force. In order for Alex to have not already outranked his father, he needs to have not yet attended officer training school - thus he is not up to be a captain just yet. Instead, I've gone back and edited the last chapter. The Air Force is tempting him with finally approving his request to become an officer after a few years of being denied. In addition, Alex is not months away from his contract being up, he's only 50 days. I've adjusted that as well. Now, the military is threatening him with going to Georgia immediately (tomorrow) and Jesse's friend who works that base is a total asshole, so the stakes for Alex not wanting to go are pretty high. But mostly, Alex is considering re-enlisting because 50 days is not enough time for them to bring down Project Shepard in a way that promises them all safety from Jesse. So all of those changes have been adjusted due to my stupid miscalculation error. But lesson learned, this is the first multi-chapter story where I didn't sit down and write out all of my research ahead of time to make sure the pieces all fit together. Clearly that's a practice I can't get away with skipping.

**June 2018**

Alex is used to a degree of chaos. Growing up in Jesse Manes’ house then spending a decade in and out of war zones, you get used to a degree of chaos. He knows how the world goes from quiet and dull to crashing down around you in seconds. He knows how suddenly everything changes and rarely for the better. 

Max saving Liz is one of those changes. It’s an IED in the middle of a road on the way back from a quiet, easy mission. It’s the world on fire moments after his buddies complained about how bored they were of the desert. It’s searing pain and fire and the terrible realization that it only takes the blink of an eye to strip someone’s future away. 

Max saved Liz from a bullet. She was shot and he used his alien powers to heal her. 

Alex is struggling with that. Liz is one of his oldest friends. And having already lost Rosa, he can’t imagine living in a world where Liz is gone too. And a bullet? Fuck, Alex knows how brutal and unforgiving a bullet wound is. He’s seen his fair share. He’s glad that Max was there to save her. If Alex thinks he wouldn’t survive Liz dying, Max sure as hell wouldn’t. Alex knows what it’s like to be physically apart from your soulmate, it’s brutal. But to lose one completely? Forever? He’s seen what just the threat of that can do to a man. It’s the reason why Michael now smells like bourbon more than rain. He wouldn’t wish that on Max. He’s glad Liz is still alive. 

But Max using his powers on Liz is an IED. And Alex can’t see the aftermath of this. He doesn’t have a casualty count. He can’t see how widespread the damage is going to be and that’s terrifying. Because his brain is trained to deal with worst case scenarios, and the worst case scenario in this is that Alex is going to lose Michael. Permanently. He’s going to lose all of them. He’ll probably even lose Liz. 

Alex made a promise long ago to protect Michael, Max, and Isobel. He’s kept that promise for ten years through some pretty worst case scenarios, including the murder of his childhood best friend. But this is different. Alex isn’t sure he’ll be able to protect Michael or his siblings if his dad figures out what Max did. It’s one thing to refuse to give up a name under torture. When the only threat to Michael’s safety was Alex talking, he held all of the power. But this is out of his hands and Alex has never liked not being in control. 

It’s after sundown by the time Alex is pulling back into the main part of town. He’s missed watching the sunset with Michael. He sighs. It’s been 356 sunsets without Michael and Alex hates that. It leaves him feeling hollow. His soul pulls at the seams, threatening to break into tiny pieces. He needs a night with his boyfriend to stitch him back together. More than a night if he can help it. 

He parks his car at the Crashdown, taking the time to look up at the stars as he walks towards the front door. He remembers nights when he was a kid, sitting on the roof learning the constellations from Rosa and it makes him sad. His eyes drift towards the cluster of stars where Michael’s people are from. Alex spent many nights this past year at Bagram staring up at that cluster, desperate for any connection to Michael he could get. 

If Alex lived in a kinder world, he’d be back at Foster Ranch with Michael, stargazing in the back of Michael’s truck, reminiscing about old times and happy memories. He’d be winding down the last few weeks of a ten year service record with no thought of re-enlisting. But the world has only ever done one nice and kind thing for Alex and he’s pretty sure after the day he met Michael, it decided it was done doing him favors. 

The mission comes first. His dad taught him that and sadly, it’s true. If he wants to keep Michael safe from Project Shepard, the mission always has to come first. 

When he enters, Aruturo is there, but there’s no sign of Liz. Arturo informs him that she’s gone to visit Rosa’s grave. Alex punches in a song on the jukebox for old times sake and Arturo smiles when one of Rosa’s favorite songs comes on. He gives the man a big hug and allows himself to be ushered into their old booth at the back with promises of a milkshake. He can’t stay for long, but he can stay for a song and the time it takes to make a milkshake. He smiles when he sees the purple nailpolish stain on the table. He’s sure it would come out if somebody bothered buffing it, but he doubts Arturo would ever put that much effort into erasing evidence of Rosa. Alex runs his fingers over the stain, remembering how she used to teach him to be brave. 

It’s difficult for Alex, thinking about that night ten years ago. That night he’d had to make a choice, as if there’d been any choice to make at all. Rosa was already dead. Max had tried to heal her and couldn’t. So Alex could either help cover up the murder, or he could lose Michael as well. The choice had been simple, but it doesn’t mean the choice had ever been easy. He carries the weight of that night around with him and there’s not a single day that he doesn’t think about her. That he doesn’t miss his friend. 

Arturo brings over the milkshake in a togo cup and only allows Alex to leave once he promises to be back in the morning for pancakes and a real visit. Alex doesn’t have any problem agreeing to this. The Crashdown has always been Alex’s favorite place in the world growing up. While his list of favorite places have changed since bonding with Michael, Alex still enjoys being at the diner, surrounded by happy memories of friendship and family. Here, he can remember Rosa as she once was. He prefers to think of her that way. It’s easier. 

He stops by Mrs. O’Riley’s for some flowers before he heads out to the cemetery, hoping to catch up to Liz. He plugs his phone into the car and blasts a playlist full of Rosa’s favorite songs. He’s visited her grave at least once every time he’s been back in Roswell and it never gets any easier. But whenever Rosa was sad, or Alex was in a funk, they always had music. He blasts Alanis Morisette at the top of his lungs, wondering if she would be proud. 

It’s a silly thought. Of course she wouldn’t be proud. If she knew the choices he’d made, she wouldn’t think highly of him. How could she ever understand? She would hate him forever. 

When he gets to the gravesite, it’s overgrown. It’s been awhile since anyone’s done any landscaping, clearly. But it’s at least green. It reminds him of her. Chaotic but full of color and beauty. He moves towards the gravesite, careful on the walk and leaning on his crutch more than he’d like to admit. But it’s clear well before he makes it to Rosa’s tombstone that Liz isn’t anywhere to be found. So he leaves the flowers with a promise to be back soon for a proper visit. 

This is still a mission and he has to find Liz before she has a chance to do anything stupid. 

He gets back into the car and heads to the site of the staged car crash, wondering if Liz had perhaps visited the memorial there instead. He hopes not. Assholes are constantly pulling out Rosa’s cross. Alex usually stops by on his way into town and almost always has to fix it. He regularly reminds Michael to check on it when he’s stationed elsewhere. But he hopes Liz never has to see the way the town disrespects Rosa’s legacy. 

When he arrives at the memorial, he’s alone. Liz isn’t there either. But the cross is in its proper place and there’s a bracelet hanging from it that he recognizes. 

Maria. 

Alex’s phone goes off in his left pocket and he reaches for it instantly. It’s his Michael phone. The one that’s encrypted with military grade software that his dad could never possibly hack into without Alex knowing. He keeps a less intense phone for his daily business in his right pocket. It also has military grade software on it, but nothing his dad couldn’t hack through with minimal effort. There’s just enough security on it to leave his dad thinking he found something special, convincing him to stop looking. There’s even a trail of false leads. A string of photographs with a fake boyfriend. A series of fake texts between him and a boy labeled “soulmate <3” in his phone. If Jesse ever were to look, Alex would know his dad was on to them well before his dad learned that no, the alien he’s bonded to didn’t move to Qatar to work for a steel company. 

He quickly pulls up SnapChat on his Michael phone to see that there’s a new video message from his boyfriend. He opens it. Michael’s face is pissed as he signs, MAX TOLD LIZ. 

Alex takes a deep breath and slips into soldier mode to keep himself from freaking out. One of them needs to be calm and handle the situation efficiently and effectively. It’s not going to be Michael. Alex closes out the app and video calls Michael. He picks up on the first ring. Michael can hear Isobel yelling in the background at Max loudly, and is grateful that Max lives in the middle of the desert. Closest neighbor is a mile out. 

HE TOLD HER? Alex signs one handed as he sets the phone on the dashboard so that he can sign more easily. 

YEP. THE WHOLE THING. Michael’s signs are short and choppy, showing just how upset he is.

Alex wants to be upset with him. He is upset. It wasn’t just Max’s secret to tell and yet, here they are. But he has to be in control right now. He has to keep his head in the mission so that they can get through this. They have to salvage this if they can. 

WHERE IS SHE NOW? he asks. 

Michael shrugs. MAX TOLD HER AND THEN JUST LET HER GO. SHOWED HER THE PODS AND EVERYTHING. 

Alex’s eyes grow wide at the mention of the pods. Alex remembers the first time Michael had brought him to the pods. 

DID SHE TOUCH THEM? he asks, trying to get a full picture of what it is they are looking at here. 

I DON’T KNOW, he signs, frustrated. ISOBEL WON’T STOP YELLING LONG ENOUGH TO LET ME GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE. 

Okay. This could still be okay. Alex remembers what it was like seeing those pods for the first time and touching Michael’s. Perhaps this isn’t as bad as they think. Maybe this could be good. But Alex has to find Liz first. If Michael doesn’t have the whole mission report, Alex needs to get it. 

I’LL FIND HER, he signs. I’M LOOKING FOR HER RIGHT NOW. 

THIS IS BAD, ALEX, Michael signs. 

Alex wishes he were there. He wishes he was standing beside Michael so that he could fill all of that negativity with love, safety, and hope. The look of fear hidden under all the anger is breaking Alex. He has to fix this. 

WHAT DOES MAX SAY? he asks. 

HE DOESN’T THINK SHE’LL TELL ANYONE, Michael signs in a way that tells Alex that he doesn’t buy it. 

MAYBE SHE WON’T, he counters. 

Michael gives him a look, and it’s fair. The world doesn’t usually grant them such favors, but this isn’t some random stranger off of the street they are talking about. This is Liz. Max’s Liz. They are bonded, whether they fully consummated that bond or not. 

LISTEN, I NEVER TOLD ANYONE WHEN YOU TOLD ME, he signs. SHE’S HIS SOULMATE. MAYBE WE’RE NOT GIVING HER ENOUGH CREDIT HERE. 

SHE’S A BIOMEDICAL ENGINEER, Michael signs, looking at him like he’s crazy. SHE LITERALLY HAS SPENT ALL OF HER RESEARCH ON REGENERATIVE MEDICINE AND MAX JUST SHOWED HER THAT HE CAN BRING PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD WITH HIS BARE HANDS. SHE’S GOING TO WANT TO STUDY HIM. US. 

SHE’S ALSO HIS SOULMATE, he counters, trying to keep his own spirits up as much as he is trying to keep up Michael’s. 

THEY NEVER FULLY BONDED, Michael argues. 

PERHAPS, he agrees. BUT HE BROUGHT HER BACK FROM THE DEAD, DID HE NOT? THEY’RE BONDED. EVEN IF SHE DIDN’T TOUCH THAT POD, SHE’S GOING TO BE FEELING THINGS FOR HIM. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND WAS READY TO KEEP YOUR SECRET BEFORE I TOUCHED THAT POD. 

I HOPE YOU’RE RIGHT, Michael says, sighing deeply. 

SO DO I, he admits. 

Michael runs his hand over his face and through his hair, making it look a complete mess. Alex’s fingers itch to smooth it out, but like always, he’s not there to do so. They’re finally in the same city, and still Alex can’t do anything to make Michael feel better. 

It sucks. 

Alex flinches as he hears Isobel yell, quickly followed by a flickering of the lights. 

DON’T LET THEM KILL EACH OTHER, Alex signs. 

Michael rolls his eyes. THEY WON’T KILL EACH OTHER. THEY’LL ARGUE UNTIL ONE OF THE CRIES, PROBABLY MAX. THEN ISOBEL WILL FEEL BAD AND FORGIVE HIM AND THEN IT’LL BE MY TURN TO YELL AT HIM. 

GO EASY ON HIM, Alex signs. YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE BONDED. 

Michael rolls his eyes, but Alex knows that he’ll listen. 

CALL ME WHEN YOU FIND HER, Michael signs. 

I WILL, he promises. I LOVE YOU. 

It earns him a real smile. An exhausted one, but a genuine one. I LOVE YOU TOO, BABE. 

ARE YOU STILL PLANNING ON COMING TO THE CABIN TONIGHT? 

I WOULDN’T MISS THE CHANCE TO SLEEP IN YOUR ARMS, Michael signs. 

They both exchange I love yous one more time and blow kisses at the camera before hanging up. 

Alex sincerely hopes that he’s right about Liz. 

********

**May 2008**

When Michael walks into school, Isobel is glaring at him while annoyance radiates off of her, flooding their connection. She’s standing in front of his locker with Max and looks pissed. He’d blown off school yesterday the moment he’d seen Alex’s bruised face, then completely forgot about their dinner plans. He hadn’t thought about his siblings once. He’d been so consumed with making sure that Alex was alright, then once he was sure Alex was good, was too distracted by how light and happy Alex made him feel. Even now, the happy glow of waking up in the bed of his truck, tangled up with Alex, has him feeling like he’s on cloud nine. 

So really, it’s fair that he’d forgotten dinner until about thirty minutes ago when he’d dropped Alex off at the Crashdown with promises to eat lunch together. He’s not surprised to see that Isobel is pissed. He  _ is _ surprised to see that Max is smiling at him as gratitude hits Michael like a tidal wave. Michael is about to ask what he’s grateful for when Isobel smacks him on the shoulder. Hard. 

_What the hell? We were worried sick,_ she says, crossing her arms and standing tall so as to look more intimidating. 

_Isobel was worried sick, I told her you were probably fine,_ Max says. 

_ Probably. Probably fine. Probably isn’t for sure,  _ she complains.  _ You need a cell phone.  _

Michael rolls his eyes. He’s explained this to her repeatedly, but he wouldn’t expect her to truly understand. She’s never grown up on the streets. She barely spent a month in the system before Max and she were adopted into the Evans’ perfect white picket family. 

_ Cell phones cost money,  _ he explains, shrugging past her to get to his locker as she purposefully jams their connection with all of her anger. And because he’s annoyed that her feelings are starting to seep past his perfect post-Alex glow, and he’s supposed to still be in the group home as far as his siblings are aware, he fires back with something sure to hurt.  _ The devil lives in our phones, corrupting our children and exposing them to sex, drugs, and homophobic thoughts. So sorry if I can’t have the nice things you two have.  _

The anger is instantly gone and replaced with concern, but Michael isn’t interested in that either. 

_I’m getting you a phone,_ she says. 

_ With what money?  _ He rolls his eyes. Isobel and Max might come from a family with money, but the Evans still believe in modesty and humility and neither of his siblings get enough allowance to afford a cell phone plan. And Isobel sure as shit isn’t going to get herself a job. 

_ You don’t have to tell your foster parents about it, but I think you need one,  _ she barrels on, completely ignoring him. Michael gives Max a look and he just shrugs. They both know there’s only so much they can do to stop Isobel when she’s like this.  _ What if you had actually been hurt yesterday?  _

_ That’s what the physic connection is for,  _ Michael reminds her.  _ If I had been hurt, you would have heard me.  _

He checks his watch. So much for getting a chance to shower before classes started. Hopefully Alex won’t think he’s too disgusting. He’ll have to find time to duck out and at least put on some deodorant before lunch. 

_Are you even going to tell us where you were?_ she huffs. 

Michael glares at her. He has zero interest in telling her about Alex. Not yet. Alex is a good thing. And Michael’s life has never had good things. Max and Isobel got all the good, Michael got the bad. That’s how things worked. But now, he has Alex and he’s not ready to share. He’s not ready to let it get taken from him or destroyed. And he sure as hell isn’t ready to answer questions about it. 

When he realizes that she’s not going to let it go, he replies,  _ I was out. Lost track of time. I’m sorry.  _

Isobel’s face goes blank and the connection between them slams shut. She watches him for a moment longer before she does a complete about face and walks off without saying goodbye. Michael scoffs. 

_ Seriously. What is her deal?  _ he asks. She’s been a complete brat recently. Max thinks it’s because of graduation and the fact that they are both leaving soon, but Michael isn’t so sure that’s all it is. 

Max just shrugs, but won’t stop grinning at him, as he leans against the lockers watching Michael. 

So clearly it’s going to be a ping pong from one crazy sibling to the next. 

_ What?  _ Michael asks, unsure if he even wants to know the answer. But at least the feelings Max is sending his way are all positive ones. It helps counteract the total negativity Isobel had brought into his happy bubble. 

_ Dude, aren’t you going to tell me about it?  _ Max asks. 

Michael has the sinking feeling that he knows what Max is talking about. Michael can shield his thoughts from Max and often does, but he can’t always shield his feelings. Still, he plays dumb. 

_ About what?  _

Max gives him an exasperated look.  _ Come on, I can feel it coming off of you. You met them.  _

Michael tries not to visibly freeze, but he’s sure that Max can feel his shock. 

_Who?_ He says, stalling for time, trying to figure out how he’s going to convince Max that he’s not dating Alex Manes. Alex had told him that he’s not comfortable being out and after Michael saw the bruise on his cheek, Michael agreed. Leave it to his nosy psychic brother to ruin the beautiful plan of theirs to sneak around until graduation after less than 48 hours together. 

_ Your person,  _ Max says. 

And, now he’s actually a bit confused. What does Max mean his person? Does Max know about the weird electricity that keeps surrounding the two of them whenever they are together? 

_ Isobel hasn’t met hers yet, but I could feel yours coming on for a while now _ ,  Max explains with this dopey smile. 

_ Max,  _ he says, getting his attention _.  _ Michael needs more information. Now.  _ I have no idea what you are talking about.  _

_ You imprinted,  _ Max says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

_What the fuck?_ he says, trying not to laugh. That had been the last thing he expected to hear. _Imprinted?_ Max nods. _Like a baby duck?_

_ I mean, kind of _ , Max says with a shrug. 

Michael rolls his eyes.  _ I’m going to need you to use more words.  _

Max laughs, and Michael can feel a bit of embarrassment but mostly just amusement and relief. So much relief. It catches Michael off guard. 

_ I don’t really know. It’s not like there’s a manual for this kind of stuff and anyone that could teach us about it died in the crash. I’ve been trying to research it over the years. The closest thing I have to compare it to is what happens with birds. The instant connection and bond. They imprint.  _

Max has imprinted. 

Fuck, he can’t call it that. It sounds super creepy and borderline pedophillic. He’s just gonna call it a bond. 

Max has bonded with somebody. He’s experienced the weird surges of energy and the cosmic pull. He knows how Michael feels. 

_How long?_ he asks, curious why they’ve never talked about this before. Why has Max never brought it up. 

_Ever since second grade,_ he says and instantly Michael gets it. 

_ Liz Ortecho.  _

If Michael wasn’t already sure, the wave of fond energy at just her name would confirm it. Max nods, wearing a smile. 

_ You bonded with Liz,  _ he says it again, slotting this fact into the dataset in his brain that he’s been working on ever since he first touched Alex and realized that there was something otherworldly happening. 

_I mean, a bond implies that it goes two ways. I feel like imprint is more accurate,_ Max explains. 

_ And you think I imprinted on somebody.  _

Not on somebody, he thinks. On Alex. Shit. The way Max is explaining it makes him queasy. 

_ A couple of weeks ago, you changed. Do you remember when you were sitting outside of my science class and I told you that your entropy changed? You brushed it off like it was nothing, but it was something. I know, because it’s what happens to me when I’m around Liz. And today, that change is magnified. It’s radiating off of you so loudly that it’s difficult to hear anything else. You imprinted.  _

Michael doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to. Their connection is wide open. Max must feel it all. The fear that Max sees the truth. The nervousness at what his reaction will be when he realizes that he’s in love with a boy. The love he feels for Alex. The relief that Max might have the answers. The complete anxiety that is some creepy alien connection and it’s not real.

Oh god. What if his powers are doing this to Alex? Making him feel things for Michael that aren’t really there. What if all Alex is feeling is an echo of Michael’s feelings for him? 

Max looks up suddenly and Michael guesses the bell must have rung. He glances around and notices that everyone is hurrying to shut their lockers and head to class. Max goes to leave but Michael grabs his wrist. 

_ Go to class. You already missed most of yesterday and your teacher was pissed. Came and hunted Isobel and I down at lunch demanding to know where you were.  _

Fuck. That’s not gonna be a fun conversation. Either Mrs. Thornton is gonna be worried something traumatic happened and grill him endlessly, or she’s gonna think he’s self-sabotaging and he’s gonna get a lecture. 

_ We’ll talk at lunch _ ,  Max assures him. 

_ Actually…  _

He’s supposed to be having lunch with Alex. He blushes and knows their connection was just flooded with love and fondness which is why Max looks at him amused. 

_Okay,_ he says with a laugh, sending Michael those grateful feelings again. _We’ll find time to talk more later. Don’t worry about it. Have fun._

Michael stuffs his backpack in his locker and grabs his notebook before calling out to Max, who’s already down the hall. Max turns and gives him a questioning look. 

_It’s okay right? It’s not creepy or bad?_ He doesn’t want to be part of something bad. Not with Alex. Alex deserves the world. 

_It’s the best thing in the world,_ Max says. Michael isn’t entirely convinced. Max has been miserable and broody over Liz Ortecho for years. _I promise. This is a good thing._

Michael hopes that’s true. Decides to trust Max is right for now. Because, if he’s being honest, whether this is a genuine bond or some creepy, manipulative imprint thing, Michael doesn’t think he could stop himself from seeing Alex again if he tried. 

********

**June 2018**

When Alex had found out Michael’s secret, he’d been seventeen, so his options for how to deal with the complete mindfuck that was “my boyfriend is an alien” were limited. He’d also still been very much against alcohol of any kind. Liz doesn’t have the same restrictions. So he knows that he’s likely to find her in one of two places: on the roof of the Crashdown with a bottle in hand or at a bar. Since the Pony is closer, Alex tries there first. Besides, if anyone in this town has seen Liz apart from Arturo, it’s Maria. 

He pulls up to the Wild Pony, already rolling his eyes at the sight of his old classmates in the parking lot. He’s not really in the mood for a trip down memory lane with his old bullies. He hopes nobody expects him to talk to them. On a good night, he’s not sociable, and this isn’t a good night. 

He steps through the door and spots Maria immediately tending the bar and he’s relieved to find she’s with Liz. He’s  _ not _ relieved to see that Liz is already drinking. A drunk Liz has always been a chatty Liz and he can’t afford that. This needs to be contained. 

“Alex Manes!” Maria calls out, waving him over. “Are you lost?” she asks once he’s close enough to hear her without her having to shout. “This is not your normal scene.” 

She leans over the bar, opening her arms for a hug and he accepts. “Yeah, well, I was actually looking for this one.” He points to Liz who is looking at him with wide, sad, slightly drunk eyes. 

“Alex,” she says, like she’s surprised to see him, which is fair. He hadn’t told anyone he was coming back since he hadn’t known he was coming back. And even he had, it’s been years since Liz stepped foot in Roswell. “How are you? Or, um… Thank you for your service.” 

Alex holds back a groan. He’s been in town less than a day, but so far he’s been stopped by no less than 8 people wanting to thank him. As if he did anything for them. That’s the thing nobody tells the average citizen about war. It’s not about goodness prevailing and protecting American freedoms like many people think. There isn’t a right side and if there is, he doubts America is ever on it. People want to believe that their military is overseas doing the right thing. Keeping them safe. That’s the only way they can justify the truth. But war is brutal and leaves a large body count. And more often than not, the evil one is you, there for some petty grudge or, more likely, to pad somebody’s bank account. 

But nobody likes to hear that. Just like nobody wants to hear about how he’d never wanted to go into the Air Force. How, if it hadn’t been for Project Shepard, Alex would’ve followed Michael to UNM. He’d be teaching music to school kids and playing coffee shops and open mic nights in his free time. Instead, he follows executive orders that nearly always end up in blood and death at some point. Last time, that death had nearly been his own. 

He could just say thank you. It’s what he says to most of the people who stop him in the street. But this is Liz and he doesn’t have to pretend around her. But he also doesn’t have the time to get into it either while they have another crisis to deal with. So he settles for somewhere in the middle — sass. 

“You know I just did this for attention, right?” he says. 

They all laugh before Liz pulls him in for a hug. 

“So why were you looking for Liz?” Maria asks, pulling out a beer for him and popping off the cap. 

He smiles, knowing he can’t say the full truth, so instead he goes with a half-truth. 

“I heard about what happened at the Crashdown last night and wanted to check in on her,” Alex says, looking at her, cataloging her reaction. He’s impressed when she doesn’t seem to have a reaction at all. 

“Some jerks shot out the window. Hit some ketchup bottles, making a mess. But we’re good,” Liz lies and Alex breathes out a sigh of relief. If she’s lying to him, she’s probably not about to go running to the sheriff or some government agency to spill their secrets. 

“She’s leaving out the best part,” Maria says, pouring Liz and herself another shot. Alex doesn’t know how many they’ve had already, but he knows that Liz should probably be done. His top priority right now is finding an excuse to drive her home. 

“Oh?” he asks, feigning interest so as not to raise suspicions. 

“Max Evans was there,” Maria says. “He and Liz almost got murdered together as they were sharing a milkshake.” 

“Max Evans, huh?” he says, like he doesn’t already know. Well, maybe he hadn’t known the milkshake part. He wonders if Max got around to telling her that he doesn’t actually like Little Green Man, or if he’s still just as pathetic as always around her?

“Yeah,” Liz says with the biggest smile on her face and Alex knows, he remembers well what it was like when everything was still new and shiny and he was just realizing how deeply he was in love with Michael. “I just feel like… I don’t know. I felt a spark.” 

Alex does his best to hide his grin. He’s certain she’d felt a spark if she’d touched Max. Just as he knows that spark would have run through every part of her, making her feel happy and whole in a way she never would have before. 

“Romantic,” Maria says, holding up her shot glass. Liz laughs and shakes her head, clicking her own shot glass and downing it. 

“I don’t know, I’m probably an idiot for even thinking about this,” she says. “I’m not staying here. I have a new grant in San Diego. And who really wants to do long distance?” 

This Alex can agree. Long distance is the worst, but it’s still better than the alternative — a life without Michael in it. 

“Nobody said you have to marry the guy,” Maria says with a chuckle. “Just take that cowboy for a ride. He’s wanted to bang you since middle school.” 

“Oh no,” Alex says with a smirk and they both look at him, waiting for him to continue. “Max Evans is not the type to just bang a girl. He’s the kind of guy who would write her poetry and make love into the morning hours while he stares directly into your soul.” 

Alex can say this confidently because he’s heard the poetry that Max writes. He can get away with teasing him, even when he’s not here, because Max is practically his brother in law and it’s his job to roast him often so that he doesn’t get too big of an ego. And Alex and Michael take that job very seriously. 

“That’s true,” Maria says, laughing. “Still think you can take him for a ride though. Give him good inspiration for that book he’s always writing.”

“I don’t know if I want to get attached,” she says. 

“Sounds to me like you already are,” Alex tells her. Just, in way more ways that Liz even realizes. 

“Yeah…” she says, trailing off, her eyes glazing over and he figures she’s definitely had enough for the night. Only, if he tells her that, he’ll get some femanist rant from both her and Maria. So he tries a different tactic. 

“Hey, you know what we should do?” he says, feigning excitement. “Go to the roof of the Crashdown. It’s been so long, but Rosa used to take me up there when I was feeling all mopey about something.”

“I’m not mopey,” Liz argues. 

“Still.” 

Liz thinks about it a moment before smiling and turning to Maria, as if to ask her permission to leave. 

“Go,” Maira waves them off, taking Liz’s empty glass and setting it under the counter. “I can’t drink anymore than I already have. I’ve gotta close this place tonight. We’ll catch up later.” 

“Love you,” Liz says. 

They both hug Maria before heading towards the door. 

Alex insists on driving her home. She’s too tipsy to drive and he needs to talk to her anyways. He wins her over with a promise to drive her back to her car in the morning after he has breakfast with Arturo. 

They get into his rental car and he allows her to fiddle with the radio before settling on an old 90s station that he’s sure reminds her of Rosa just like it does him. They pull out of the parking lot and spend the first five minutes of the drive in silence. Alex continues to look over, expecting to find her passed out, but she’s not. She’s staring up at the stars in wonder. He wonders if she feels the draw towards the same cluster of stars Alex does. 

When her eyebrows furrow in deep concentration, he decides to try his luck. 

“So you and Max seemed to really bond,” he says, not overemphasizing the word, because he’s not completely useless at information gathering. He might be professionally trained in codebreaking and securities, but he’s spent ten years informally training in many different fields of study in the event they ever needed them against his dad. So Alex knows how to have a conversation to get the information he wants. 

“Yeah,” is all she says, not reacting at all to the word bond. So that rules out the likelihood she touched the pod. 

“It’s nice, when you meet somebody like that,” he says, keeping things light as he figures out how he wants to approach this with her. How much he wants to give her. In many ways, this is for Max and her to figure out together. But in many other ways, Alex is the only other human they know of who has been through this. And Alex doesn’t trust Max to have a full picture of what the bond really is considering, for Max, the bond has meant little but ten years of brooding, yearning, and general loneliness. 

“Yeah,” she says again and he’s about to groan in frustration at her lack of conversation skills when she adds, “I guess I never have. Not like this, at least.” 

And there it is. Something. It’s small, but it’s a window. 

“Not something cosmic?” he asks with a knowing smile. 

Liz turns her head, fixing him with a careful calculated look. She’s trying to assess how much he knows and if it’s safe to tell him. He wonders what her choice will be. 

“You met a boy once.” 

“I did,” he says, wearing that same knowing smile. 

“And?” 

“And I agree, distance sucks,” he says easily. He could leave it at that. He’s never been a real meddler before, that’s Isobel’s territory. But this feels different. He wants to talk to Liz about this. Yes, because he wants to make sure they can trust her with this secret. But also because she used to be one of his best friends growing up and he’s never had anyone to talk to about this before. Not anyone outside of Michael. “It’s worth it, though. For love. At least it has been so far.” 

Liz gasps. “You’re still together?” 

He smiles and she looks outraged at not knowing, but thrilled. “That’s like… what? Ten years? Damn, Alex. How have you kept it a secret for that long?” 

“We’ve had to,” he admits. “It’s safer that way.” 

Her face grows serious and by this point, the booze has completely worn off. He can practically see her brain working at full speed. 

“Um… Who is it?” she asks, carefully in a way that tells him she already has a good guess. 

Still, Alex has never told anyone about Michael. He’s never mentioned him by name. He rarely even tells people he has a boyfriend. But if he’s doing this with Liz, he may as well go for it. She already knows about aliens, what’s one more thing to add to the list. 

“Michael Guerin.” 

It takes her a minute. Michael didn’t grow up with them in the same way that Max and Isobel did. He didn’t move to Roswell until sixth grade and when he did, he didn’t get out much. His foster parents were super religious and believed that everything fun was the devil’s work. He spent his days in a self-contained special ed classroom. And even though he ate lunch nearly everyday for seven years with Max and Isobel, he never talked and went by relatively unnoticed by most. 

“Michael Guerin as in, Max and Isobel’s Deaf friend?” she asks. 

Alex watches her out of the corner of his eye as best he can while still driving. Had Max only told Liz about himself? Hadn’t he taken her to the pods? Hadn’t she seen that there were three of them? 

“How do you guys even communicate?” she asks. 

He knows she doesn’t mean it to sound offensive and they have much bigger fish to fry right now than Deaf civil rights education, so he brushes it aside without saying anything. They can get into it later, once Alex is clear on where she stands with all of this. 

“I learned sign language.” 

“You learned sign language for him?” she says in the tone girls use when they think something is especially adorable. He adds that to the list of ableist things he’s going to educate her on. 

“Kind of?” he says, because he hadn’t known that he was learning sign language for Michael, but that’s how the bond works. It leads you on an unconscious path in which every road ends up at the same destination. 

“When you say it’s safer that way, to keep you guys a secret from everyone…” 

She’s studying him and he knows what she wants to ask. 

“Liz, you can say it,” he says. 

“Say what?” she asks, playing dumb, but that trick would work better on somebody who isn’t well versed in bullshit. 

“The question you want to ask me.” 

Liz opens her mouth to say something but closes it fast. “I don’t have anything I want to ask, Alex. I’m good.” 

He hadn’t been intentionally testing her, but he’s happy nonetheless with her response. He’d given her the easiest excuse in the world to talk about aliens, and she didn’t take it. He’s not sure she’s necessarily ready to stand up to torture, but it’s a good sign nonetheless. And now that he knows they can trust her with this secret, he figures they may as well spend the last five minutes of this drive really talking. He’s sure she could use somebody to help her process everything. 

“Max told you that you couldn’t tell anyone, so I appreciate that you won’t say anything to me. It means that you can be trusted, which is a relief. But I know.” 

“What do you know?” she asks, still playing dumb. He smiles at that. She has the potential to be a really strong asset for them. 

“That Max is an alien,” he says. 

Liz eyes him for a long time, clearly debating what to say next before she finally says, “He told you?” 

“Michael told me. A long time ago,” he says, watching as she relaxes into her seat. 

“So how did you handle it when you found out?” she asks nervously. 

“I was confused at first. I assumed he was joking or that I misunderstood what he’d said.” 

“And when you knew it was true, what did you do?” she presses. 

He shrugs. “It was Michael. At the end of the day, he was still the same boy I fell in love with. It didn’t change anything for me. If anything, we grew closer.” 

“I barely know Max.” 

He can hear the confusion in her voice and knows that she is fighting against her feelings. He gets it. It’s difficult when you experience the bond at first. It’s so different from how you always hear falling in love is going to be. It’s instant, but once you are made aware of it, you realize that the connection has always been there. 

“That’s not true.” 

She doesn’t say anything, but her arms cross against her stomach and she turns to look out the window. He should leave it be. It’s not his life and so it’s not his business. But he would hate to see Liz throw this away simply because she’s scared to fall. He knows her. She’s a runner. She’s afraid of commitment. She’s slow to trust and scared to have her heartbroken. She’ll let this moment pass through her fingers just to prove a point that she doesn’t need anyone. But she shouldn’t. Alex doesn’t need Michael either to survive. That doesn’t mean his life isn’t made better with him in it. 

“You guys have a connection,” he says. 

She nods in agreement, a small smile on her face. It fades and turns into confusion, before settling on understanding. “The spark I feel around him, the energy? It’s alien,” she says. 

“Yes and no,” he says, trying to figure out how to begin to explain this. It will be easier for her once the bond is fully formed. She’ll have the same understanding as he does of all the ways in which the world connects together. 

“What does that mean?” she asks as they turn onto the block where the Crashdown sits. He parks the car and shuts off the engine before turning to face her. 

“It’s love.” 

She laughs at that before giving him a skeptical look. “That’s crazy.” 

“Any crazier than Max healing you from a bullet?” 

She crosses her arms, she’s closing herself off. He’s pushed too far, she needs to discover the rest on her own. He needs to let her. 

“Why are you here, Alex?” she asks. “To play creepy wingman to Max?” 

He sighs. Definitely pushed too far. He needs to reign it back. 

“I’m here to make sure you don’t tell anyone about what Max told you,” he says, figuring he may as well continue on the truth train with her. 

She scoffs and Alex gets that she’s processing a lot and likely offended, but she doesn’t get it. How could she?

“I’m not sure what Max told you or if he asked you not to tell,” he says. “And I’m sure you’re thinking that our fears are of some invisible boogeymen who may or may not be out there. But I’m here to tell you that their fears are real. That they are worried and have very good reason to be. Really bad people are out there who would give anything to find the three of them.” 

He holds her gaze for a long moment before she nods her head. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, Alex.” 

“I believe you,” he says, finding that it’s true. He isn’t afraid of her. His worry over Liz being an IED for them has faded. 

She unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the car. He watches as she pulls her keys out of her jacket pocket and walks to the door, pausing when she gets there. He rolls down the window. “Everything okay?” 

He wonders if maybe she’s drunker than he thought and can’t figure out how to unlock the door. 

“This bond…” she says, trailing off. 

“Yeah?” 

“Max called it an echo. Said that I was only feeling what he felt for me. That it wasn’t real,” she says. 

Alex sighs. Max is melodramatic and doesn’t understand the bond. How could he? He’s spent twenty years with a half formed bond to a girl who’s been unavailable to him. 

“Max doesn’t know everything,” he says. She looks like she wants to ask more, but in the end, she simply nods and waves him goodbye. “Night, Alex. I’m glad you’re home again.” 

Home. Alex won’t be truly home until he’s been able to spend a night in Michael’s arms, his energy healing his broken pieces, but Liz doesn’t need to know that. 

“Night Liz,” he says. “Tell your dad I’m still planning on stopping by for breakfast in the morning.” 

He waits until she’s inside and has locked the door behind her before leaving. He shoots a quick Snap to Michael, letting him know that he’s on his way and they can rest easy for the night. 

He gets a Snap from Michael as he’s pulling the car out of the parking spot. Nobody is on the street this late so he stops long enough to see that Michael is sitting on his front porch, waiting for him to come home. 

And god, isn’t that all Alex has ever wanted to do? 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright this chapter got a lot longer than I anticipated so I had to divide up in half. But I doubt many of you will complain after you learn that it's almost entirely smut... I figured our boys could use it. 
> 
> This is the first smut I've written in several years, so I hope everyone enjoys it. It has me a bit nervous to post... Special shout out to Brooke (litwitlady) for talking me into this and all the lovely people who are part of the Discord #LiveWrite who encouraged me along the way.
> 
> Warnings for: Smut, Top!Alex, Bottom!Michael, blow jobs, fingering, and anal sex

**June 2018**

It’s nearly midnight when Alex pulls up the driveway to the cabin, exhausted. It’s dark. None of the lights are on and he wonders for one worried moment, if Michael has actually given up waiting and gone home. But then he feels it. The subtle shift of energy. A slight pull at his heart that only grows stronger the closer he gets to the cabin. When he’s close enough, his headlights illuminate Michael, sitting on the steps of the front porch. Alex can’t help but smile at the sight of him. 

He parks his car and shuts off the engine, not bothering to pull his bag out of the trunk as he gets out. He can collect his stuff later, right now there’s only one thing he wants to do. Michael stands up, slowly walking towards him, looking equally exhausted but relieved. The moment he’s close enough, Alex holds open his arms and Michael falls into them. 

Michael’s hands grab fistfuls of his shirt as he holds him close and buries his face in his neck. Alex runs one hand through his hair and another over his back as he breathes in deep, blinking back tears. Love seeps into his veins and his heart begins the slow process of piecing itself back together. Pieces of himself he thought were destroyed by war begin to resurface, helped along by their connection. They stand there, holding each other for several minutes, allowing their bond to re-solidify and fill the empty spaces in both of their hearts. It’s not perfect. It can’t be. Not with as much trauma as they’ve both suffered this latest separation but it’s a start. 

The tension in Michael’s body slowly melts away and the more loose he becomes in Alex’s arms, the more Alex’s own stress evaporates. Eventually, all that is left is a calm security. The bad stuff is still there, under the surface, but it’s distant, out of reach. The broken pieces less piercing. For now, there is just the bond. 

Alex is home. 

He’s finally,  _ finally _ home. 

Michael pulls away from him just far enough to be able to sign between them. He lets go of his shirt to bring his hands up. 

HEY, he signs with a soft smile. 

HEY, Alex signs back with one hand, his other still playing with Michael’s curls, not quite ready to let go just yet. WHERE’S YOUR TRUCK? he asks. He doesn’t see it in the drive. 

PARKED IT AROUND BACK, he explains. DIDN’T WANT YOUR DAD TO SEE IF HE DECIDED TO DO A DRIVE BY. 

Alex shakes his head. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT, he signs. I HAVE SO MUCH SECURITY ON THIS PLACE, WE’D SEE SOMETHING COMING FOR MILES. 

Michael shrugs and Alex doesn’t press. He knows that Michael doesn’t trust the security, and while he could easily be insulted by that, it’s not something worth pushing. Not when they’ve got more important priorities at least. 

Michael reaches out and runs a gentle finger up and down his arm. In the silence of the night, Alex can actually hear the crackle as static shocks ignite at the touch. He shudders as Michael’s energy settles warm in his stomach. He licks his lips as his eyes drift towards Michael’s own before rising back up to meet his eyes. He wonders if his own eyes are as dark and hungry as Michael’s are. 

WANNA HEAD INSIDE? Michael signs and Alex nods eagerly. 

He takes Michael’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together. Walking backwards, retaining eye contact. He pulls them towards the door, taking each step carefully as he’s still not overly steady on his new prosthesis without a crutch, but he trusts Michael not to let him fall. 

Michael’s free hand reaches out, sneaking under his shirt to rub at the spot above his hip. Alex finds it more difficult than it should be to find his keys. After ten years together, the littlest touches still thrill him. He’s always wondered if that’s part of the bond or if he’d still feel that way without the cosmic connection that bonds them forever together. Eventually he finds the key and turns around to get the door open. Michael takes that as an invitation to place an open mouth kiss to the back of his neck and Alex actually drops the key to the ground. 

He should be annoyed, but Michael’s hands begin truly exploring, one hand brushing against a nipple while the other starts sneaking into his pants. It’s a good thing that the closest neighbor is miles away, because the moan Alex lets out when Michael’s hand brushes against his cock through his boxers is beyond indecent. 

Forgetting all about the key, Alex turns around, grabbing Michael’s hips and moving them around until he’s pinned against the door. He then grabs Michael’s wrists and holds them over his head as he gives him a positively filthy kiss. The second their lips meet, it’s like a rubber band snaps between them. Michael pulls his wrists free and his hand moves to Alex’s back, his hair, his ass. Alex grabs at Michael’s hips tightly, rocking their hips together. 

Michael’s head falls back, smacking against the door as he lets out an involuntary noise that goes straight to Alex’s cock. Michael doesn’t vocalize. Ever. Not consciously. But fuck if he doesn’t make the loudest noises when they are in bed together. It’s no wonder Alex has an almost Pavlovian response to Michael’s vocalizations. 

Alex kisses his way down Michael’s neck as Michael grabs a handful of hair, holding him in place when he begins kissing at Michael’s overly sensitive pulse point. He makes that noise again and Alex grows impossibly harder. His pants are too tight as he thrusts his hips against Michael’s, the friction not nearly enough. Alex’s hands make their way under Michael’s shirt, scratching at his back, desperate. 

A year is a long fucking time to be away with nothing but the occasional naughty photo and video between them. Alex has spent too many nights with a bottle of lube and a grainy cell phone image of Michael as his only company. He needs this. They both do. 

Michael tugs at his hair until Alex moves his head and Michael can capture his lips in a kiss. He can feel Michael’s responding moan in his bones. 

Alex is, admittedly, very distracted. So he doesn’t hear the lock click, but he certainly notices when the door swings open and they both go stumbling in through the door, slightly off balance. The benefits of dating an alien though is that he’s saved from tumbling to the floor by Michael’s super helpful telekinesis. 

SORRY, Michael signs, his face flushed as he smiles at Alex in a way that lets him know he’s not sorry in the least. BUT I DON’T WANT A QUICK FUCK AGAINST A DOOR. I WANT A BED AND I WANT TO TAKE MY TIME WITH YOU. I’VE HAD A YEAR TO COME UP WITH A PLAN. 

ME, TOO, Alex signs, pushing at Michael’s chest and guiding him back through the cabin towards the bedroom, pulling off his flannel and tossing it to the side, not remotely caring where it lands. It’s a problem for another time. 

Michael grabs the hem of Alex’s shirt and he raises his arms so Michael can pull it off. Once his head is clear of the shirt, Michael lets go and frames his face with his hands, moving in for a kiss. Alex has to untangle his arms for a moment before the shirt finally falls to the floor and he can wrap his arms around Michael’s shoulders. 

Michael moves them until Alex’s back hits the wall and Michael presses his entire body against him. He can feel how hard Michael is through his pants and lets out a needy moan that Michael won’t hear but will definitely feel given how close they are. Michael moves in to kiss him and Alex’s hands struggle in an attempt to pull off Michael’s shirt. It’s hard when every time Michael’s tongue brushes against his own, he loses all sense of time and reason. But eventually, he manages to get a decent hold on the shirt and pulls it up and Michael is gracious enough to pull away for a moment so that they can toss the offending shirt to the side. Once he’s shirtless, Alex looks him up and down hungrily and Michael smirks. 

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE SERGEANT? he teases, but Alex is too far gone for teasing banter. Instead, his hands reach out to touch his chest, his hips, his arms, everywhere he can reach. Eventually, Michael grabs at one of his wrists to stop him, holding his hand against his heart. 

WE HAVE TIME, Michael signs carefully with one hand, before caressing his cheek in a way that can only be described as reverent. 

Alex tries to slow down his breathing but his mind goes to the ticking clock hanging over them, counting down to a necessary decision. Michael isn’t going to want to talk about it, but they will need to. If Alex doesn’t re-up his contract, he’ll be shipping out in twelve hours time. 

Michael must sense his panic, because he takes an extra long breath, giving Alex a pointed look. Alex reaches his other hand up until they are both settled on Michael’s chest and he does his best to match Michael breath for breath. 

WE HAVE TIME, Michael signs again a minute later, and Alex can see that he’s not naive. He’s aware of the bomb hanging over them but he needs to ignore it and Alex is willing to let him. If only because both of them need to lose themselves in each other for a few hours and try to forget all about the horror of Alex’s injury and near death experience. About the lingering fear of what Max’s confession is going to do to their already fragile world. About everything shitty in between. 

They may not have a lot of time, but they have at least a few hours and they’ve done a lot more with a lot less. 

Alex’s hands move from Michael’s chest to his hips and pull him back in. Michael gives him a look, wanting to make sure he’s good. Alex nods and Michael raises his eyebrows, needing to be sure. Alex kisses him in answer. It’s sweet at first. A few tender, slow kisses to remind each other of just how cherished they are. But it doesn’t last long. Michael’s energy intensifies and surrounds them and Alex can feel Michael’s want move through his body and settle in his stomach. 

Their kisses become more frantic and Alex pushes at Michael’s hips to get him to move. They start walking back down the hall towards the bedroom, tripping over each other along the way, refusing to stop kissing for even a second. Not even after they run into the door frame. Michael’s mouth moves to his jaw, his throat, his Adam’s apple, before licking his way up to his ear. His breath is hot and sends a wave of heat through Alex as he moves to undo Michael’s belt and pull it off, cursing as the belt gets caught up on the loops of his jeans. 

Michael flips them around so that Alex is against the door frame. He pulls the belt from his pants and tosses it to the side before sinking to his knees. Alex’s breath stutters at the sight. Michael has always looked so gorgeous on his knees before him, the way he looks up at him through those beautiful lashes, eager to please. He bites his lip to hold back an embarrassing moan as Michael begins unbuttoning Alex’s jeans. His hand brushes against his overly hard cock as he slowly undoes the zipper and Alex can’t stop his hips from bucking, chasing the touch. 

YOU WANNA ASK ME FOR SOMETHING? Michael signs, his hands brushing just slightly over his cock as he signs, making Alex whine. Michael either feels it or he knows him well enough after ten years together to sense it because he smirks up at him, looking proud of himself.

Alex is about to give him shit for it when suddenly it hits him what’s about to happen. He can’t believe he didn’t think about it before. He grabs Michael’s hand to stop him from pulling his jeans off. He’s never seen his leg. 

In his heart, he knows that Michael won’t care. He loves him. He’s told Alex that it doesn’t bother him. But it’s one thing to say that over the phone, it’s something else entirely to be confronted with the reality of his injury as they are getting ready to have sex. What if Michael doesn’t find him attractive anymore? 

WHAT’S WRONG? Michael asks, confused. 

Alex shakes his head, not quite ready to admit how nervous he is about Michael’s reaction. About being vulnerable with him in a completely new way. Michael knows him though. He’s always known him. Alex doesn’t have to state his fears for Michael to see them. 

Rather than say anything, Michael watches him closely as he slowly pulls his pants down, giving Alex plenty of time to stop him. He holds his breath as his stomach ties itself into knots. His entire body tenses, but he doesn’t look away and he doesn’t ask him to stop. The moment his pants are low enough to reveal his prosthesis, his hands curl into fists and he forces himself to push through his discomfort and trust Michael with this, who else is there? 

Michael helps him get his pants all the way off. He’s raising his hands to say something but Alex grabs his wrists and pulls him up to crush their lips together, whatever Michael had been about to sign gets forgotten. They continue kissing as they move into the bedroom only half paying attention to their movements as both of them are more focused on the desperate desire for more. So Alex should probably feel guilty for not letting Michael know that he’s walking into the bed — it’s bad form Deaf culture wise — but the way Michael laughs as he lands on the bed tells him he doesn’t mind. Alex moves much more carefully as he gets into bed, but eventually settles, straddling Michael’s hips. 

I’VE MISSED YOU, he signs, smiling down at him, taking in his beauty. Michael is honestly so attractive it actually hurts sometimes.

ME, TOO, he signs as one hand rubs up and down Alex’s thigh, sending little shocks of pleasure through his body. 

Alex leans down and begins to kiss a path from Michael’s neck to his chest and then his stomach. When he licks the strip of skin right above the waistband of Michael’s jeans, Michael cries out what can only be an approximation of his name. It’s hot as fuck and Alex has to reach down to put the heel of his palm to his dick for a moment as he tries to get himself together before this is all over too soon. 

Michael notices and does it again and Alex has to grit his teeth and take several deep breaths just to stop himself from coming right then and there. When he looks up, Michael is biting his lips to hold back his laughter. 

I HATE YOU, Alex signs with a glare and Michael lets out a loud happy laugh. 

He says Alex’s name again and Alex rolls his eyes trying to pretend that it doesn’t affect him nearly as much as it does. He slides further down the bed as his hands unbutton Michael’s jeans. He unzips them, purposefully moving slow enough that Michael arches his hips up into the touch as he whines. Payback is a bitch and Michael should know better than to tease Alex by now. He hooks his fingers into the waistband before pulling his jeans and boxers off in one go.

He takes a minute to sit back and just stare at Michael in all of his glory, happy to get to see all of him without any filter or crappy pixelization. Michael nudges him, trying to get him to move, but Alex refuses to be rushed. He looks him over from head to toe, taking in every little change that has occurred over the last year, rememorizing his body. He’s slightly thinner than Alex is used to. Not anything that he needs to be immediately concerned about, but just enough for Alex to know that he should probably have checked more often that Michael was eating 3 regular meals a day and not just drinking them. 

ARE YOU PLANNING ON MOVING OR AM I GOING TO NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS MYSELF? he signs, raising a challenging eyebrow. 

Alex tilts his head as he considers it. Watching Michael get himself off is always going to be an attractive option. He’s so sexy when he’s pleasuring himself, fingering himself and getting himself ready… But Alex has been watching Michael masturbate for a year over video chats… He wants everything they haven’t been allowed. 

Michael props himself up on his elbows and goes to touch himself and Alex slaps his hand away, jokingly signing, MINE. 

YOURS, Michael signs back, completely serious. It sends a thrill through him, his body warming as the bond reminds him just how true that is. 

Alex reaches out to take hold of Michael, enjoying the way he immediately falls back on the bed and moans. Michael closes his eyes as Alex wraps his hand around him and begins slowly pumping. He takes his time, pulling the most delicious sounds out of him. Michael’s breath begins to quicken and hips start thrusting up into the touch. He then leans over and licks at the tip. Michael’s hands fly out aimlessly before fisting in the comforter. Alex licks at the tip again, savoring the taste that he’s missed all this time away. 

Maria and Liz always complain about giving blow jobs, they hate it. Alex doesn’t get that. He loves it. Granted he’s only ever tasted Michael, so perhaps he’s not working with a fair sample size. Still, he enjoys the salty, slightly bitter taste. He enjoys how Michael smells even more like an oncoming storm from down here. 

He wraps his lips around him as one of Michael’s hands find its way into his hair. Alex reaches up with one hand to hold his hips in place, knowing that Michael has a tendency to get a little too enthusiastic in his thrusting whenever Alex goes down on him. He begins moving up and down, setting a slow, lazy pace, wanting to truly enjoy this, though he knows it will drive Michael crazy. 

Michael’s hands grip tighter, pulling at his hair and it sends a wave of want through Alex. His own cock is throbbing, but it can wait. Michael’s hips start rocking in full force as Alex expected and he has to hold his hips to avoid choking on Michael’s cock completely. Michael’s breathing grows more shallow and Alex tastes precome on his tongue and can’t help but moan. The vibrations only serve to make Michael grip harder as his heels dig into the mattress. 

Alex increases his pace, as his hand sneaks around to rub at Michael’s hole. Michael cries out loudly and though it would be unintelligible for most, Alex can very clearly hear him yell, “Fuck!” 

Michael attempts to pull him off of him, signaling he’s about to come. Alex wants to taste him though and doesn’t move. He continues to rub his hole and hollows out his cheeks, increasing the suction until Michael is coming down his throat, his entire body shaking with the orgasm. 

Alex can feel the energy radiating out of Michael and through their connection, and it fills him with such an overwhelming feeling of home that it brings tears to his eyes. When he pulls away, Michael sits up and wipes his tears away, concerned. 

WAS I TOO ROUGH? he signs, clearly worried. 

Alex shakes his head and smiles at him. YOU WERE PERFECT. 

Michael seems to understand. He places his hands on either side of Alex’s face and rests his forehead against his own as he tries to catch his breath. Alex is still painfully hard, sitting here in just his boxers, but he is more than happy to give Michael a minute to recover before they continue. 

I MISSED THIS, Michael signs. 

BLOW JOBS? I BET YOU DID. He laughs. 

NO, he rolls his eyes. I MEAN, SURE. BUT I JUST MISSED HAVING YOU HERE. 

Alex smiles. The feeling is mutual. 

Michael moves up the bed so that his head is lying on the pillows. Alex stands up and shrugs his boxers off. He’s about to climb back in when Michael gestures to his prosthesis and signs, ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE THAT ON? 

Alex freezes. He hadn’t thought this far ahead, honestly. It’s still a new reality for him. He’s lived in the hospital for so long that being out in the real world, he still forgets sometimes that he’s living with a new normal. That he can’t do things in the same way he used to. He knows that he would be more comfortable with it off. It’s after midnight by now and he’s already going to pay the price for having it on for so long. But he’s still not sure that he’s ready for Michael to really see him. It had been hard enough taking his pants off in front of him. 

IT’S YOUR CALL, Michael signs. I JUST WANT YOU TO BE COMFORTABLE. 

Alex takes a minute, debating with himself, before he starts undoing his leg. In for a penny, in for a pound or something right? Once he has the leg off and sets it to the side, he turns back around and Michael is beaming at him. He reaches out for Alex’s hand and pulls him down on the bed until they are laying next to each other. 

He doesn’t give Alex time to feel self conscious, his hand grabs at his cock and starts pumping him just how Alex likes it. He throws his head back and moans loudly. He reaches out to the bedside table, stretching his arm out, struggling to reach. It’s too far away, but he’s unwilling to move away from Michael’s touch. Thankfully, there are a few benefits to dating a telekinetic alien. The drawer slides open and a bottle of lube makes its way into Alex’s hand, all without Michael letting up his quick, unrelenting pace. 

I ASSUME YOU’RE LOOKING FOR THAT? he signs with one hand, wearing a cocky smile. Alex could give him shit for it, but Michael’s confidence is well earned after years of learning exactly what it takes to get Alex going. 

Alex arches up into Michael’s touch, eager for more friction, all the while, pouring lube into his hand. Once his fingers are coated, he pushes on Michael’s shoulders until he rolls over onto his stomach. Alex groans at the way Michael already has his legs spread and is arching his ass in the air, ready to be touched. 

Michael is always so much more soft and pliant after an orgasm. He loves it. He runs his finger over his hole, smiling wide at the way Michael cries out at the touch. He teases him for a moment or two before Michael’s cries become more desperate and Alex takes pity, slowly sliding a finger inside of him. 

He’s tight. It takes him a minute to relax into the touch. Once he does, Alex begins pulling his finger back out and pushing in again, moving slowly and carefully until Michael is completely relaxed and ready to take more. He then slides a second finger into him. Michael is tense at first, but relaxes fairly quickly and begins moving back against him, needing more. 

Michael turns his head so that he can watch him over his shoulder. His eyes are blown wide with lust and he looks so fucking gorgeous like this, opening, wanting, and desperate. Michael moves his knees under him so that he has the leverage to push back more against Alex’s touch and braces one hand against the headboard for support while the other hand signs MORE. 

Alex leans over his body, kissing him filthy, their tongues sliding against each other in a hurried, uneven rhythm as Alex pushes a third finger inside of Michael and wraps his other hand around his own cock, needing the relief. 

NOW.. READY.. MORE... FINISH... Michael signs, sloppy and barely recognizable. 

Alex knows that he wants more, fuck, he’s already painfully hard himself. He refuses to be rushed, though. It won’t be good for either of them if Michael isn’t ready to take him. He pulls his fingers out and coats them with more lube while Michael whines, reaching back behind himself, trying to pull Alex back in. 

He spends the next several minutes focused on making sure Michael is good and stretched. He purposefully rubs at his prostate every few strokes, loving the way Michael practically vibrates with need. Eventually, Michael rolls over onto his back, pushing him away. 

I’M READY, STOP TEASING, Michael signs, using his telekinesis to pull a condom out of the drawer. 

YOU ACT LIKE WATCHING YOU LIKE THIS HASN’T BEEN A GIANT TEASE FOR ME, he signs with a playful glare as Michael unwraps the condom. AT LEAST YOU’VE ALREADY GOTTEN OFF ONCE. 

Alex hisses as Michael reaches out to touch his oversensitive cock, catching a bead of precome with his finger and raising it to his mouth to taste Alex. He has half a mind to just grab him by the curls and get him to suck him off with that pretty mouth of his. But he doesn’t. He wants to be inside of Michael. He wants to be buried deep and fully connected when he comes. 

Michael grabs a hold of him again, and Alex isn’t surprised to see that he’s already leaking a fair amount of precome, giving Michael plenty of lubrication to start jerking him off. He’d nearly come already watching Michael fall over the edge and the electricity moving through Alex’s body ever since has been intoxicating and demands a release. Michael pumps him until his body begins to flail and his orgasm grows near, before stopping. 

He sits up and rolls the condom over Alex, who nearly falls over at the touch. He’s so hard it hurts. There is no way he lasts long once he’s actually inside of Michael. He pushes at Alex’s shoulders until he’s laying on his back and Michael moves to straddle him. A surge of intense want moves through him at the way Michael is staring down at him hungrily. He loves watching Michael fuck himself on his cock, shamelessly. It’s probably Alex’s favorite position of theirs, and Michael knows that. He’s smiling down at him knowingly. 

MY TURN, Michael signs, before grabbing Alex’s writs and holding them over his head. 

Alex doesn’t dream of arguing with him. Anticipation floods his system and he holds his breath. Michael keeps his arms pinned down with his telekinesis as his hand reaches behind himself to take hold of Alex as he lowers himself down on his cock. 

He’s so painfully tight that Alex has to bite his lip and focus just to keep from coming right then and there. The connection floods with pleasure and the air around them crackles with energy. He’s overwhelmed with both Michael moving above him and his energy moving inside of him. It’s too much and not enough and exactly what Alex has been missing all of this time away. 

When Michael bottoms out, he’s distracted enough that his powers let go of Alex’s wrists. Alex takes the opportunity to reach out with both hands and grab fistfuls of Michael’s curls, pulling him down for a kiss that’s all teeth and tongues but somehow still manages to convey just how relieved they both are to be here, in this place, together again. 

Alex thrusts his hips upward, trying to get Michael to move and he must hit his prostate because he breaks the kiss to moan loudly. He sits up and rests a hand behind him on Alex’s thigh, using it as leverage while the other hand rests on Alex’s stomach. Alex can’t help but stare at the picture Michael paints before him — eyes closed, mouth partially open, and looking like pure sin. Alex thrusts his hips again and Michael’s eyes fly open as he glares at Alex playfully. 

PATIENCE, he signs. 

FUCK PATIENCE, Alex signs back, causing Michael to laugh. It’s a mistake on Alex’s part because the movement causes Michael to squeeze around his already painful cock. A whole new wave of want moves through him. 

DON’T, I’M GONNA COME, he admits. 

THAT’S THE POINT, LOVE, Michael signs, starting to move slow and steady. 

I WANT THIS TO LAST, he signs as he best he can while his entire body starts shaking with the intensity of the feelings flooding his system both physically and emotionally. 

He’d nearly forgotten how intense the bond is when they are like this. Part of him had started thinking maybe his memory had exaggerated the feelings, but his veins feel like they are electrified as Michael’s love moves through him and he can feel his orgasm building warm in his belly. It’s going to be an intense one. 

WE CAN DO THIS MORE THAN ONCE YOU KNOW, Michael signs with one hand while his other plays with Alex’s balls. Alex arches up into Michael who falls forward, hands bracing against his chest as he moans. That seems to do the trick, Michael begins fucking himself shamelessly on Alex’s cock and Alex lays back and watches, enjoying the show that is Michael Guerin. 

Fuck. 

He fights against the urge to close his eyes as the intensity of it all becomes too much. He meets Michael’s eyes and it shouldn’t surprise him to see such love and devotion in his gaze, after all, they are literally soulmates. But Alex still feels like the luckiest man in the world every time he realizes just how deeply he is loved. He doesn’t understand how normal humans live their entire life without ever feeling like this. Without knowing what it’s like to have another person’s energy move through you and fill you up until the broken pieces slot together and every bad memory disappears. 

Knowing he’s not going to last much longer and wanting Michael to come with him, he grabs hold of Michael cock. He’s careful to catch the precome Michael is already leaking and uses it as lube, pumping him as his breath hitches. Michael’s whole body shudders and Alex’s can see he’s quickly moving to that ledge. The nightstand starts rattling as Michael begins to lose control. With his free hand, he reaches out to rest his hand against Michael’s heart, letting him know that he’s got him.

Michael breathes out his name and that’s all it takes. Alex’s entire body tenses, his back arches, and he lets out a string of curse words Michael will never hear. Then he’s falling over the edge. His vision goes black for a moment as then everything is bright. It’s all gold strings and iridescent pinks and alien symbols that Alex has come to learn mean he’s exactly where he’s meant to be. The energy within him goes haywire for a bit as his orgasm continues to overtake him. 

He’s vaguely aware of Michael going over the edge with him. He reaches out blindly and Michael grabs both of his hands, lacing their fingers together, giving Alex something solid to hang onto while he continues to float. 

Eventually, they both come down and Alex opens his eyes to find Michael laying on top of him, completely boneless in the way he only ever is after sex. They are sweaty and sticky, and the more he comes down the more he notices the sweat starting to chill in the breeze coming out of the A/C unit. He wraps his arms around Michael and holds him close, his personal space heater. He buries his face in Michael’s curls and takes a deep breath in, letting the smell of rain fill his senses. 

They’ll need to clean up in a few minutes, during which Michael will undoubtedly try and talk him into shower sex, but for now, they are content to just be. Their bond is strong and steady and in this moment, all is right with the world. 


	5. Chapter 5

**June 2008**

DO YOU EVER THINK WE’RE MOVING TOO FAST? Alex signs one afternoon as they are both laying in the back of Michael’s truck, looking up at the clouds, waiting for sunset. 

It’s been two weeks since they first met and they’ve spent virtually every waking minute together. They’ve even spent some nights together, curled up much as they are now, falling asleep under the stars. Alex knows that two weeks isn’t hardly any time at all, and yet, he feels such a deep connection to Michael that it feels like they’ve been together their entire lives. He’s in love with him, not that he’s told him that yet. He knows how crazy that would sound. 

Alex has Red Hot Chili Peppers playing loud enough that Michael can feel the vibrations through the bed of the truck. They are supposed to be at prom, but both of them had decided if they couldn’t go together, then there wasn’t really any appeal. They are on their sides as close as they can get while still being able to sign between them, their legs tangled together under the thick blanket that Alex has bought for days like this. 

WHAT’S TOO FAST? Michael asks, adorably confused. WE HAVEN’T EVEN HAD SEX YET. DO YOU WANT TO SLOW DOWN? 

NO, Alex signs with a blush, because sex with Michael has definitely been on his mind a lot recently. If anything, he wants to speed things up. He just wants to make sure that when they do have sex, they do it right. And right now, their only options are the back of Michael’s truck and the toolshed, neither of which feel nearly romantic enough for Alex. And Michael deserves romance. 

I JUST MEAN… WE ONLY MET TWO WEEKS AGO AND ALREADY WE’RE… Alex trails off, never knowing how to describe the intense connection that they both share. 

It’s electric and all encompassing. It seeps into his veins, warming his blood, making him feel seen in a way he’s never experienced. Making him feel loved. So loved. There are times that he can literally feel Michael inside of him. Whenever he’s around him, all Alex knows is peace and safety. 

He’s watched a lot of rom coms with Liz and Maria, and none of them describe love as anything resembling the intense bond he shares with Michael. Nor has he ever heard of people getting static shock often when they touch their significant other. 

WE’RE COSMIC, Michael signs with such a stupidly fond smile on his face that Alex has to kiss him. That’s exactly what it feels like. That same overwhelming feeling Alex gets when he looks up at the stars is how he feels with Michael. 

When they pull away, Michael’s hands stay in his hair, keeping him close. If there’s one thing he’s learned about Michael, it’s how tactile he is. He always wants to be touching Alex in some way or another. It gets a little complicated when they are trying to have a conversation and need their hands free, but they’re two creative guys and make it work. 

Alex pulls back just far enough to squeeze his hands between them so he can sign, DOES IT EVER MAKE YOU THINK? 

He’s not sure what he’s trying to get at exactly, but he just wants to know if Michael ever has the same questions about their connection and how unique it is. If he has any ideas why or how they are able to share a bond so deep. They’ve connected like this ever since their first meeting, and it’s weird. Good, but still weird. 

Michael shrugs, dropping one hand from his hair to sign, I DON’T REALLY QUESTION IT. 

Alex is always jealous of how easily he signs one handed. It’s a skill he’s yet to master. 

I TRY NOT TO QUESTION GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME, Michael finishes, using his non-signing hand to brush his fingers against Alex’s cheek. Alex leans into the touch, turning his head just enough to kiss Michael’s palm.

Alex gets where Michael is coming from. He probably shouldn’t question good things either, because they are so few and far between for him. But there’s just something about their connection that pulls at him, telling him that there’s something there. That there’s a puzzle piece missing. And Alex has never done well with mysteries. 

YOU DON’T THINK IT’S WEIRD? he asks. I MEAN, I’VE DONE A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOR ALL THE DESCRIPTIONS OF LOVE THAT I CAN FIND, NOBODY REALLY TALKS ABOUT THE ENERGY...

Michael drops his hands to his sides and shifts awkwardly, looking away. His face is always so expressive and Alex watches as it flickers through several conflicting emotions — scared, angry, hopeful, hurt. When he finally looks back at Alex, he’s settled on a cocky smirk that always screams of a confidence that he knows Michael doesn’t really possess. 

IT’S BECAUSE WE’RE SPECIAL BABE, he signs. 

Alex is confused. He’s about to say something, but Michael leans in and begins kissing Alex’s neck. He licks at the overly sensitive spot just under his jaw and Alex allows himself to be momentarily distracted. Michael is most certainly hiding something from him which is weird. They don’t keep secrets from each other. 

He pushes him away and sits up, determined to get distance so that he can focus on the conversation. He scoots over to sit on the tailgate, just far enough that the energy that always surrounds them won’t convince Alex to continue with the heated makeout session that Michael is more than happy to distract him with. 

Michael moves to sit next to him, but Alex puts a hand out to stop him from sitting close enough to touch. A hurt look crosses Michael’s face, but he resigns himself to his fate and sits on the other side of the truck. 

WHAT AREN’T YOU TELLING ME? he asks. 

Michael’s shoulders slump and the electricity in the air intensifies, causing the hair on his arms to stand on end. Alex looks out at the desert and has to blink repeatedly when it looks like the ground is trembling. Little pieces of sand jump, despite there not being a breeze today. 

He looks over to Michael, who runs his hands through his hair several times, then rubs his face, then the back of his neck, unable to sit still. He is visibly distressed, which causes a knot to form in Alex’s stomach. No matter how anxious he is to figure out what Michael is keeping from him, he never wants to be the cause of whatever  _ this _ is. 

Alex scoots over so that he’s still sitting next to Michael, touching from ankle all the way to shoulder. When he reaches out to place a hand on his thigh, he ignores the static shock it causes. Michael chances a glance at him and Alex’s heart breaks when he notices the unshed tears in his eyes. Whatever is going on, it’s serious. 

They’ve told each other everything with far less fanfare. Their first meeting, Michael told Alex all about the religious freaks in charge of the group home that Michael ran away from. It hadn’t taken Alex more than a week to hand over detailed descriptions of his dad’s violence without fear. And in turn, Alex knows every detail Michael can remember about his time in Albuquerque and Santa Fe. Alex even knows that Isobel and Max are Michael’s siblings. That there’s a sealed file recounting how the three of them had been found wandering the desert, naked and alone, as kids. 

So Alex is honestly a bit scared to figure out what on Earth could have Michael this anxious when they’ve already seen so many ugly parts of each other and it hasn’t changed anything for them. 

WHATEVER IT IS, YOU CAN TELL ME, Alex assures him. IT’S JUST ME. 

Michael raises his hands to say something, but his hands are shaking. He squeezes them into fists and opens them to try again, but his hands are still trembling. He tries again and again, but he can’t bring himself to sign whatever it is. Finally, after about the eighth time, Alex reaches out to grab Michael’s hands, resting his forehead against Michael’s. 

The energy wraps around them like a warm hug. It sinks beneath Alex’s skin and makes its way towards his heart. He can tell that it’s having the same effect on Michael as well. He takes several deep breaths before Michael is able to match his breathing, then Alex lets go of his hands and Michael tries again. This time, he’s more steady. 

I’M DIFFERENT, Michael signs. I’M NOT LIKE YOU. 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? he asks. He already knows that Michael is Deaf, that can’t be what he’s talking about. 

I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, Michael signs, his chest rising and falling faster. He’s starting to hyperventilate again. Alex is less worried about the actual secret that Michael is hiding and more worried about the obvious weight that it’s placing on him. 

WHATEVER IT IS, IT’S OKAY, he tries to reassure him. WHATEVER IT IS, I LOVE YOU. EVERY PIECE OF YOU. 

And Alex means that. He might have questions about this bond they share, but he doesn’t question Michael. He knows that they are meant to be together, he can feel that in his bones. Alex has never felt more safe or loved than he does when he’s in his arms. No matter what he tells him, Alex will find a way to deal with it. They’ll deal with it together. That’s how love works. 

Michael shakes his head. The energy around them practically crackles. His heart tugs him closer to Michael and there’s a distress in the air that isn’t Alex’s own. 

YOU CAN’T KNOW THAT, Michael signs. 

Alex stands up and moves so that he’s standing between Michael’s legs. He pulls on his hips until they are touching. Once they are, the air around them settles a bit. But still, Michael bites his lip nervously. Alex reaches out to rest Michael’s hand against his own heart. He gives Alex a confused look, but Alex simply returns it with a pointed one. They stand like that for a full minute, until Michael finally closes his eyes and the tension leaves his body completely. 

I’M AN ALIEN, he signs. 

Alex takes a moment to process. He’s positive that he’s misinterpreted at first. After all, as good as he has gotten at sign language, they still experience communication breakdowns often. But the way Michael is looking at him, Alex knows that he’d understood correctly. 

And that sends Alex’s brain into a tailspin. 

SO YOU’RE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY? YOU’RE HERE ILLEGALLY? he signs slowly, but even as he says it, he knows that’s not the case. 

Michael doesn’t answer him with words. Instead he looks up to the sky pointedly, staring for several moments before looking back at Alex. 

Alex takes several steps away from Michael, watching him with a careful eye, waiting for the punchline to the joke. 

Michael isn’t laughing through. He’s shifting in his seat and the tension in his body returns the further Alex moves away from him. Alex can’t tell which of them have lost their mind — Michael for thinking he comes from outer space or Alex for believing him. 

PLEASE SAY SOMETHING. Apart from his hands, Michael holds his body impossibly still. 

Alex doesn’t know what to say, but he knows he has to come up with something. Of all the things Michael could have told him, this is the last thing he ever expected. 

WHEN THEY FOUND YOU IN THE DESERT? It’s not even a properly formed question, but it’s all Alex’s struggling mind can come up with right now. 

WE WOKE UP IN PODS IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OLD TURQUOISE MINE, ALONE, Michael explains. 

Alex’s mind doesn’t stop on the word pod like it probably should. Instead it’s the word alone that hits him. Alex knows what it is to be alone. He knows the feeling of being a kid without parents and only having your siblings to cling to. He never would have wished that for Michael. 

YOU WERE JUST LEFT? Alex asks, his eyes watering as he thinks of the fear and loneliness that must have brought. He takes several steps back towards Michael. 

WE’RE PRETTY SURE OUR FAMILY CRASHED HERE IN ‘47, he signs. 

1947… SO THAT WOULD MAKE YOU, WHAT? Alex does the math in his head quickly. SEVENTY? 

Michael cracks a smile and shakes his head in amusement. Alex hadn’t meant it as a joke, but he’ll take the win if Michael will keep smiling like that. 

WE WERE INCUBATING IN PODS, IT’S NOT LIKE I HAVE 78 YEARS OF MEMORIES OR ANYTHING, Michael explains. 

OKAY, is all Alex can think to sign. There’s an odd sense of deja vu coming over him, like he’s always known this about Michael even though he would certainly have remembered this conversation if they’d ever had it before.

OKAY? Michael signs with a laugh. OKAY? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? I JUST TOLD YOU THAT I INCUBATED IN A POD AND MY FAMILY ARRIVED IN THE ‘47 CRASH. THAT I’M AN ALIEN. FROM SPACE. AND THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? OKAY? 

Alex shrugs. He doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to say in this situation. He takes three steps back to Michael, who immediately rests his hands on Alex’s waist and pulls him close. The energy he’s grown used to swirls around them, and Alex realizes that the reason why nobody has ever talked about it before is probably because it’s extraterrestrial. Because Michael is extraterrestrial. 

Yeah. That’s going to take Alex a bit to get used to. He looks Michael over carefully, looking for any other signs that he’s not from this planet, but he doesn’t find any. He’s just… Michael. His Michael. 

WHEN I PICTURED WHAT ALIENS MIGHT LOOK LIKE, I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS, he signs, before reaching out and playing with a loose curl that’s fallen into Michael’s face. 

DID YOU PICTURE THIS? Michael signs. And without so much as flexing a muscle, the sleeping bag behind Michael flies up into the air. 

Alex’s jaw opens in shock. Even if he was capable of commenting, he wouldn’t remotely have the signs to be able to do so properly. 

STILL THINK YOU CAN LOVE EVERY PIECE OF ME? Michael asks with a self deprecating smile. 

Alex meets Michael’s eyes and is heartbroken to find the insecurity there. He wants to tell him that this changes nothing. That he still loves him and always will. That Michael has given him a safe place away from the nightmare at home and he will work to make sure he’s a safe space for Michael. But the words won’t come. Instead, he rests his hands on either side of Michael’s face gently. Michael’s eyes close and a tear falls down his face that Alex catches with his thumb. He then leans in and kisses him with all of the love and tenderness he can, praying it conveys to Michael just how much it means to him that he trusts Alex with this part of himself. 

It takes Michael a moment to respond to the kiss, but when he does, he does so with a loud gasp that Alex can only imagine is part shock and part relief. He can’t know for sure, he isn’t going to pull back and look. Michael’s legs move around his waist as his hands make their way into his hair and their kiss deepens. 

Alex doesn’t know how long the two of them stay there, locked in each other’s embrace. It doesn’t feel nearly long enough, but when he pulls back away, the sun has already set and the stars are on full display. He crawls into the bed of the truck and moves to lay down. Michael follows suit and tugs the blanket over them. 

Red Hot Chili Peppers is still playing through the speakers and Alex wonders how many times they’ve cycled through this CD without him noticing. He cuddles in close to rest his head against Michael’s shoulder as he stares up at the night sky. 

Perhaps he’s supposed to feel differently now that he knows the truth. Perhaps he should be scared or weirded out. Maybe his mind is supposed to be thinking about alien biology and if there is any danger in being intimate with someone of another species. That’s not where his head is at. Instead, he’s thinking about how hard it must be for Michael to carry such a heavy secret his entire life and how scary it must be to have to worry about what would happen if anyone were ever to find out. 

It makes him feel eternally grateful that Michael trusted him enough with this part of himself and he vows to make sure that he always lives up to that trust. 

THANK YOU, he signs, sitting up so that Michael can see him. 

FOR WHAT? Michael asks. 

FOR TELLING ME YOUR TRUTH, he signs. 

Michael shifts awkwardly, clearly still not entirely comfortable, but he smiles back. 

THANK YOU FOR NOT RUNNING WHEN I TOLD YOU, Michael signs, his eyes still nervous, like he’s saying the words but he’s still not convinced that running isn’t exactly what Alex is planning on doing. 

NEVER, he signs, laying back down. 

They cycle through the album another full time before Alex decides it’s time for a change. He sits up and grabs his backpack, moving to look for a new CD. 

YOU’RE LEAVING? Michael asks, eyes full of concern. Alex pulls out a Matchbox Twenty CD and shows it to him. 

JUST GIVING US A CHANGE OF PACE, he signs. 

Alex slides the back window of the truck open and leans into the cab to eject the CD and put the new one in. He gets a glance at the time and groans. At this point it’s late enough that he’ll be in serious trouble when he gets home and he really doesn’t want to deal with that. Nor does he think Michael will be able to sleep if he leaves now. He decides that he’ll spend the night here and worry about the consequences later. 

Once the smooth voice of Rob Thomas starts to play, Alex crawls back out of the cab. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and shuts it off preemptively, knowing that his dad will start calling him soon and the threats will start rolling in. He sets his backpack to the side and glances up at the sky for a second, eyes catching on his favorite constellation before he moves to lay back down. 

HOLY SHIT, he signs suddenly, eyes moving back up to the constellation. The five stars pulse against the black backdrop the desert sky provides. Realization dawns on him. 

WHAT’S WRONG? Michael asks, sitting up and looking on with concern. 

Alex’s eyes move back to the sky then towards Michael, recognizing for the first time that the pull he feels towards both is the same. It’s not some odd curiosity or fascination with the stars, it’s a small little electrical current tugging at his heart. It’s extraterrestrial. 

WHERE EXACTLY ARE YOU FROM? he asks. 

Michael shrugs. WE DON’T KNOW. 

I THINK I DO, Alex answers, unsure, but the longer he looks between Michael and the sky, the more able he is to identify the pull and recognize it as the same. 

WHAT? He looks at Alex, confused. 

WHEN I LOOK UP TO THE SKY, EVER SINCE I WAS A KID, I’VE ALWAYS FELT THIS PULL TOWARDS ONE SPECIFIC GROUP OF STARS. Alex grabs onto Michael’s hand and points it towards the constellation, helping Michael trace out the V. Michael stares for a while before slowly lowering his hand and looking back at Alex, still confused. 

I DON’T UNDERSTAND, Michael signs. 

I’M CONNECTED TO YOU WITH AN ENERGY, Alex explains. A PULL. THAT SAME PULL AS THE STARS. I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS SOME WEIRD MYSTICAL THING, BUT PERHAPS IT’S NOT MYSTICAL. PERHAPS IT’S ALIEN. 

Michael looks like he’s going to be sick, which doesn’t make any sense to Alex. WHAT’S WRONG? 

Michael’s eyes fill with tears even as he tries to brush it off like it’s nothing. 

MICHAEL? Alex asks, reaching out, concerned. 

IT’S NOT REAL, Michael signs.

WHAT’S NOT REAL? he asks. THE STARS? I’M TELLING YOU, I FEEL THAT SAME ENERGY THAT I FEEL COMING OFF OF YOU. I THINK THAT’S YOUR HOME. 

YOUR FEELINGS, Michael’s signs are so small that he nearly misses them. 

MY FEELINGS? he asks, unsure what his feelings have to do with a star. 

YOUR FEELINGS AREN’T REAL, THEY AREN’T YOURS, Michael signs angrily, moving out of the truck bed to pace in the desert. Alex crawls to the edge to sit on the tailgate and watch him. 

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? he asks, struggling to follow what’s going on. 

MAX EXPLAINED IT TO ME, THE ENERGY? HE CALLED IT IMPRINTING. Alex has to have Michael sign the last word several times before he can actually understand what it is that he’s trying to say. 

OKAY, SO WHY IS IMPRINTING A BAD THING? Alex asks, climbing out of the truck to move closer to Michael. The sign for imprint feels awkward and unnatural to him, which is odd. Nothing about anything Michael and he have ever done together has felt awkward or unnatural. 

BECAUSE NONE OF THIS IS REAL, Michael’s signs grow bigger and more out of control. 

Alex takes a step back like he’s been slapped. Michael’s words hurt him deeply. This thing they are doing, the two of them together? It’s the most real thing that Alex has ever had. For Michael to dismiss it hurts. 

I’M SORRY, I CAN’T DO THIS, Michael signs. 

Alex tries not to but he can’t help the tears that come to his eyes. 

CAN’T DO WHAT? His signs are shaky and stilted. His entire body is tense. He can feel his heart breaking. The energy that usually surrounds him and makes him feel whole is still there, but it’s muted. 

THIS, Michael signs. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THIS. 

Alex has to laugh at that. Michael is the only nice thing he has in his life. The rest of his world is a mess. What exactly does Michael think he’s letting him go for? What better life is waiting for him? 

I DON’T DESERVE TO BE WITH SOMEBODY WHO MAKES ME FEEL LOVED AND SAFE? he asks, hardly believing what’s happening. 

BUT YOU AREN’T FEELING THOSE THINGS, ALEX, Michael signs. I’M FEELING THEM AND YOU’RE FEELINGS ARE JUST… AN ECHO OR SOMETHING. 

Alex shakes his head. THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. If what he’s feeling is just some weird reflection of Michael’s feelings, wouldn’t they feel more foreign and unnatural to his body? 

WELL, THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING, Michael signs it, but Alex can see he doesn’t entirely believe it. It makes him wonder where this is even coming from? 

SAYS WHO? he asks. 

MAX, Michael signs. 

AND HOW DOES MAX KNOW THIS? Alex doesn’t know much about aliens, but he imagines it’s not like they can just hop over to the library and research their biology. And Michael told him that none of them have any memory of their lives before being found on the side of the road. 

BECAUSE HE IMPRINTED ON LIZ, he explains. 

It’s the world’s worst kept secret that Max Evans has been in love with Liz Ortecho since grade school. Alex has seen Max around Liz. If there’s some alien connection that forms with humans, he could see that. It’s why Max follows Liz around like a puppy. But Liz doesn’t follow Max back. If their emotions could echo or whatever Michael had called it, wouldn’t Liz be following Max right back? She doesn’t. So doesn’t that mean their powers don’t work like some superhuman love potion? 

CAN WE NOT CALL IT IMPRINTING? Alex signs. IT SOUNDS SUPER CREEPY AND MY FEELINGS ARE REAL, THEY AREN’T CREEPY. 

ISN’T IT? he signs. YOU’RE FEELINGS AREN’T YOUR OWN. THAT DOESN’T CREEP YOU OUT? 

STOP SAYING THAT MY FEELINGS AREN’T REAL, Alex signs, hitting each sign hard in his anger. His heart twists painfully at the implication. YOU AREN’T IN MY HEAD OR MY HEART. YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME HOW I FEEL OR WHAT’S REAL. 

Michael runs his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated as his eyes stay trained on the ground. He’s clearly avoiding looking at him, which makes it incredibly difficult to sign. Alex waits, and eventually Michael looks back up at him. He can see the fear in his eyes, but he also sees the hope, too. He doesn’t want to believe Max. He wants to believe Alex. Alex just has to convince him that he wants this. That he wants  _ them _ . 

HOW DID MAX FIGURE OUT THIS IMPRINTING THING? HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING? Alex asks, curious. If he can understand where the theory stems from, he will have an easier time dismantling it. Middle school debate club was good for something, at least. 

I DON’T KNOW. Michael shrugs. HE SAID HE RESEARCHED IT AND THAT’S THE CLOSEST THING HE COULD FIND TO WHAT’S HAPPENING. 

The fact that Michael Guerin, lover of all things science, is taking Max Evans word for this, is laughable. Max barely passed biology class. At what point did he become an expert in anything science related? 

HE LOOKED AT THE WAY THAT ALIENS EXPRESS LOVE THROUGH ENERGY AND THE CLOSEST THING HE COULD FIND WAS WHAT BABY BIRDS DO WITH THEIR MOTHERS? Alex signs, and honestly, the more he thinks about it, the more irrational Michael’s entire argument feels. Alex isn’t some baby duck here. 

IT’S THE CLOSEST THING HE COULD FIND, Michael argues. 

THE CLOSEST THING HE COULD FIND ON THIS PLANET, Alex signs carefully, waiting for Michael to see how incredibly silly this entire thing is. 

YES, he signs, clearly still frustrated enough to not be thinking rationally. Alex tries not to laugh at his expense. 

YOU’RE NOT FROM THIS PLANET, he reminds him. 

YEAH, THANKS, I KNOW, Michael signs. 

The air around them is thick with energy and Alex can now see how the shaking dirt around them isn’t the wind, it’s Michael and his powers. He reaches out to place his hands on his tense shoulders. Michael looks like he wants to run, but Alex holds his gaze as he rubs his shoulders, hoping that he can provide Michael with the same comfort and safety that he always provides Alex when he’s worked up. 

It takes a minute, but eventually Michael’s shoulders relax enough that Alex no longer fears he’s either going to run away or cause some explosion with his powers. 

YOU AREN’T FROM THIS PLANET, SO WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT WHAT HAPPENS TO BIRDS ON THIS PLANET IS EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS TO ALIENS? Alex asks carefully. 

I — Michael looks like he’s about to start arguing with him again when suddenly his shoulders deflate and his anger turns to curiosity. I DON’T KNOW. 

DO YOU TRUST ME? Alex asks. 

Michael nods. 

OKAY, THEN BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY FEELINGS ARE MY OWN. I LOVE YOU AND THAT’S NOT SOME WEIRD ECHO, he signs. 

Michael lets out the softest gasp as his eyes grow wide and a slow smile starts to grow.

YOU LOVE ME? he signs, eyes full of wonder and hope. The connection returns in full force, like the volume had just been turned up to ten. 

Alex is confused for a moment before he realizes what he’s just said. He hadn’t meant to say it so soon. He’d been worried about Michael’s reaction, but if the thousand watt smile he’s sporting is any indication, that worry had been for not. 

YEAH, I LOVE YOU, MICHAEL, he signs. 

Michael’s eyes water and Alex holds his breath, waiting for him to say something. 

I LOVE YOU, TOO, he finally signs and Alex finds that his own eyes are watering. 

He can’t remember the last time somebody said those words to him. He certainly can’t remember the last time somebody said those words to him and really meant them. 

********

**June 2018**

Michael lays in bed next to Alex as they both catch their breath after giving each other the third orgasm of the night. They are both utterly spent, but completely satisfied, which is probably Michael’s favorite feeling. He loves Alex most post-orgasm, when he’s all loose and soft and completely present. He would never admit this to anyone, but he may actually enjoy cuddling with Alex after sex more than he does the sex itself. 

He’s laying with his head on Alex’s shoulder, running his hands up and down his bare stomach, watching the way the muscles tighten at the touch and feeling the tiniest sparks of electricity. They aren’t strong, not bright enough to see, but both of them can feel it and that’s what matters. It’s been nearly a year since he was last able to touch Alex like this and he’s missed it. He’s fortunate that Alex has figured out a way for them to stay in contact daily without fear of Jesse finding out, but seeing Alex over a screen doesn’t give either of them the connection their bond demands. 

YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL, Michael signs to him and Alex blushes while rolling his eyes. 

YOU’RE BIAS, he responds back one handed, his other hand is currently playing with Michael’s hair. 

IMPOSSIBLE, Michael signs. 

He allows his hand to travel up over Alex’s heart and rests it there for a minute, letting his energy naturally leave his body and fill Alex’s, hoping that it heals any old wounds that his time away has created. Alex doesn’t talk a lot about his time at war, but he doesn’t have to give Michael all the details. Michael sees the strain it puts on Alex in every video chat. He waits until Alex’s eyes fall closed and a soft smile forms before he moves. 

First, he allows his hand to move up to caress Alex’s cheek. Once Alex places a kiss to his palm, his hand travels downward, rubbing at his strong shoulder and feeling the new muscle there. He then explores Alex’s stomach once more as the energy between them builds. If Michael looks closely enough, he can see the faintest spark of gold between them. He settles his hand on his hip as Alex turns his head to place several kisses to Michael’s jaw. 

Michael closes his eyes and moans as Alex licks at his pulse point. His hand trails to Alex’s thigh, massaging the muscle there, sore from a long day on his feet. Alex tenses slightly and Michael is under no false pretenses as to why. He opens his eyes and pulls away from Alex to look him in the eyes. 

YOU ARE PERFECT, he signs. When Alex clearly doesn’t believe him, Michael decides to show him. 

He kisses his way down Alex’s chest and smirks at the slight vibration he feels coming from Alex. Michael has been with Alex long enough to distinguish all of the sounds he makes, even if he can only feel them. He’s whining. Alex doesn’t have to worry, Michael is as oversensitive right now as he’s sure Alex is. He’s not going down on him. Not again. He’s got other plans. 

He licks at Alex’s abs before moving to Alex’s hip and licking at the crease there. Alex reaches out to run his hands through his hair and tries to redirect him off of him. He glances up and sees Alex’s face a mixture of pleasure and pain. He takes pity on him and moves downward so that he can kiss the scars below his knee where the amputation had happened. He can feel how tense Alex’s body is. He hates it. He hates how insecure Alex is. 

IT’S JUST ME, Michael signs. 

He moves back on the bed so that both of his hands can massage Alex’s thigh. Alex bites his lip and doesn’t relax his body but Michael doesn’t stop. He continues to massage his thigh and watch Alex, occasionally leaning over to place a kiss to the scars there. Alex’s eyes water as he watches Michael, hardly breathing. Michael doesn’t say anything although he’s desperate to. He wants to remind him of how loved he is. How perfect he is. But Alex needs a minute and Michael can give him that. 

YOU REALLY DON’T MIND? Alex asks what must be at least five minutes later. 

Michael shakes his head and places one last kiss to Alex’s scar before moving back up the bed. He doesn’t say what he’s thinking. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment with something so heavy. But the reality is that Michael could give a damn about the leg. He spent nearly a month thinking that Alex had died. When he hadn’t heard from Alex for 28 days, he’d been convinced that he’d been killed in action. He’d tried everything he could to get a hold of Alex, he’d even risked showing up on Jesse’s radar by calling the Air Force looking for an update. He could care less that Alex lost his leg because he’d been convinced that he’d lost  _ Alex _ . So yeah, he doesn’t care how Alex came back to him, he’s just glad he did. 

I LOVE YOU, Michael signs, resting his head on the pillow beside Alex, leaving them plenty of room to sign between them. I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HOME. 

I LOVE YOU, TOO, he signs, but the tension in his body returns and Michael can already tell that Alex is about to burst their happy little bubble based on the reluctant look he gives him. Michael readies himself as Alex signs, AND I DON’T WANT TO RUIN THE MOMENT, BUT WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY CONTRACT. 

Less than twenty-four hours back. Less than twenty-four hours back and only a few hours of that together. That’s all they’d been allowed. He groans and shakes his head. 

CAN’T WE JUST HAVE A NIGHT TOGETHER FIRST? he argues. 

The real world invades their bubble enough. He just wants a little bit more time with Alex. He needs it. He’s been falling apart at the seams for months and he just needs a little bit more time to heal before it’s all taken away from him again. 

Alex shifts beside him uncomfortably, giving him a sad look. 

I’M CLAIMING SANCTUARY, Michael signs. It’s what they say to each other when they need refuge from the outside world. 

Alex looks pained and Michael sits up, angry, moving further away from Alex as he does so. Alex reaches out for him but Michael doesn’t move any closer. 

I WISH WE COULD WAIT, Alex signs and Michael can see how much he means it, but he doesn’t care. IF I DON’T SIGN, THEY WILL SHIP ME OUT TOMORROW AT NOON. WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WE WANT TO DO. __

So this is happening. 

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’VE ALREADY FIGURED OUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO. WHY DO WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT? he signs, bitterly. 

THAT’S NOT FAIR, Alex signs, sitting up. YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER DECIDE ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU. 

SO IF I TOLD YOU NOT TO RE-UP YOU WOULDN’T DO IT? he asks, knowingly. When Alex doesn’t respond right away he laughs, though nothing about this is funny. 

BABE — he signs . 

NO, Michael signs, standing up from the bed and grabbing his boxers. He can’t do this right now. Today has been shitty enough, he can’t sit here and listen to Alex talk about going back in when he hasn’t even been home for 24 hours. 

Alex moves quickly and grabs Michael’s wrist before he can move too far away from the bed to reach. 

Michael yanks his hand out of Alex’s grip and glares at him. Alex knows how much he hates it when people do that to him. It’s basically like him slapping his hand over a hearing person’s mouth. It’s one thing to grab his hand in a loving touch or even to hold his wrist down when they are making love but to do so in an argument is unacceptable. It denies him the ability to communicate freely. 

SORRY, Alex signs. I JUST, PLEASE DON’T WALK AWAY FROM THIS. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. 

Michael doesn’t really care about what they need to do right now. He doesn’t care about being mature. They are always mature. They always do the right thing. He just needs one goddamn day where he can be selfish and just take what he needs for a change. 

NO, he signs firmly. I NEED MY BOYFRIEND TO BE HERE, NOT MASTER SERGEANT MANES. 

Alex leans back like he’s been slapped. MICHAEL—

YOU DON’T GET IT, he cuts him off. Now that he’s started, he can’t stop himself. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT’S BEEN LIKE HERE WITHOUT YOU. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO THINK YOU’D DIED. AND YOU SURE AS HELL DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING SCARED I’VE BEEN SINCE FINDING OUT ABOUT LIZ. 

Michael is a pusher. He pushes when he feels backed into a corner. Always has. But the thing is, Alex pushes right back. 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I DON’T UNDERSTAND? ME? SERIOUSLY? Alex glares at him. YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I’VE BEEN GOING THROUGH THESE PAST FEW MONTHS? YOU THINK I WANT THIS? YOU THINK I DON’T ALSO NEED TO LAY HERE IN BED WITH YOU FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS?  __

Maybe that’s fair. Maybe if Michael wasn’t in such a bad mood and so worked up, he could see how incredibly insensitive his comment was. Of anyone in the world, Alex gets it. If anything, he’s been the one not just separated from his soulmate but living in a war zone. He’s been the one stuck in lonely hospital rooms recovering from a life threatening injury far from home.

And yet, despite knowing that Alex doesn’t deserve it, all Michael can sign back is, IF YOU UNDERSTOOD, YOU WOULDN’T EVEN CONSIDER GOING BACK IN. 

Michael isn’t close enough to feel the vibrations, but he can see Alex laugh and knows it’s harsh and unforgiving. 

MAYBE YOU’VE LOST ALL COMMON SENSE WHEN YOU STARTED DROWNING YOURSELF IN BOURBON EVERY NIGHT, BUT HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK THIS ENDS? Alex signs. YOU’RE THE ONE WITH A FUCKING DOCTORATE. CERTIFIABLE GENIUS AND ALL. TELL ME HOW THE HELL YOU THINK THIS ENDS WITH ME GETTING OUT OF THE MILITARY? 

Michael can’t sit here and listen to this. He storms out of the room. He uses his powers to throw the front door open and storms out of the cabin as well. Once he’s outside, he throws out a burst of angry power, causing both of their cars to rise up a few inches before falling back down. 

_ Fuck _ !  he screams out into the ether, hoping like hell that it reaches all the way out to Max. Sure, Max isn’t to blame for Alex thinking about re-enlisting, but he’s sure as hell to blame for creating an environment of fear. He’s to blame for healing Liz and then turning around and telling her the truth. And he’s pretty fucking positive that the threat of them being found out after all of these years is at least part of the reason why Alex is so adamant about staying in another four years. 

He screams out into their connection several more times before the anger finally leaves him and all he’s left with is a deep fear, pain, and loneliness. 

He eventually falls to his knees as all of his energy leaves his body. That’s when he feels Alex’s hand on his shoulder.

I’M SORRY, Alex signs when he looks up at him. 

Michael shakes his head. I’M SORRY. I WAS AN ASSHOLE. I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT THIS EITHER. 

I WANT TO DO WHATEVER IS GOING TO KEEP YOU SAFE, he signs. 

Michael looks down at Alex’s missing leg. He’s standing there on crutches. He hadn’t bothered to put the prosthetic back on. When he looks back up at Alex, his vision is blurred. He tries to hold back tears. 

AT WHAT COST? he asks. 

Alex reaches out his hand and beckons Michael to stand up. Michael, knowing he’s already been enough of an asshole for the day, complies. He’s not about to make Alex try and kneel beside him while on crutches. 

I WOULD GO TO WAR A THOUSAND TIMES IF IT MEANT KEEPING YOU SAFE, Alex signs, placing his hand against Michael’s heart. 

THAT’S THE PROBLEM, he signs. I WOULD TURN MYSELF OVER TO PROJECT SHEPARD AND DIE A THOUSAND TIMES TO KEEP YOU FROM EVER HAVING TO ENLIST IN THE FIRST PLACE. 

DON’T YOU DARE, Alex signs, horrified. It’s not the first time that Michael has offered to turn himself in to end this all, but every time Alex looks as alarmed as he does now. YOU KNOW WHY YOU CAN’T DO THAT. 

He does. If he turned himself into Jesse Manes and Project Shepard, it wouldn’t just be him that he’s turning in. Jesse would find out about Max and Isobel and would take them as well. He’d likely hold Alex captive too, just to be able to experiment on the bond. It wouldn’t be the first time that Jesse has taken Alex to get to him. Protecting his siblings and Alex is the only reason he’s never confronted Jesse head on. 

PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T DO THAT, NOT FOR ME, NOT EVER, Alex signs. 

Michael nods in agreement. 

Alex pulls him into a hug. Michael’s arms move around Alex’s waist and he holds him tight, allowing their energy to flow around them, wrapping them in a cocoon of safety. He takes several steadying breaths, allowing his lungs to fill with air for what feels like the first time since Alex left for his last tour. The energy flows through his veins, filling him with a love that’s been lacking for nearly a year. Alex holds him close and kisses the side of his neck as his heart stitches itself back together. It takes a long time. They stand out there like that for close to twenty minutes before Michael finally feels stable enough to pull away. 

He makes sure that Alex is steady on his crutches before he lets go so that he can sign. 

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THEY WON’T SEND YOU BACK THIS TIME? HOW CAN YOU TRUST THEM? he asks, resigning himself to the fact that Alex is going to do this. He hates it. He hates the military with a fiery passion, but he knows Alex and he won’t be able to sleep at night if he’s not actively fighting against his dad. Michael can’t take that from him, even if he wishes he could. 

I’M NOT CLEARED FOR COMBAT, Alex signs. AND I KNOW THEY ARE ONLY OFFERING ME THIS PROMOTION BECAUSE MY DAD IS UP TO SOMETHING. HE’S GOING TO WANT ME CLOSE BY. 

I DON’T LIKE THIS, he signs. I DON’T WANT YOU WORKING WITH HIM EVERY DAY. THAT ISN’T GOOD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. 

I’M GOING TO BE COMING HOME TO YOU EVERY DAY, THAT’S THE BEST THING FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH, Alex explains. IT’S THE BEST THING FOR BOTH OF US. 

Alex gives him a pointed look and Michael looks down at the ground in shame. He hasn’t forgotten Alex’s comment about him drowning himself in bourbon. Max had been on his case about how much he’s been drinking recently, telling him that Alex wouldn’t approve. It’s not that Michael thought that he would love it, he was just hoping that Alex wouldn’t notice. 

I NEED TO DO THIS FOR US, Alex says carefully, clearly not wanting to start another fight. 

Michael nods. He doesn’t like this plan, but what can he do? This is the life they signed up for when they agreed to stay together after everything that happened with Alex and Project Shepard senior year. 

SO YOU’RE STAYING? he asks, needing to hear it one more time before he can believe it. 

I’M NOT LEAVING, Alex signs with a soft smile. 

And there’s the silver lining he’s been looking for this shitty, shitty day. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter specifically was written with “Saturn” by Sleeping At Last on repeat. Both the visual and auditory input were perfect inspiration for this chapter. 
> 
> Special shout out to the 18+ Discord. There's a section of this where Malex find an explanation of the bond in "Antarian" and I was struggling to find a way to write it that sounded "Antarian" enough. They came through with the suggestion of using Google Translate through multiple languages before getting back to English. It was perfect (see end notes for the translation).

**June 2008**

The Monday after Alex finds out that Michael is an alien, Michael grabs him on their way out of school and tells him that he wants to show him something and Alex goes willingly. He always goes willingly. Anywhere Michael wants to take him.

They drive out into the desert and at first Alex assumes they are going to Foster Ranch, which Alex is starting to call their “spot.” But right about the time that Michael usually turns right, he continues on straight and Alex grows curious, but remains quiet. He turns up the volume as “Hands Down” starts playing on the CD he made for Michael. He’ll only ever feel the vibrations and he won’t ever hear the lyrics, but Alex had still taken far too long picking out the perfect songs. All of which had a strong enough beat for Michael to feel properly, but also had just the right words to convey all the emotions he hasn’t been able to express with words yet. 

If his friendship with Rosa has taught him anything, it’s that music can give voice to the thing inside of you that’s too scared to speak. 

They drive for a solid thirty minutes before they finally turn off the main road and into the open desert and Alex’s curiosity increases. After all, Alex is pretty sure that an open stretch of sand here is the same as an open stretch of sand anywhere, but Michael would surely disagree if he said as much. Approximately five minutes later, they pop onto an old service road and Alex has to wonder what it ever connected to in the first place. 

They are out by the old turquoise mines. Alex hasn’t spent much time out here, but his classmates do. It’s a popular spot to come and get drunk or high. He knows because Rosa spends most of her time out here. He’s pretty sure Michael isn’t bringing him out here to get wasted. And he knows that his classmates don’t really venture this far out. There’s plenty of abandoned mines by the main highway without heading off the main drag and potentially getting lost. 

Another few minutes later and Michael is parking his truck at the foot of a hill. Alex can see the opening of an old mine that has been boarded up. There’s a tugging at his heart, a familiarity to it. His soul recognizes this place, but he knows for sure he’s never been here before. 

Alex looks over at Michael in question and he just smiles. COME ON. 

They step out of the truck and Michael takes his hand as they walk uphill towards the boarded up mine. Alex can feel Michael’s energy surrounding him like he always can, but there’s an older energy in the air as well. It takes him a minute to identify it, but he realizes it’s also Michael, just… different. Younger maybe? The energy is more chaotic. Less settled. 

THIS IS WHERE YOU WERE, Alex signs. It’s not a question. He can feel the truth vibrating through him all the way to his bones. 

THIS IS WHERE WE WOKE UP, Michael tells him, guiding him. It’s unnecessary. Alex’s body already knows the way. It’s pushing and pulling at him. He’s used to a normal amount of pull towards Michael, but this is greater. It feels more desperate somehow. It’s not bad. It’s not scary. Just… loud. Insistent. 

Michael uses his telekinesis to move the wood away from the entryway and Alex watches in awe. He still hasn’t fully processed the fact that his boyfriend is a jedi. He’s not sure that he ever will. But at the end of the day, he’s still Michael and that’s what’s important to Alex. 

It’s dark as they step into the tunnel. The sunlight can only travel so far. Michael doesn’t seem phased, like he’s walked this path so many times he could do it blindfolded. Alex’s body seems in agreement. But comfortable as he might feel, he’s heard enough lectures in his day about the dangers of playing in abandoned mines to be nervous. He digs around in his pocket and pulls out his keys and uses the small flashlight to light their way. 

They walk down a narrow path and he thinks about how this sounds like it could be the opening of one of those D-list horror movies that Maria loves. Boy meets boy. Boy knows boy for two weeks. Boy lets boy pull him into an abandoned mine where he’s chopped up in pieces and all they ever find of him is a toe or some equally creepy shit. 

He snorts, thinking about how Rosa would cuss him out in Spanish if he told her where he is right now. You know, if she was sober enough to actually pay any attention. Michael doesn’t hear him though. He wouldn’t. Alex shines the light on the walls, unsure what he’s expecting really. Some kind of alien hieroglyphics? Green slime? Solid ice like some fortress of solitude? All he sees is rock, plain, nothing extraterrestrial about it, rock. 

Still, he knows that they are somewhere important and getting closer. His body is vibrating with increasing energy with every step. Then he notices it. The warm glow coming from a distance, lighting their path. It glows brighter the closer they get and Alex eventually pockets his keys and allows the odd pink light to brighten their path. A moment or two later, the narrow walls pan outwards and they step into an open cavern. 

Michael pauses, shifting on his feet nervously, but Alex pushes past. His eyes go straight to the three pods, emitting a soft pink light. There’s an energy pulsing there, strong. It’s calling to him. His feet move closer, unconsciously until he’s standing right in front of the one in the center. 

THIS WAS YOURS, he signs. 

Again, it’s not a question. He knows the answer. He knows this place. Or it knows him? Alex doesn’t know how to describe it. It’s like the words for what’s happening don’t exist in their language. He wonders what Michael’s people call it? 

Alex reaches out and he can see Michael moving to stop him, but Alex’s fingers graze the surface before Michael reaches him. Instantly, a tidal wave of energy hits, surrounding, drowning. 

The world alights. Hundreds, no _thousands_ of glowing gold strings appear before him. A giant, interconnected spiderweb. It has a hypnotic beauty to it. Like Christmas lights in the dead of night. Like sparklers on the Fourth of July. 

Mesmerized, he reaches out with his free hand to pull at one. The moment his hand wraps around it, his eyes slam shut and he can see Michael. He’s younger, middle school perhaps? He’s kneeling in front of a familiar mural of the night sky and a crashed spaceship. His hands are touching the wall, tracing the words, ‘We’re all broken without the pieces to get home.’ There are tears in his eyes. 

Alex can’t stand it. His heart pulls and he tries to reach out to comfort him, but his legs won’t move. He’s stuck. Unwilling to accept that, he pulls on the string, hoping to tug Michael closer. Instead, the world blurs around him and races forward until he’s staring at a memory of himself, thirteen and angsty as all get out. He’s blasting music so loud from his headphones that Alex can hear the chorus to “Way Away” even from a distance. Angsty Alex has a can of spray paint in his hand and is in the process of painting the mural that Michael had just been crying in front of. The mural he hadn’t planned on painting. The imagery coming to him, seemingly out of nowhere. 

He drops the string as if it burns and moves his hand away from the pod as he tries to process what is going on. The light disappears, but the energy remains. Alex looks up at Michael, eyes wide. That’s what he’s been feeling. The gold strings. He just hasn’t been able to see them. 

Michael is watching him in concern. ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 

Alex gives him a curious look. Doesn’t he know? YOU’VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE? 

SEEN WHAT? he asks, a mixture of annoyed and worried. 

It doesn’t make any sense. Michael has to have touched the pod before. He literally came from it. 

WHEN YOU TOUCH IT, YOU DON’T SEE THE STRINGS? he asks. 

STRINGS? Michael looks at him like he’s losing his mind. ALEX, YOU COMPLETELY SPACED OUT THERE FOR A MINUTE. IT WAS KIND OF SCARY. YOUR EYES GLAZED OVER AND YOU WERE UNRESPONSIVE. 

Alex shakes his head with a smile. 

IT’S NOT SCARY, IT’S… he trails off, not knowing how to describe it. 

He reaches out to touch the pod again, searching for the right words as he watches the strands light up. They look less like the electricity he’d imagined, more like a thread. But strong, sturdy. Unbreakable. More like a medal cable. Golden, glowing medal cables. He grabs onto another one and tugs on it. 

Michael is little. He has to be in second grade or so. And he’s terrified. Alex reads the fear on his face as easily as he feels it in his heart. Michael is pale and thinner than he has any right to be. Perhaps most infuriating of all, he has a large, noticeable bruise on his face. That’s the extent of the damage that he can access, though, because Michael is running too fast. He’s darting around corners and squeezing between impossibly small holes in fences. All the while, he’s being chased by police officers. 

Alex can’t imagine what a child as young as Michael could possibly do for the police to be chasing after them, and he certainly can’t imagine Michael doing anything remotely criminal. He wants to step in and help. He wants to distract the police. Or pull Michael behind him. Help him find a safe place to hide. But again, he can’t move. He’s not meant to be a participant in these moments, just a witness. 

He pulls on the string and has to steady himself as the world spins and rushes past at a nauseating speed. When it stops, Alex knows exactly where he is. He remembers this moment well despite his young age. Abuse will do that to a kid. Some kids are blessed with the ability to repress. Alex remembers every moment of his awful childhood in vivid technicolor. 

He’s standing in the parking lot of the drive-in. Greg has his hand in a vice grip, trying to convince him to come back to the truck with the rest of his brothers. Their dad is on stage giving some speech about the importance of supporting veterans or something. That isn’t the important part. Greg thinks Alex is trying to run away, but he doesn’t understand. Alex is running, sure. But he’s not running away from anything. He’s running towards something. Something calling out to him. 

Michael, Alex realizes. Alex had been trying to run towards Michael. 

Alex drops his hands and the memory in front of him dissolves and Michael is looking at him carefully like it’s taking everything in him to keep it together and not lose his patience. 

He’s not seeing it, Alex realizes. He starts to move his hands, intent on trying to bring Michael in with him, but Michael grabs his wrist, halting his motion. 

STOP, he signs with one hand, not letting go of Alex. OKAY? PLEASE. STOP. 

Alex shakes his head. He gently pulls his hands out of Michael’s grip so that he can sign, but Michael keeps his hands close, ready to jump in and stop him should he try and touch the pod again. 

I WANT TO TRY AND SHOW YOU WHAT I’M SEEING, he signs. IT’S NOT BAD. 

YOU ARE A HUMAN, Michael signs. AND THIS IS ALIEN. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT COULD HAPPEN. NEITHER OF US DO. 

Alex supposes, if he were thinking with his head, Michael may have a point. But he doesn’t know how to explain to Michael that they can trust this. That Alex has been feeling this energy since he was a child, he just never had a label for it before. They don’t need to be afraid anymore. 

Alex reaches out and places Michael’s hand against his heart. Michael’s hand fists in his shirt and Alex understands the tension, but he needs him to understand that it’s not necessary. 

WHEN WE FIRST TOUCHED AND WE FELT THAT ENERGY BETWEEN US, WERE YOU SCARED? Alex asks him. 

Michael shakes his head. I FELT LIKE A I COULD BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. 

Alex gives him a soft smile, because that’s exactly how he felt too. IT FELT SAFE. 

Michael nods. 

THIS IS THAT, he signs, pointing at the pod. I KNOW IT. I FEEL IT. 

Michael’s eyes water and his breathing grows stilted. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. I’VE TOUCHED IT A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE. I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING BEFORE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHY… WHY IS THIS… I DON’T UNDERSTAND. 

Alex reaches up to gently take Michael’s hands in his own. He can only shrug. He doesn’t understand it either. But there is a tugging at his heart that tells him he’s about to. 

CAN I TRY AND SHOW YOU? Alex asks. 

Michael agrees. 

Holding hands, Alex reaches out and they touch the pod together and the lights come back up. This time, Michael looks around in wide eyed awe. Alex can see every thought and calculation that crosses his brain in the resulting reaction. He feels each time his body tenses, then relaxes. Sees each furrow of the eyebrows followed by a relieved smile. Michael’s eyes roam the cave, counting every string before his eyes find Alex’s again. It seems to ground him.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN? he asks. 

Alex reaches out to pull on another string and Michael does the same. 

They are standing outside of the Crashdown. Michael, the younger one, is eyeing two bicycles leaned against the side of the building. He’s tense, clearly nervous. 

_This is the first time I willingly came to Max and Isobel,_ Michael says and Alex nearly drops the string in shock at the sound of Michael’s voice in his head. His eyes dart towards Michael’s, the memory in front of them unimportant in the light of this new discovery. 

_What?_ Michael asks and his own eyes grow wide in surprise. _Wait, can you hear me?_

 _I don’t understand,_ Alex says. And if he doesn’t understand how he can hear Michael’s voice in his head, he certainly doesn’t understand how he communicates telepathically back. 

_This is how I talk with Max and Isobel. It’s how we’ve talked since we were kids,_ Michael explains. _Nobody else has ever heard me before. Nobody human._

God, his voice is stunning, just like every other part of him. 

_Wait, is this why Max and Isobel don’t know sign language?_ Alex asks. He’s always wondered about it but never was sure it was appropriate to ask. He’d just assumed what most of the world assumes — That Michael is exceptionally good at lip reading. 

_Alex, my siblings are really the last of my concerns,_ he says with a shaky laugh that Alex can actually hear in his head. It brings tears to both of their eyes. _You can hear me._

A bell chimes and Alex looks over to see Max and Isobel step out of the Crashdown, smiling wide. 

“You came!” Max says, and Alex can hear it said both telepathically and aloud. 

The younger Michael takes several steps backward, shaking his head. _I’m not here for you._

Michael, Alex’s Michael, squeezes his hand harder. He sneaks a glance at his Michael. His eyes are glued to the younger versions of himself and his siblings. 

_I was so scared to let them in,_ his Michael explains as the three kids argue. _I’d been alone for years. The connection we all shared had been severed and even though I could feel it then, I didn’t want to trust it._

 _What made you give in?_ Alex asks. 

As soon as he says it, the string moves under their fingers the tiniest bit, just a few feet to the right. And then Alex steps out of the Crashdown with Rosa. They are both singing and laughing, not paying any attention to the tension around them. His younger sixth grade self doesn’t notice Michael when he walks past him, but Alex certainly does. And if the way that Michael is squeezing his hand hard enough to bruise is any indication, he does as well. 

The moment Alex walks past Michael a wave of gold moves between them and both of their bodies visibly relax. 

That’s it. That’s all that happens. Younger Alex doesn’t stop, he doesn’t pause. He keeps walking down the street with Rosa. A moment later, the younger Michael allows Max to pull him into a hug. 

_It was you,_ Michael says, his voice full of awe. 

Alex lets go of the string to place his hand on Michael’s cheek. The memory fades around them, but Alex only sees Michael anyway, so it doesn’t matter. The glowing gold of the strings can be seen in the reflection of his eyes and he’s the most stunning thing Alex has ever laid eyes on. 

_It was you,_ Michael repeats with a soft smile. They both lean in for a tinder kiss, static shock moving through both of them when their lips meet. 

Alex is about to open his mouth and push for more when Michael pulls away to stare up at the strings again in wonder and Alex doesn’t have the heart to try and pull him back in. As intoxicating as this moment is for Alex, being surrounded by so much love and devotion, this is so much more than that for Michael. These strings are answers, very real answers about a part of his own history that he’s never been allowed access to before. 

Michael reaches out for another string, stopping just shy of touching it before looking back at Alex, like he’s asking for his permission. He doesn’t need it, but Alex gives it anyway in the form of reaching out with him. 

They touch the string and they both watch as Alex plays the piano in the music room, a wonderful strand of gold wrapping itself around him. Alex has never thought of himself as an attractive person before, but his eyes are closed and his skin is practically glowing from the strings and Alex has to admit it’s one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. 

He tugs and they don’t have to travel far to see Michael on the other side of that string, standing outside of the music room, touching the door with closed eyes. He, too, is wrapped in gold. The look on his face can only be described as moved. He looks so completely content, like he’s just discovered all of the answers to the universe and he can finally rest easy. 

They let go and touch another string. And another. And another. Every single one they can reach shows a moment in their timeline in which they were unknowingly connected to each other, influencing each other’s lives. Every time that Alex felt alone, Michael had been there in some form or fashion, connected through an invisible string that they can now see so clearly. In nearly every difficult time in his life, Michael was there, protecting a piece of his heart. Making sure that there was some piece of him left that his father couldn’t destroy. 

_We’ve been circling each other,_ Michael says. 

_Yeah, for a long time,_ he replies, tears streaming down his face as his brain starts to really register just how deep their connection goes. They are well and truly bonded at a cellular level. _Like something…_

 _Cosmic_ , Michael supplies. 

_Cosmic,_ he repeats, reverently. 

The word feels right. Natural. 

Alex reaches out blindly for another string, needing to see more. He’s not paying attention, so he doesn’t notice that this string is different. It’s not gold like the rest, it’s the same iridescent pink of the pods. And when he touches it, pictures and symbols dance in front of him like some kind of… language. It’s a language. 

Michael gasps audibly. 

Even though there’s no reason why he should be able to, Alex can read the words: 

_Antarians are a community where the spirit is strong in it’s search for connection. In times of great need and intense despair, the soul seeks solace in a mutual connection. When necessary, the heart reaches out, searching for a heart ready for communication. When combined, a permanent bond is established and cannot be separated. The bond holds the husbands together, united, throughout struggle, warms the heart, and ensures love._

The words fade before them and they are standing in a room with a blue couch and big windows overlooking a yard with a sad looking playset. The Michael beside him tenses and begins shaking his head. Alex is about to ask what’s wrong when he says, _I want to go_. 

Alex doesn’t question it. He connects to the look on Michael’s face on a deeply personal level. He’s being triggered. He nods his head in agreement, but neither of them are able to let go of the string. They try and move their hands from the pod, but that doesn’t work either. The bond seems intent on making them relive this moment for a reason. 

Michael buries his face in Alex’s shoulder and Alex’s eyes turn at the sound of a voice crying out, _Three!_

 _Please, please, please, no,_ Michael begs. Alex isn’t even sure he means for him to hear it, but with the two of them psychically bonded at the moment, Alex is hearing it all. 

Alex’s ears ring as the tiniest boy with the wild crazy eyes — Max, Alex realizes — opens his mouth and begins screaming. Isobel covers her ears and shrinks into the bench. Michael doesn’t. He wouldn’t. 

God, it’s amazing that nobody realized he was Deaf sooner, Alex thinks. But that’s a problem for another time, one in which he doesn’t have the grown Michael in crisis while he watches Max have a complete meltdown as he begins screaming out, _Three! Three! Three!_ telepathically. 

He watches as Max starts repeatedly drawing the same symbol on the wall. And through the connection, Alex can read as clear as day: _Three._

Alex shifts uncomfortably as the grown Michael continues to beg for it all to stop. Michael had told him that the reason he wasn’t adopted with Max and Isobel was because he was a messed up kid. But if this is what Max had been like and he’d still been giving a loving home, what kind of trauma had Michael displayed that the Evans’s had decided to leave him behind? 

He watches as the little Michael, who cannot be any older than seven, reaches out and takes the crayon from his brother and gets him to calm down. Max moves to sit next to Isobel and Michael is left standing there staring at the wall, trying to figure out what to do next. 

The door clicks open and Alex turns his head to see Mr. and Mrs. Evans walk into the room with somebody who must work for the home. Alex’s stomach churns at the way all of the adults look at the crayon in Michael’s hand with horror and pity. 

_Fuck_ , he says as Michael says, _I want to go._

Fuck.

Fuck. 

He tries his best to keep his horror to himself as Michael is clearly having a hard enough time reliving this moment, but he’s not sure he’s successful. 

Alex wants to intervene. He needs to say something. To stop them. To beg them to take Michael too. To make sure they know that he isn’t beyond saving, but he can’t move. 

_You were just trying to help_ , he says, desperate to change what is about to happen. But he can’t move. There’s nothing he can do. He tries to tug on the string again, to propel them to the other side of the connection, but it doesn’t work. 

Max and Isobel are taken away and Michael is left behind. The moment the door closes, Alex feels panic. 

_Please, please can we go,_ his Michael says, but both of them try and the string won’t budge, even when they throw their entire body weight into it. 

The younger Michael struggles. He pulls at the arms around him, trying to follow after his siblings. He tries everything. He tries hitting her with toys. He tries kicking, hitting, and biting but she won’t let him go. At this point Alex can barely see what is happening through the tears in his eyes. He’s openly crying, which would be less embarrassing if his Michael wasn’t sobbing beside him. 

_Let me go!_ the younger Michael cries out while the older one whimpers. 

_We’ll find you_ , Isobel promises, sounding broken herself. 

_Don’t leave me here,_ the younger Michael cries out and Alex can literally see him falling apart as he loses the only connection he has in this entire world. He tries once more to reach out, unable to sit here and watch without doing anything, but he’s helpless. 

_No. NO!_ the youngest Michael screams, pulling hard enough on the arms around him that something audibly pops and Alex grimaces, sincerely hoping that the sound hadn’t come from Michael. 

And then something snaps. Alex feels cold. Empty. Like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. It takes him a minute to realize the horrible truth. That it isn’t his own feelings. Those feelings are coming from Michael. From both Michaels. 

Then something extraordinary happens. An explosion of gold erupts out of younger Michael’s body, shooting out of him from all angles before twisting together to make one single, indestructible strand that travels out with a very clear purpose and direction. And finally, fucking _finally_ , they can tug on the connection. They follow the string as it moves through town, taking familiar roads until it’s traveling down a familiar neighborhood and Alex knows exactly where the end goal is. 

He holds his breath as the strand finds its way into Alex’s backyard and makes its initial connection. The moment it does, he can feel that spot on his own heart sing out. 

God. 

He remembers this moment. 

This silly, seemingly inconsequential moment — he remembers it. 

He’d been sitting in the backyard, listening to Greg play the guitar while he sat on the tire swing. The energy had hit him, though his seven year old self hadn’t been able to see it. He’d just felt something warm and electric run through him, settling in deep. 

He watches as his little self rubs at his heart, looking around the yard in confusion. When he doesn’t see anything, he shrugs it off and continues playing. Having no idea of the profound shift his life has just taken. 

His soul bonded. 

He looks over at the sound of Michael sniffling beside him. Michael looks back over at him, and despite the trauma still lingering, his eyes are full of wonder. 

_It’s not an imprint,_ Alex says. _For that bond to solidify, my heart had to need it too._

The string slips from their fingers and the memory fades away until it’s just the two of them again with the gold strings. And that’s when Alex realizes something important. They aren’t separate strings. They are all branches of the same one, with one end attached to Michael’s heart and the other to his own. 

Their hands fall away from the pod and the gold shimmers then fades away, until their bond grows invisible once more, but no less strong. They can still feel the energy between them. They are still connected. 

Alex pulls his sleeve down over his hand then reaches up to wipe the tears from Michael’s face. Michael leans into the touch. 

There are a thousand things he wants to say. A million words of comfort he could attempt to try and erase the horror that Michael had to endure in order for his soul bond to be triggered at such an early age. But instead he settles on one simple, undeniable truth and signs, I LOVE YOU. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original: "Antarians are communal, social beings whose spirit actively seek connection. In moments of intense crisis and profound need, the soul will seek out comfort through a mutual connection. In the hour of need, one of two hearts will reach out, seeking an equally matched heart to connect to. Once bonded, a lifelong connection is formed that cannot ever be severed. The bond will carry the pair through times of struggle, protecting the heart and ensuring love."
> 
> Translation: (Thanks to Arabic, Maori, Russian, Japanese, and Turkish) "Antarians are a community where the spirit is strong in it’s search for connection. In times of great need and intense despair, the soul seeks solace in a mutual connection. When necessary, the heart reaches out, searching for a heart ready for communication. When combined, a permanent bond is established and cannot be separated. The bond holds the husbands together, united, throughout struggle, warms the heart, and ensures love."
> 
> Comments are love <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your patience on this one. This chapter gave me a lot of problems and the perfectionist in me wasn't going to write it until I could figure out the exact right tone and scenes to include. I hope it was worth the wait. 
> 
> Special thanks to Alex for the beta-read!

**June 2018**

When Alex walks into the Crashdown, he’s surprised to see the restaurant is quiet and empty. Normally by this time of day, there’s a crowd of people rushing to get a quick bite to eat before work and school starts. He looks around in confusion trying to figure out what is going on. Admittedly, he’s been a little consumed with all things alien the past few days, but he feels like he would remember Liz telling him that they were closing for the day. She’d been the one to invite him to breakfast before his shift today. 

“We’re closed,” Arturo explains to him. “But for you, I’ll always have a churro pancake.” 

“Trying to fatten me up?” Alex asks with a smile, moving to sit at one of the empty barstools. 

“You could use more meat on your bones,” he says, putting the finishing touches on the two plates he’d been working on before grabbing a bowl to start mixing ingredients for his pancakes. “I don’t like what that desert did to you, mijo.” 

Alex looks around them, arms open wide as he says, “we’re in the desert now.” 

“Yes, but a desert that feeds you properly,” he says, shaking his finger at him to make his point. 

Alex’s own parents have never worried about him a day in his life. His mother left early and his dad has only ever worried about how flamboyant Alex appears. But Arturo has always been there to show Alex what loving parents should look like and he appreciates that. Even if it makes him feel guilty more often than not these days. 

“They fed me properly, too,” he argues with a laugh. “There’s just not much to do out there during down time but work out.”

Arturo narrows his eyes as he looks him up and down, which only makes Alex laugh harder. “I’m fine, I promise,” he says. 

“You aren’t doing that keto stuff right?” he asks. “Kyle was in here the other day claiming he couldn’t have anything with carbs or sugar and asking me for the ingredients list for all of our dishes.” Arturo scoffs. “As if I have that written down somewhere. That boy has been coming in here since he was in diapers and eating anything I put in front of him. Never once has he died.”

“Even when you were hoping he would,” Alex teases. 

Arturo shrugs and tilts his head, not denying it. They are all well aware of the numerous death threats that the man sent Kyle back in high school. It always gave Alex way more joy than it probably should have. 

“He’s no longer dating my daughter so now, esta bien,” he says. “Though if he questions my huevos a la Mexicana one more time…” He raises his hand and mimes cutting his own throat. 

“Nobody should be questioning your cooking,” Alex agrees. “No keto for me. I’ll eat as many pancakes as you put in front of me.” 

“Good,” he says with a decisive nod.

They both turn at the sound of Liz coming down the stairs. 

“Red or green?” Arturo calls out. 

“Christmas!” she yells back before coming through the doors into the dining room looking confused. “Why are we closed? I was gonna help out.”

“Every year on the anniversary of Rosa’s death, someone vandalizes us. After the shooting, I didn't want to risk an escalation. Someone could get hurt,” he explains. 

The reminder that today is the ten year anniversary of that awful night turns his veins to ice and stops his heart. His eyes travel over to the booth in the back that will forever be theirs. He can see them all sitting there as kids, laughing without a care in the world. He tries to remember the sound of Rosa’s laugh or the way her eyes would light up as she called him chiquito. Time has started to erode away at the details and he’s been finding it more and more difficult these days to remember the small things. 

Like the way her voice would crack with emotion when she would sing Jumper or the smirk she would get just before she came up with one of her crazy ideas. If he were to walk over there and lift the condiment caddy, he would see all of their initials carved into the wood, marking the spot as theirs. He’d see a purple nailpolish stain from one of the many times she’d painted his nails for him. 

There has not been a single day since she died ten years ago that he hasn’t thought about her at least once. Some days, he’d think of happy memories. He’d remember sitting with her on the roof of the Crashdown sharing a pair of headphones as they discussed music. He’d remember her teaching him to play the guitar at that very booth. Or practicing tricks on his skateboard while she worked on street art. Other days, he wouldn’t be nearly as lucky. 

Other days — most days, he would argue — he sees the worst day of his life. He remembers a dark cave lit with candles. He remembers Isobel’s vacant eyes. He remembers the flames. And he remembers the smell. 

Alex’s eyes move back to Arturo and Liz as a heavy, but familiar weight settles in his stomach. There is not a day that goes by that he doesn’t feel guilty for not getting to that cave sooner. For not doing right by his best friend and her family. And hearing about how Arturo and Liz have suffered ever since only makes that guilt worse. 

The Ortechos have always been his family when he needed them. But when they needed him, he’d helped cover up Rosa’s murder. 

“I’m gonna step outside for a minute,” he excuses himself, but the two of them are heavily involved in whatever discussion they are having and so they barely notice him. 

He walks outside and around the corner to the alley, always mindful of any watching eyes that might see him using sign language. Once he’s sure that he’s alone, he pulls out his phone and calls Michael, hoping he’ll pick up. He’d gone over to Max’s that morning at Isobel’s insistence. She’s convinced that there’s something wrong with Max and has been ever since he healed Liz. Alex thinks it’s a clever excuse for why Max had decided to punch Michael yesterday after they’d gotten into another fight about Max’s decision to tell Liz. 

The phone rings several times before Michael finally picks up. 

I’M GONNA KILL HIM, he says in lieu of a proper greeting. Michael looks exhausted. He can hear Isobel in the background yelling and see Max in the corner of the screen looking rather… strung out? Maybe she’d been onto something in thinking there was something going on? 

IS HE OKAY? Alex asks. 

HE’S AN ASSHOLE IS WHAT HE IS, he signs. 

WELL SURE, BUT IS ISOBEL RIGHT? IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM? Alex asks, concerned. Max and Michael’s relationship has been strained for a long time. Ever since that night in the caves, but he knows that Michael still cares for Max and keeps a close eye on him. 

I DON’T KNOW, Michael signs with a heavy sigh. MAYBE. PROBABLY. HE FEELS DIFFERENT. HIS ENERGY IS OFF. MORE CHAOTIC. 

Alex’s anxiety starts to peak when Michael signs the word chaotic. 

LIKE WHEN YOU WERE KIDS? he asks. 

There’s already a laundry list of alien crises to deal with between Liz and Project Shepard. They aren’t really in a great place for Max to have some kind of mental break. Alex has touched the pod and seen Michael’s memories through the strings. He knows what Max was like as a kid. The last thing they need is to have to explain why Max is screaming and drawing on walls. Michael and Alex don’t talk about Max often, but Alex knows that Michael has always feared that old darkness finding its way to the surface. 

WE WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN, Michael signs, firmly. Alex nods in agreement. They can’t afford to. WERE YOU CALLING FOR A REASON? 

IT’S NOTHING. Alex shakes his head. Michael has enough on his plate, he doesn’t need to add anything more to it. 

The moment Michael’s face grows angry, Alex realizes his mistake. Michael hates being brushed off. It’s a common theme in his life with his hearing loss. People grow tired of translating things for him and filling in the blanks. Or they just don’t want to take the time to explain things in a language he can understand. So they tell him, ‘it’s nothing.’ 

I’M SORRY, I JUST MEANT, I CAN TELL YOU LATER. YOU’VE GOT YOUR HANDS FULL WITH MAX, he signs with an apologetic smile. 

ISOBEL IS YELLING AT MAX RIGHT NOW AND I COULD USE THE DISTRACTION, he signs. I’D RATHER NOT SIT HERE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. WHAT’S WRONG? 

Alex glances over at the exterior wall of the Crashdown, seeing one of Rosa’s pieces of work. Faded but still there after all these years. Much like his memories of her. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as a wave of emotions hit him. 

TODAY IS THE 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF HER DEATH, he signs, eyes going to the sky as he fights back tears. 

It’s not that they’ve never talked about what happened. They certainly have. But it’s a difficult memory for both of them and so it’s often easier to talk about it in more military terms. How Isobel is doing. If their cover remains intact. If the town suspects anything. It’s much more difficult for them to talk about the utter deviation that was that day. 

SHIT. 

YEAH, Alex signs. 

ARE YOU OKAY? he asks, grimacing immediately afterwards, realizing that it’s a stupid question. Of course he’s not okay. 

DID YOU KNOW THAT ARTURO CLOSES THE CRASHDOWN EVERY YEAR ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF HER DEATH? he asks. He hadn’t realized that fact and it makes his guilt even more debilitating. He knows how hard it is to own a small business from his regular conversations with Maria. The sacrifice it takes to give up even a few hours of business, let alone an entire day… 

I DID, Michael admits with another grimace. 

BECAUSE THE RESTAURANT GETS VANDALIZED EVERY YEAR? He adds, feeling his blood pressure start to rise. 

Michael nods, looking guilty. Alex snorts. Of course Michael would know. He’s the one that’s been stuck in this town for the last decade. He’s never mentioned it to Alex though. Even when Alex has brought the Ortechos up. Talked to him about Rosa’s memorial always being defaced or the racist comments he’s seen written on the Crashdown’s Facebook posts. 

THESE PEOPLE WERE MY FAMILY AND I… AND I… he can’t even finish that sentence, his hands are shaking too badly to form the signs. 

Michael looks down and away, his shoulders slumping as he closes in on himself. 

I’M SORRY. Michael’s signs are small. 

WHY? YOU DIDN’T KILL ROSA, he snaps. ISOBEL DID. 

Alex hears somebody clear their throat behind him and he jumps, quickly ending the call and turning around in horror to find Liz standing there. 

“You really are fluent in ASL,” she says with a soft smile, clearly having no idea what he was just signing about, but Alex feels guilty and on edge all the same. “You okay?” 

“You just scared me,” Alex says, trying to calm his anxiety so that she won’t ask too many questions about why her presence has his heart thumping loudly in his ears. “I try not to let people see me signing. Leads to a lot of questions I can’t really answer,” he says. It’s not a lie. It’s not why he’d jumped so high at her presence, but it’s not a lie. 

“I don’t get it,” she says, taking several steps closer to him. “Plenty of men date. It’s not like people finding out about Michael and you would give away their secret.” 

“It’s not that simple,” he says. “There’s my dad to consider.” 

She frowns, her head tilting to the side and he can see her slipping into scientist mode. She’s never met a problem she didn’t try to solve. “Are things with him still bad? You’re an adult. You haven’t lived at home for ten years.” 

He shifts uncomfortably on his feet, eager to get this conversation over with. 

“Liz, I have been in love with Michael for a decade. If there was even the slightest chance we could be together safely in public, don’t you think we would have come out already?” he says, hoping to end this conversation. 

She holds her hands up in defense. “I just hate that you guys have to hide. You deserve to be happy.” 

Alex shrugs, not really knowing what to say. It sucks. Having to hide his love for Michael, never being able to go out in public together, or even be seen to interact in any way? It absolutely sucks. But it’s much better than the alternative. 

“Is that what things would be like if…” she trails off, but he knows where her mind is at. She may not be fully bonded to Max yet, but he knows that she’s felt the effects of Max’s energy. He knows how addicting that feeling can be. He’s sure Max is never far from her mind. 

“If you were with Max?” 

“I’m going to San Diego,” she says quickly. “I have a grant.” 

He nods. 

“Of course,” he says. There’s really no point in arguing with her. She’s either going to bond with Max fully and they’ll figure out a way to make it work, or she won’t. Either way, that doesn’t really have a bearing on whether or not Liz continues her research. In fact, it might be good for Max to get away. He’d always had plans to travel the world, and he’s never even left Roswell. 

After what happened to the Ortechos, seeing how Max threw away all of his future plans to stay in Roswell with Isobel was perhaps the second most tragic thing to have come out of Rosa’s death. Michael would have done the same if Alex had let him. But the need to get a proper education to combat Project Shepard with every weapon they could find for themselves had superseded any other need. Michael had thankfully understood that much. 

“To answer your question, no,” he continues. “I think you and Max are in the clear. Things with Michael are just… they’re more complicated.” 

That’s as much as he can say without getting into the fact that Project Shepard knows that he’s soul bound to an alien and would capture and dissect any person he were to be seen with. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. 

“Nothing to be sorry about,” he says with a shrug. “I have Michael and I’m happy. The rest is all details.” 

She narrows her eyes, clearly studying him, searching for something in his answer. What, he’s not sure. 

“Is it really like that?” she asks, her voice smaller, sounding much younger. More vulnerable than she’s been in years. 

“Is what really like that?” he asks. 

“Love?” she says before quickly continuing. “Or whatever this energy is. The way you talk about it… It’s science, right? Their energy causes some kind of spike in oxytocin? Or perhaps dopamine?” 

Alex shakes his head at her constant need to turn everything into a science project. He trusts her to keep their secret, but he’s not sure he trusts her not to treat them all like a massive science experiment, which has its own inherent dangers. 

“I mean, doesn’t love in general cause a spike in oxytocin and dopamine? I don’t think that has anything to do with them being aliens,” he says, impressed he even knows that much. Clearly he has picked up some of Michael’s studies over the years. 

“I wouldn’t know,” she says. 

“Weren’t you engaged in Denver?” he asks, confused. 

“We broke up,” she says, glaring at him. “How do you know that?” 

He grimaces, realizing his misstep. He takes a moment to figure out his next move, before settling on the truth. That’s usually the best approach with Liz. 

“Uh, Michael and Isobel cyber stalked you when they found out that Max told you their secret,” he confesses. 

Of all the things they could have done, that was fairly innocent. They’d wanted to corner her in the Crashdown last night and scare her into keeping quiet and Alex had thankfully talked Michael out of that idea. 

“And how did they find out I was engaged? I don’t have social media,” she tells him. 

“I may have helped.” 

Her eyes widen and she lets out a shocked laugh, clearly both offended and outraged. 

“You couldn’t have just asked me yourself?” 

“People lie,” he says. 

She opens her mouth like she’s going to argue with him, but after a moment closes it. He knows her well, even with a decade apart. She, too, understands how people cannot always be trusted. 

“You got more paranoid since high school,” she says instead. He takes it as the olive branch it is. She doesn’t like his actions, but she can logically understand them, so he’s forgiven. 

“Yeah, well, you would have too,” he says. “You will.” 

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to get involved. I want to survive this one bad day, spend some time with my dad, then I’m going to California.” 

“Okay,” he says, but what he really wants to say is good luck. It’s nearly impossible to stay out of alien drama. Alex should know, Michael and he have tried. “What are you up to today?” 

“I was going to visit Kyle.” 

“Valenti?” he asks, confused. Alex can understand the need for a hookup on a difficult day. What he doesn’t understand is why she would seek out Kyle when she has Max. Even before their bond had been fully solidified, Michael had been like a drug to Alex. “If you’re looking for a hookup, I’m with Maria. You should just give Max a shot.” 

He loves Liz and he wants her to be happy, the kind of happy that comes with the love of a soulmate. After everything she’s been through with Rosa, now that she knows the secret, it feels like it’s finally time for the two of them. And perhaps helping move that bond along will help slow down whatever breakdown Max is in the middle of. After all, hadn’t Michael theorized that Max had evened out with a loving home? He imagines bonding with his soulmate would have a similar effect. 

“I was going to ask Kyle to pull Rosa’s toxicology report.” 

Not what he was expecting her to say. The realization causes his blood to run cold as his heart stops. 

“Why would you do that?” he asks, carefully. 

“If I can look at it scientifically, if I can see the chemicals that made the bad choices for her…” Her voice hitches and for a moment, he’s sure that she’s going to get emotional, but she pulls herself together. They are similar in that regard, both incredibly guarded with their emotions. 

“Liz?” 

“I want to be able to forgive her,” she admits. “My dad wants me to find a way to forgive her.” 

“She was just a kid,” he says, holding back his own emotions about Rosa. Liz deserves more from him than to center himself in a misery that he played a part in creating. “She loved you more than anything, but she was a kid with a lot of shit. She self-medicated. We both know she was an addict.” 

“I need to see it,” she argues. 

“Why pull on that thread? It’s just going to make it harder.” 

“I need something else to blame okay?” she says. “I’m a scientist. I deal with facts. If I can see the biology of it, I can justify it in my head and stop being so angry at her all of the time.” 

Alex bites the inside of his cheek. He hates this for her. He hates that, in one single night, Isobel had ruined so many lives — and none more than the Ortechos’. He hates that he played a part in that misery. He hates that any happy memory that Liz has of her sister has been washed away with the lie that she’d gotten herself killed with her addiction. 

“Is Kyle even allowed to show you that?” he asks, careful to keep all emotion out of his voice, even though internally, he’s dying. He doesn’t deserve Liz’s comfort or pity, which is what he would get if he let her see so much as a single tear. 

“I’m family,” she argues. 

Alex nods. 

He should argue with her. He knows that Rosa didn’t die in a car crash. He has no idea what her autopsy will reveal. The most he knows is that Project Shepard had altered her autopsy to keep the fact that she was murdered by an alien a secret. He’s never had the balls to actually look at the file. For years it was sealed beyond his reach and once he had the cyber skills to access the records, he hadn’t much seen the point. It had been years since the murder and nobody had ever come knocking on any of their doors. 

There’s a very real risk in letting Liz pursue this line of questioning. If any part of the altered autopsy is amiss, Liz will find it. But Liz deserves some peace, and he hopes that she finds it. So he says nothing. 

**** 

**June 2008**

Michael lies on the cave floor, one hand in Alex’s, the other on the pod, staring up at the gold strings. They glow warm and bright. He could stare at them for hours. They remind him of the Christmas lights that the Evanses always put up. The ones that speak to a loving home and a safe place to land. Something Michael never thought he’d get to have. But these strings, they are his. He gets to keep these. They are a permanent part of him. A permanent part of Alex. 

He looks over at Alex, taking in the way his face looks so completely relaxed. More relaxed and settled than Michael is used to seeing him. He’s so beautiful, even more beautiful with the way the gold is reflecting in his eyes. And Michael gets to keep him. This is his home. His future. His forever. 

That’s what those symbols had said… The symbols he’d always seen reflected in the pod whenever he’d touch it, but had never been able to translate before. That these strings are a permanent bond, one that ensures love. The symbols had even called Alex his husband. Michael hadn’t expected to gravitate so strongly to that word, but even now, the word husband hits him deeply. It’s everything he’s ever wanted and it’s right here in front of him for the taking. 

_ You’re staring,  _ Alex says. 

Michael’s smile only grows at the sound of his voice in his head. He’s always wondered what he sounded like, tried to guess based on how his chest would vibrate. But being able to hear Alex is a gift he couldn’t have expected. The only two people in the world that Michael’s ever been able to hear before now have been Max and Isobel. 

_ What?  _ Alex asks, a blush warming his cheeks. 

_ I’m just really happy right now _ , he says, and Alex’s answering smile is brighter than all the strings combined. 

Alex lets go of the pod and moves his hand so that it’s resting against his cheek. The touch sends a shock through them. Now that he understands the bond, he can recognize the shock for what it is. His energy bleeding out, looking for the other half of his heart. Michael leans into the touch. 

_ Michael! _ Max yells, his voice muffled and distant. He sits up suddenly, looking around, but seeing nobody. He lets down his wall and searches for his connection to Max. He finds it, but it’s muddled. Max is far off, but getting closer.  _ Michael, Isobel is missing again!  _

This past weekend, after the prom that Michael had skipped, Isobel had blacked out and they hadn’t been able to find her until the next morning. She’d been covered in red paint that had looked too much like blood for a moment, without a single memory of how she got there. Michael suspects she’s using. He’s heard the rumors that she’s hanging out with Rosa Ortecho. He just hasn’t told Max for fear that the other rumor he’s been hearing, that she’s been hooking up with Rosa Ortecho, is true. He’s not about to out her to Max. He hasn’t even outed himself yet. 

If she’s getting high, Michael isn’t going to judge. He just doesn’t understand why she has to lie about it. But there’s a darker fear, the fear that goes unspoken between the two of them but is the reason that their connection is flooded with a shared worry. Isobel has had blackouts before. Ever since their 14th birthday and the night they all refuse to talk about with the drifter. The blackouts have been on and off for years, but never as frequent as they appear to be happening lately. And if that’s what’s happening, Michael is terrified. 

It’s not like they can go to a doctor with this. 

WHAT’S GOING ON? Alex signs, sitting up, unable to communicate psychically anymore without the pod. 

I HAVE TO GO, Michael signs at the same time he tells Max,  _ I’m at the pods, come get me.  _

_ I don’t understand where she is! _ Max says. His energy feels chaotic in a way that might worry Michael more than Isobel’s blackouts. Isobel has always been a grounding force for Max. Something Michael lost the ability to be for him the moment the Evanses left him behind in that group home. Michael can probably handle one of his siblings going off the edge, but he can’t handle both. 

IS EVERYTHING OKAY? he asks, genuinely concerned.

ISOBEL NEEDS ME. He pulls his keys out of his pocket and places them in Alex’s hand, taking a moment to hold his hand in both of his own before pulling back to sign, YOU’RE OKAY TO GET YOURSELF HOME? 

HOW ARE YOU GETTING HOME? Alex asks. 

_ Where is she?!  _ Max yells, and the intensity of his anger through the connection has Michael’s anxiety skyrocketing. 

_ I don’t know, but we’ll find her together. Just come and get me,  _ he says, doing his best to send calming waves through the connection. 

MICHAEL? Alex signs, waving to get his attention. 

WHAT? RIGHT, Alex had asked him a question. He’s struggling to focus with Max’s emotions slamming against him. SORRY. MAX IS COMING TO GET ME. I CAN GET MY TRUCK BACK FROM YOU LATER. 

OKAY. 

He can tell that Alex wants to say more, but doesn’t and Michael appreciates him for it. Promises to talk to him about it later, explain everything. But for now, he can’t get into it while Isobel is out there possibly in danger and Max won’t stop pushing against him. 

Michael stands up, but Alex doesn’t follow. 

ARE YOU COMING? he asks. 

Alex leans back against his pod, his eyes going up to where Michael knows he can see the strings even if they are invisible at the moment to Michael. I THINK I’LL STAY HERE FOR AWHILE LONGER BEFORE I GO HOME. 

Michael understands that desire to stay in a safe space. If he had that option, he would, too. He leans down and kisses Alex; the moment their lips meet, the cave glows gold, and the world slips away. He tries to remember that feeling as he pulls away and things grow dark again. Tries to push those warm feelings of love and safety out to Max, unsure if that’s how it works. 

I LOVE YOU, Alex signs and Michael can’t help but smile. 

Alex smiles back so wide, looking at Michael like he’s the damn sun and it feels like his heart might actually outgrow his chest. I LOVE YOU, TOO. 

_ I don’t understand how hard it is for her to leave her phone on!  _ Max continues to yell and Michael really has to go. 

He gives Alex one last look before walking out of the cave and heading down the path toward the small dirt road. 

_ You can’t feel her at all? _ he asks. He can’t feel Isobel, but Max’s range is usually a bit better than his own. They’ve got that twin thing going for them, and his psychic skills had never 100% recovered after they were separated as kids. 

_ She’s shut me out _ , Max complains. Michael reaches out through the connection, trying to see if he can determine how far away Max is. They can’t usually communicate from such a distance, but whenever any of them are feeling particularly stressed, they can extend the connection at least a few more miles. 

He continues to walk down the road until he sees Max’s jeep appear in the distance and stops, waiting for Max to pull up. 

_ What’s wrong with your truck?  _ Max asks as Michael gets into the car, looking down the road to where his truck is parked about a half a mile away. 

_ Nothing _ , he says, not elaborating any further. He isn’t hiding Alex exactly, but he doesn’t want to get into the fact that his soulmate is a guy right now, nor the fact that Alex knows their secret. They have much bigger things to focus on.  _ What happened? _

Max lets out a visible sigh and frustration floods the connection. 

_ I don’t know. I waited for her after school, but somebody said she left after 6th period,  _ Max says, making a U-turn and heading back toward the main road.  _ I’ve tried calling her but her phone is off and I’ve already checked everywhere I know she could be.  _

_ I bet she’s just smoking too much pot or something and doesn’t want you to know,  _ he says, hoping it’s the case. 

_ You can feel it though, right?  _ Max asks.  _ There are these moments where she’s just, not there.  _

He can feel it, and that’s the problem. He’s been around a lot of addicts in his life, and there’s something different about what’s going on with Isobel. He’s just hoping that they are wrong. 

********

**June 2018**

Alex walks into the Pony that night, breathing a sigh of relief when Michael’s energy hits him, flowing through him. It soothes the jagged pieces that have been pressing at him since he realized today’s date. He can’t acknowledge Michael, but that doesn’t stop him from walking right up to the bar where Michael is sat and purposefully brushing against him as he waits for Maria to finish with a customer. The touch sends a shock through both of them and Alex catches Michael smiling into his bourbon. 

It’s moments like this that Alex truly wishes he had the ability to communicate with Michael telepathically like Max and Isobel do. They are able to do so when Alex is touching his pod, but beyond that, it’s not a skill either of them possesses. But in a crowded place, when they’ve both had a shit day, Alex really wishes that they had a way to communicate that wouldn’t give their secret away. 

“Twice in one week,” Maria says, coming up to him. “I never thought I’d see the day. You here for 90s night?” 

Alex’s smile drops at the reminder of Rosa even as he leans over the bar to accept a kiss on the cheek. 

“It’s okay to miss her,” she says, reaching out to put a hand on his cheek. “You loved her, too.” 

He doesn’t tell her that he doesn’t feel like he deserves to miss her. Maria’s always been highly intuitive and he’s always been worried that she’ll be able to read his guilt all over him and start pushing at buttons he’s not emotionally ready to guard against. 

“I’m okay,” he says with a tight smile. 

She narrows her eyes, trying to read him. “You’re glowing gold, which usually means you’re happy and in love. But I can feel the sadness pouring out of you. You know you can talk to me.” 

“I know,” he says, eager to change the subject, especially as she brings up the gold light. If she honestly does have some kind of psychic ability to see his strings, then it would only take a glance two feet to his right to see just who those strings connect to. He nods over at his military buddies sitting together at two tables in the back. 

“I actually came here with some guys from the base,” he says. 

“King of deflection.” Maria laughs and rolls her eyes. “I heard they were celebrating somebody finally moving from stripes to bars. I thought they might be talking about you. Congrats!” 

“Thanks,” he says, accepting the beer she hands him. 

“Of course I would be happier for you if you were announcing your retirement,” she gives him a pointed look. 

Alex sighs. He’s well aware of the fact that he’s disappointed virtually everyone but his father by re-upping his contract, but nobody is more disappointed by the news that he’s got another four years than himself. 

“I should probably get over there.” 

She waves him off as she walks towards a new customer. “You’d better not leave before talking to me!” she says to him. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he promises.

He’s about to walk away when the band starts up their next song and Alex instantly recognizes the chords to “Name.” His breath catches as he has a vivid memory of Rosa singing this song to him over the phone one night senior year. His eyes look over at the band, focusing on the lead singer, taking in every detail so he can center himself in this moment. He can clearly see the singer isn’t Rosa, but all he can hear is Rosa’s voice. He bites the inside of his cheek as he tries to focus on five things he can see. 

Michael brushes up against him and a spark ignites at the touch. It grounds him instantly. He chances a glance over at Michael, but he’s studying his glass with great intensity. Alex knows that it must be taking everything in him not to look up at Alex and offer him real comfort. He looks away before anyone can notice and ask any questions. 

He sees Isobel walk in and steps away before she can reach them. Today is not the day to be around her of all people. Alex has learned to let go of a lot of his anger at her. Logically, he knows that she has blackouts and the person who killed his best friend isn’t the same girl who texts Michael every day just to say good morning and hear about his plans for the day. But on days like today, it’s hard to remember that. 

He walks towards the back to sit down with his fellow airmen. He purposefully keeps his eyes on the guys at the table and his ears trained on the conversation. It helps. The music fades to the background, so he doesn’t have an internal battle whenever one of Rosa’s songs gets played. He doesn’t have to see Isobel and have flashbacks to that cave. It’s good. Maria makes sure to replace his empty bottles and after a few rounds, it’s easier to stay grounded. His friends keep things light and Alex can almost enjoy the evening. 

He’s not surprised when his phone goes off with an alert. He’d expected Michael to send him at least one flirtatious text. He is surprised to realize that it’s not his Michael-phone that gets the alert. He pulls out his public-phone, the color draining from his face when he looks at the screen. 

There’s an alert informing him that his phone has been hacked. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot out of me to write. So huge shout out to Brooke, L, Hal, Christi, Nin, and Tove for giving me the confidence to push through and finish this thing. ESPECIALLY huge thanks to Tove for actually helping me write some of the smuttier parts. 
> 
> And yes... This chapter has smut, specifically smut between two consenting 17 year olds. If that's not your thing, I would skip after Alex and Michael head to the old mines and not start again until the scene breaks.

**June 2008**

Alex sits on the stone retaining wall on the corner of Walker and Elmhurst where Michael always picks him up. It’s three blocks from his house and far enough away that his father won’t ever see who he runs off with every day. The beatings are bad enough with just the implication that Alex is spending his nights with a boy. He doesn’t want to know what his dad would do if he ever found proof of his sexuality. 

Despite the heat of the sun burning down on him, he’s wearing a hoodie. He needs the long sleeves to cover the handprints on his arms and the hood to cover the split lip and swollen eye. He keeps his head down so the neighbors won’t see and has his headphones in so that he can try and block out the world and calm the growing panic. 

This town is suffocating him. Not unlike his dad tried to do when he choked him last night. 

Yesterday should have been a good day. He woke up to a text message from Rosa informing him of her plans to attend rehab in Los Alamos. She’s ready to really work at being sober and admits she’s not able to do it on her own. Through proud tears, Alex sent her lyrics to The Cranberries’ ‘Dreams.’ He snuck encouraging texts to her throughout the school day as his heart swelled. Before Michael, Rosa was his rock and he just wants the best for her. He wants to be able to rebuild what they lost to the drinking and the drugs. 

On his way to school, Greg had called him from Germany. He’d gotten news that he was being shipped stateside. He was going to be able to visit for a few days before he was expected to report to his next station. As if all of that wasn’t enough to make his heart full yesterday, Michael and he had managed to sneak away for a solid 45 minute make out session. It left him feeling so unbelievably loved and wanted. The bond he shares with Michael still feels like magic and he’s eternally grateful for whatever interstellar alien voodoo created the strings. 

After school, Michael had to work. Alex had gone home with the thought that his dad was supposed to be out of town for a training and he’d be safe for the night. It should have been a good day. It was… Until his dad had come home. 

Alex looks down at his phone and stares at the most recent text message from Rosa.

> Rosa (8:32am): I can stay. I don’t have to go to Los Alamos tomorrow. You can sleep over. We can protect you from him. 
> 
> Rosa (8:34am): You are so loved, Chiquito. No matter what that monster says.

He hasn’t responded to her. Every time he tries to tell her that she needs to go because she can’t pour from an empty pitcher or that he can’t lean on her if she ODs, he ends up tying out, ‘Let’s run away’ instead. He deletes it every time because it’s too selfish to send. 

Besides, he has Michael now. And in a week, he’ll have Greg back to help him deal with his father. And once graduation hits, he’s going to be gone. He just has to survive another two weeks. 

Alex doesn’t hear Michael’s truck approach with the way he’s currently blasting ‘Just a Girl.’ Rosa had dropped off a CD mix for him. The cover had a beautiful piece of art with the words, ‘I’m sorry, I’ll do better’ written across the top. Which was when she had seen the bruises and promptly lost her shit. The only reason she’d calmed down was that he’d told her it would be worse if his dad woke up and saw her there. The only reason she’d left was because he’d told her he had a boyfriend now who was coming to get him for the day. 

He doesn’t hear Michael’s truck turn the corner nor does he see Michael run out of his car and rush to his side. His eyes are shut tight, blocking out the entire world, praying it would just stop hurting him. But he feels him. He feels the way his body starts to warm as Michael’s energy begins seeping into his veins. Feels the way every open wound starts to heal. 

Michael sends a shock through his system when he reaches out to touch his chin and gets Alex to look at him. The first thing Alex notices is the anger on his face. The sheer rage and it has him flinching for a moment before his brain reminds him that Michael’s not the enemy. 

THE FUCK, ALEX? DID HE DO THIS? he signs, every word comes out choppy and big, showing just how angry he really is. 

Alex’s eyes water as his shoulders slump and his arms cross, trying to retreat. Michael instantly relaxes and kneels before him. He places his hands on Alex’s thighs and starts to massage them. Even the soothing energy moving through him can’t calm his anxiety, as he looks around making sure nobody can see them. 

I’M SORRY, I SHOULDN’T HAVE YELLED, Michael signs. WHAT HAPPENED? 

Alex takes a deep breath, but shakes his head. NOT HERE. 

Michael nods, standing up and looking around as well. He gestures to the truck and Alex trails behind him. He leaves his headphones on and tries to find comfort in ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ which Rosa included 100% for his benefit. She doesn’t tend to listen to anything produced after the year 2000. 

They both slide into the truck and Michael thankfully shifts into drive and starts heading out of the neighborhood without another word. Alex rests his head against the window, covers his bruised ribs with his right arm and tries not to cry at how exposed he feels. It’s not that he doesn’t know it’s safe to be vulnerable in front of Michael. They are literally soul mates. Their bond proves that they will love each other no matter what. 

He knows it’s safe to let Michael see all of him, the good, the bad, the ugly. They’ve seen each other’s strings. They’ve seen each other’s worst days. But Alex just isn’t ready yet. It’s hard enough sometimes looking back at a moment that’s a year or two old. This wound is so fresh that the marks of it are still throbbing painfully. 

Michael reaches out and tugs on his sleeve once they hit the highway. Alex looks over at him and Michael signs, I LOVE YOU, before lacing their fingers together. Alex takes a steadying breath and gives him a shaky smile. He brings their hands to his face so that he can nuzzle into Michael’s hand, breathing in deep the smell of rain that accompanies Michael everywhere he goes. He has to be careful not to place too much pressure on his bruise. 

Alex kisses the back of Michael’s hand before allowing Michael to pull their hands into his own lap. 

I LOVE YOU, TOO, he signs back as they turn off of the highway and towards the turquoise mines. 

Alex’s phone buzzes and he looks at it reluctantly, hoping it’s not a message from his father asking him where he is. Alex may or may not have gotten grounded last night. But if his asshole of a father wants to enforce it, he’ll have a hard time finding him. Alex’s is ready to move into the cave with Michael and just ignore his father until after graduation. Or possibly forever. 

If his dad wants to pull him out of school again to enforce his punishments, Alex has no problem marching into the police station and showing Sheriff Valenti his bruises. He’s protected his father in the past, but he’s coming to the realization that he doesn’t have to. Greg is no longer here, so he’s not trying to keep his family together. He’s got Michael now, so it’s not like his father’s home is as good as he can get anymore. He deserves better and he’s starting to see that. 

And after last night, Alex is fairly convinced the next time he comes for him, his dad is going to kill him. 

He holds his breath until he sees that it’s a text from Rosa and his shoulders relax. 

> Rosa (9:16am): We don’t believe in anything, that these critics, they’re writing in their magazines…
> 
> Rosa (9:16am): Just respond and let me know that you aren’t still at home so I stop worrying please. 

He smiles, wondering if she had to look up those lyrics or if she took his advice and started listening to The Spill Canvas. He hopes she did. It’ll be a good soundtrack for rehab. 

> Alex (9:18am): The world is spinning way too fast. The entire human race, float into space. 

Alex gets a kick out of texting that particular lyric and has to bite his lips to hide back his smile. Michael shoots him a curious look and Alex turns his phone screen to Michael so he can see that he’s texting Rosa. 

IT’S A SONG LYRIC, he signs when Michael’s brow starts to furrow. ALIEN SECRETS DIE WITH ME. 

Rosa responds almost immediately. 

> Rosa (9:19am): Where are you? 
> 
> Rosa (9:20am): Also, don’t you dare fill your shoes with cement, but you can 100% kiss the ones you love with reckless abandonment when you come say goodbye to me at the bus stop tomorrow. 

Alex smiles at that. He’s missed Rosa so much. Anyone else that he would text emo lyrics to, would be fretting over his mental health and nagging him. Rosa gets him. She always has. From that first day she painted his nails. Before Michael, there was nobody else in his life that understood him as clearly as Rosa did. Not even Greg. 

> Alex (9:21am): I’ll be there. No cement in sight. And I’m with Michael. 
> 
> Rosa (9:23am): I still cannot believe you bagged Guerin. I didn’t think he had such good taste. I’m a proud momma. 
> 
> Rosa (9:23am): One day, you’d better give me all the details of how this happened. I want every last second of what I’m sure is a super emo love story. 

Alex will never be able to tell her all the details of his love story with Michael, but he can at least confirm that it’s everything his little emo heart could have ever hoped for. He pulls out a TLC lyric just for her, though it’s one of the only lines from that song he remembers. 

> Alex (9:25am): I love my man with all honesty… 
> 
> Rosa (9:27am): Except he better not be cheating on you. Pick a better song, dude. You could have at least gone for a super melodramatic Boyz II Men number. 

The only Boyz II Men song he can think of right now is ‘I’ll Make Love to You’ and it has him squirming in his seat. He glances over at Michael who's watching him out of the corner of his eyes. Alex’s heart melts and his pain fades away into a distant memory as he feels Michael’s energy flood his system. He allows his eyes to wander for a moment. He is a seventeen year old boy, after all, and Michael is incredibly attractive. 

He’s saved from having to respond to the amused look Michael sends him when his phone buzzes again. 

> Rosa (9:27am): I feel so much better leaving you behind knowing that you’ve got a man to take care of you, Chiquito <3 

He’s glad too. With Greg gone, he doesn’t have much support left in this town. But Michael is everything. 

> Alex (9:29am): He’s good at taking care of me. You don’t need to worry about me. 

He says it because, despite how often she can get wrapped up in her own issues, Rosa is the most empathetic person he knows. She takes everyone’s pain on herself and is always worried about everyone else. She has enough weighing on her as she heads into rehab, he wants her focusing on herself. 

> Rosa (9:31am): Take me to the place I love, take me all the way… 

As if Alex’s mind wasn’t already going down that road, he doesn’t need any more help from her. 

> Alex (9:34am): Please don’t. 
> 
> Rosa (9:35am): If I don’t give you a safe but encouraging safe sex talk, who will? Wrap it up, but go for it. I told you to save it for somebody special ;) 

The truck jolts to a stop and when Alex looks up from his phone, he’s surprised to find that they’ve arrived at the old turquoise mine already. He smiles as he opens the door and feels the mix of so many versions of Michael’s energy hitting his system, both current and residual. Here, he truly feels at home. 

Michael walks around the hood of the car and comes to stand at the passenger side door, making himself comfortable between Alex’s legs. Without saying a word, he reaches out and frames Alex’s face in his hands and leans in to rest his forehead against his own. 

Alex closes his eyes and breathes in the smell of rain as he allows the last bit of Michael’s energy to soothe over any lingering anxiety and fear. 

Alex’s eyes open when he can feel the weight of Michael’s gaze on him. They stare at each other for several long moments, drinking each other in. His eyes drop to Michael’s lips when his tongue darts out to wet his lips and it ignites a flame in his belly. Alex leans in closer until their noses brush against each other and he can feel Michael’s increased breathing tickle his cheek. It makes him shiver with anticipation. 

Michael closes the final few centimeters between them easily. The moment Alex feels his chapped lips against his own, want floods their bond. Alex can’t tell who it comes from, but he needs more. His arms fall around Michael’s shoulders and pull his body closer. He wraps his legs around Michael’s hips until his hips are pressing into Michael’s and as much as he hates it, he’s pretty sure Rosa is right. He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for. Michael doesn’t need rose petals or candlelight to make this moment special. They’ve got the world’s most romantic setting waiting for them inside. What could be more special than making love under the very gold strings that brought them together. 

Michael’s hands come to rest on his sides and Alex suddenly breaks away with a loud hiss of pain. He looks away as Michael eyes him critically, not wanting to see whatever disgust may be waiting for him as Michael pulls up his shirt and lets out what sounds like a curse word. 

Rather than draw attention to it, Michael simply lowers his shirt and nods to the caves. 

I’LL MEET YOU INSIDE, he signs. 

Alex is about to argue that they can go in together, but the look on Michael’s face tells him that he might need a minute. Alex grabs his phone and heads inside, texting Rosa back on the way. 

> Alex (9:45am): I’ll see you at the bus stop tomorrow at 10. 
> 
> Rosa (9:46am): Love you. 
> 
> Alex (9:46am): Love you more. 

Alex uses his phone as a flashlight as he steps into the cave. He’s just turning around the corner where he can no longer see outside when he hears a loud bang and Michael cry out. He runs back to the entrance in enough time to see Michael with his hands out as a huge wall of dust moves away from them. Michael is shaking. Alex moves to step out of the cave, but feels himself being held in place by an invisible force. 

I’M FINE, Michael signs to him without turning around. 

He is most certainly not fine, but Alex can understand the need to take his anger out on something. He’d given his pillow a rather intense beating last night in his own rage at his father. Michael is entitled to a moment. 

Though he doesn’t want to leave him, Alex turns his back and walks away. Once he reaches the pods, he takes a moment, touching Max’s and Isobel’s, smiling when they do nothing. Confirming that Michael’s is indeed special. That Alex is allowed access to something nobody else in the entire world is able to see: Michael’s heart and soul. His own heart and soul. The way that their lives have been entwined with one another well before they even knew each other’s names. 

He lays his hand against Michael’s pod, smiling as the entire cave lights up with the warm gold glow that is becoming so familiar to Alex. 

His father’s angry words flood back to him, calling him an abomination. Telling him that he doesn’t belong. That he is a freak. The strings blur as his eyes fill with tears he refuses to shed. Alex could never bring his father here, but a part of him wishes that his dad could see. This isn’t just a phase and nothing about Michael and his relationship is an abomination. They are literal soulmates. Interstellar soulmates who’s love story spans space and time. Nothing about that is wrong. Nothing has ever been more right. 

The cave is filled with Michael’s energy everywhere he turns, so he doesn’t notice when Michael first comes in. He doesn’t notice he’s here until Michael places a gentle hand on his back and Alex is jumping, letting go of the pod, turning the cave dark again. 

I DIDN’T MEAN TO SCARE YOU, Michael signs, tossing the blanket and pillows he brought in with him to the side. 

IT’S OKAY, he assures him, taking a moment to catch his breath. He slides his headphones off and pockets them. 

Michael gives him that moment before reaching out. His hands hover over the swollen eye and the cut lip before moving to gently turn his head to the side. The flash of anger in his eyes tells Alex that he’s seen the fingerprints on his throat. His hand eventually settles on his hip, pulling Alex closer to him before wrapping around his back, creating a nice little cocoon between the pod and Michael’s warm body. 

He’s safe here. His father can’t touch him. 

CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED NOW? Michael asks. 

Here, in this moment, where love surrounds him, where everything is all rain and electric energy, the truth about last night feels a million miles away. It’s easier. The words no longer feel stuck. It doesn’t feel like talking about it will send him into a spiral. 

MY DAD GOT MAD AT ME, he admits. 

OBVIOUSLY, BUT WHY? 

Alex takes a deep breath in through his nose and leans back against the pod so that the cave lights up again, a quiet reminder as his vision swims. 

BECAUSE I’M GAY, he signs. 

Alex can hear Michael’s sharp breath and can see his own tears. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. 

He reaches out to place a hand on the side of Michael’s face, smiling when he leans into the touch. He lets go so that he can sign, I KNOW, without having to let go of the pod. 

I CAN’T LOOK AT YOU LIKE THIS AND NOT DO SOMETHING, Michael says, shaking his head and the rocks on the cave floor start to vibrate. Alex doesn’t usually have a problem with Michael displaying his powers when he’s emotional. He knows that Michael will never actually hurt him. But telekinesis inside of an abandoned mine just feels like disaster waiting to happen. 

YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING, YOU’RE HERE WITH ME, he signs, hoping to settle his anxiety. Alex is fine. Or at least, he will be with time. The injuries hurt, but it’s nothing that won’t heal. 

The answering smile he gets in return makes it all worth it. 

I HATE THIS FOR YOU, Michael tells him. 

AND I HATE THAT YOU LIVE OUT OF YOUR TRUCK BECAUSE YOUR FOSTER PARENTS ARE A PIECE OF SHIT, Alex tells him. BUT GRADUATION IS COMING SOON AND THEN WE CAN BOTH BE FREE OF THIS HELL HOLE. 

Michael nods his head. TWO WEEKS, THEN WE’LL GO WHERE EVER YOU WANT TO GO. 

I WANT TO GO TO UNM WITH YOU, he signs. 

Michael’s hands drop and he takes several steps back looking surprised and overwhelmed. Alex can tell it’s not a rejection. He can feel every bit of Michael’s love for him circulating in his veins assuring him as much. So he waits it out, giving Michael time to process. 

REALLY? Michael’s hands shake through the sign and Alex moves away from the pod to wrap his arms around Michael and pull him closer, nodding his head slowly so that there’s no chance he could miss it. 

Michael closes his eyes and practically breathes Alex in. It sends a shock through his body different from the energy he’s used to feeling. This is the same kind of shock he got the first time he saw Marissa kiss Ryan on the OC and realized he wanted to be Marissa. This is the shock that makes his entire body focus on one thing and one thing alone. Michael opens his eyes and stares at him, hungry and determined. He holds his hips away from Michael, knowing that he’s going to get hard the moment Michael kisses him, and Michael is for sure going to kiss him the way that he’s looking him over like some kind of damn treat. 

Michael leans in and nuzzles his nose against Alex’s cheek as his hands find their way to the bottom of Alex’s sweatshirt. 

Alex doesn’t even care if Michael intends for him to or not, he steps back and pulls the damn thing over his head and tosses it to the side. It’s too hot in here anyways even without Michael’s overheated body in his space. He’d only worn it to keep people from seeing his bruises, but Michael already knows what happened and loves him through it anyways. 

WHAT ARE WE DOING? Michael asks, nervously shuffling back and forth on his feet.

WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, he signs, very much hoping that Michael is as ready for this as he is. 

YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO WAIT. 

Alex shakes his head. After bonding for life, sex doesn’t seem like this big scary thing that needs every last moment planned into some perfect romantic thing for fear of becoming an after school special otherwise. Sure, Liz had told him that giving away her virginity had felt like the world’s biggest commitment, but the translation from the pod had called Michael his husband. His _husband_. That’s a much bigger commitment than sex ever could be. 

WAITING SEEMS POINTLESS AFTER EVERYTHING, DON’T YOU THINK? 

Michael looks him up and down with critical eyes, trying to read him, but when Alex doesn’t react, he gives Alex the world’s biggest smile. ABSOLUTELY. 

Michael reaches up and pulls off his shirt, leaving him bare chested. Alex’s eyes roam up and down his body. It’s not the first time that Alex has seen him without a shirt. The desert can get hot at times and Michael is his own furnace, so there’s plenty of times that he’s seen his chest. But this is the first time that he’s seen his bare chest and had the explicit permission to touch with the intention of it going somewhere. 

He reaches out to touch him but his hands hover over his heart for a moment. Michael starts to lean in for a kiss and Alex pulls back. They should probably talk about this while their hands are still free and not busy doing other things. Because the moment Alex is allowed to touch Michael, he doesn’t want to have to let go for the world. 

HAVE YOU EVER DONE THIS BEFORE? he asks nervously, unsure if he wants the answer to that. It’s not that he’ll be jealous or surprised if Michael has. He just never has and doesn’t want to feel like he’s the only one floundering for where to put his hands. 

YES, he signs. BUT NOT LIKE WITH… 

He doesn’t finish that sentence so Alex fills it for him. WITH A GUY? 

Michael blushes and Alex laughs, giddy with the idea that both of them will get to explore this new first together. 

YEAH, Michael signs, and his giggle is one of Alex’s favorite things in the world. It’s breathy and his eyes sparkle with a light that’s too often hidden. Alex always wants to melt at the sight. He’s committed to spending the rest of his life making sure Michael laughs several times a day. 

Michael takes a moment before getting serious again. He reaches out to take Alex’s wrist and rests his hands against Michael’s heart. AND NOT WITH SOMEBODY THAT I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH. 

Alex feels incredibly overwhelmed with the amount of love that he sees in Michael’s eyes. It’s a new emotion that is going to take a lot of time to get used to. He loves Michael back, just as deeply, but the feelings are too strong for him to easily put into words, especially after everything that happened with his dad that he’s still processing. So instead he tries to communicate his feelings in a way he can — through touch. 

He runs his fingers back and forth gently over Michael’s heart, hoping that he can feel just how cherished he is. He enjoys the way that Michael shivers at the touch and how his eyes drop to Alex’s lips, wetting his own. Michael’s hand traces ever so gently over the fingerprints at his throat, then the outline of the bruising around his eye. They fall to hover over his sides, where he can still feel himself being thrown into the kitchen counter. 

ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN’T GOING TO HURT YOU? Michael asks, his face full of worry. I WANT YOU ALEX, BUT I CAN WAIT. 

Alex shakes his head. With the threat of having to stop, Alex finds himself able to communicate with words again. NO, I NEED THIS. PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME STOP. 

His face must read something desperate because Michael immediately starts signing, OKAY, IT’S OKAY, OKAY? WE WON’T STOP. 

Alex nods, blushing at how needy he suddenly is. 

WE’LL JUST GO SLOW, Michael signs. YOU PROMISE TO TELL ME IF ANYTHING HURTS? 

DON’T STOP, Alex signs, his chest clawing painfully with need. 

I WON’T STOP, BUT IF SOMETHING HURTS, WE’LL TAKE A MINUTE AND ADJUST. OKAY? BUT PLEASE DON’T LET ME HURT YOU. 

Alex nods.

I NEED YOU TO USE YOUR WORDS, BABE, he signs. 

Alex reaches out to grab onto Michael’s wrist this time and places it against his cheek. He leans into the touch, letting Michael’s fingers press into the bruise around his eye. It stings for a moment when the first shock hits, but as Michael’s energy flows into him, Alex finds it much easier to ignore the pain and focus exclusively on how good Michael feels. His hands are better than any prescription painkiller could ever be. 

YOUR TOUCH COULD NEVER HURT ME, ONLY HEAL, he reassures him. 

Michael pulls his hands away quickly and signs, I DON’T HEAL. THAT’S JUST MAX. 

NO, he reaches back out for Michael’s hand and places it against his own heart. He’s sure that Michael can feel how his heart is racing and breathing is shallow with nerves, but he doesn’t care. Michael should feel the effect he has on him. IT’S JUST YOU. THE BOND. YOUR LOVE. 

Michael ducks his head down but it can’t hide the blush on his cheeks. Alex places a finger under his chin and guides his face up until he can see that beautiful face of Michael’s. 

I LOVE YOU, he signs, needing to make sure that part is clear. 

They both stare at each other as the energy in the room electrifies to the point where Alex is positive that Michael is as turned on as he is. He shuffles on his feet, drinking in this moment and the hungry longing look in Michael’s eyes. He takes a small step towards Michael. He smiles as Michael leans in but he’s also distracted with looking at Alex up and down like he can’t quite believe he’s allowed to have this. Michael’s hesitant to touch. 

Well screw that. Michael deserves the fucking world for all the joy he’s brought into Alex’s life. He takes one more steadying breath, letting the scent of intoxicating rain make him brave. He raises his hands to Michael’s face and he kisses him slow and steadily, giving their energy time to mix and settle. He can hear Michael breathe in deeply. He can tell by the sigh of relief that follows and the way Michael’s body relaxes that he feels the same love fill his veins. 

The best part about being soulmates, Alex has decided, other than the utter security of knowing this thing is unbreakable between them, is the way their bodies have the ability to stitch every broken part back together again until it doesn’t even feel like there’s a scar left. Not when they are together. 

Michael’s hand moves to his neck, making his bruises tingle instead of ache. It feels good and the shock that it sends him goes straight to his dick. 

They part for a breath and Alex’s hands move around to bury themselves in Michael’s curls and pull him closer. This time the kiss is less controlled, more hungry. Michael’s hands drop to Alex’s T-shirt and start lifting up the hem. Alex raises his arms up to help the process along. 

Michael looks down at his bare chest and can’t help his gasp. 

JESUS ALEX, Michael drops to his knees to examine his chest and Alex’s arms move to cover himself, knowing what Michael is seeing. He saw how bad his injuries were this morning. 

Michael grabs both of his wrist and holds them to the side so that he can take in all of the damage. When he looks up at Alex, it’s with watery eyes. I’M GOING TO KILL HIM. 

Alex shakes his head, burying one hand in his hair and signing, NO MORE HURTING. ONLY HEALING. 

Michael looks like he wants to argue with him. Like he wants to explode something with his brain. But the ground doesn’t vibrate and no rocks erupt. 

ONLY HEALING, he signs again and Micheal finally nods, leaning his head forward until it rests against his stomach. 

Alex massages his scalp with one hand as the other one rests against the back of his neck, holding him close. Not that Michael seems like he’s moving anytime soon. Michael nuzzles into Alex and it’s an incredibly sweet and tender moment. Alex’s brain should absolutely not be thinking about how beautiful Michael looks on his knees. Nor should his dick be getting increasingly harder. But he’s only seventeen and he’s never had a boy on his knees for him before, where else is his brain supposed to go? 

His eyes go to the ceiling, wishing not for the first time, that there was a way to make the strings appear without needing to touch the pod. He wants to make love under the golden glow but can’t imagine not using two hands on Michael right now. Michael gets his attention back with a wet kiss to his stomach. 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? he asks with a fond smile as Michael watches his reaction with a playful smirk. 

HEALING, he signs before grabbing the back of his thighs and pulling Alex impossibly closer. 

His dick brushes against Michael and Alex lets out an embarrassing moan that he’s sure Michael can feel giving how his lips are against his stomach, but he ignores it in favor of placing light kisses against one of the bruises on Alex’s hip. He doesn’t even remember how he’s gotten that one. All he knows is that Michael’s lips feel heavenly and he wants more. 

Michael’s tongue traces the outline of the bruise and Alex’s knees grow weak from the touch. But what really does him in is when Michael blows gently against the wet spot left by his tongue. 

“Shit,” he whispers to himself, hands fisting at his sides to keep from doing anything embarrassing. 

Michael shouldn’t be able to hear him, but the amused smirk he sends his way certainly makes it seem like he does. Either that, or he’s got more psychic abilities than he’s disclosed. Alex only had the chance to question the extent of Michael’s powers for another moment. Soon enough Michael’s hands start rubbing at the back of his thighs and his mouth starts to truly explore and Alex has to focus the entirety of his attention on not falling over. 

Michael lets go of his thighs and Alex doesn’t realize just how unsteady he is on his feet until he can feel an invisible weight against him, holding him in place. Michael’s hands grab his wrist and Alex watches, impossibly turned on, as Michael places his hands on the back of his head. He nods, encouraging Alex to touch and he needs no more permission to bury his hands in Michael’s soft curls. 

Once Alex begins massaging at his scalp, holding Michael in place, Michael loosens his grip on his wrists but never loses contact. Slowly, like he’s something precious to be treasured, Michael’s hands move up his forearms and across his shoulders, the pads of his fingertips rough and yet gentle. His hands trail a path down his chest, thumbs catching on his nipples and Alex sucks in a breath as he grows impossibly hard. 

Curious. He never thought about his nipples being sensitive before. It had never done anything for him when it was just him in his bedroom trying to figure out what he liked on the off chance he ever found somebody willing to crawl into bed with him. But with Michael, everything is different. The little bolts of electricity that come out of his fingers certainly help, but Alex is pretty sure Michael wouldn’t need alien powers and soulmate bonds to turn him on as much as he does. 

Once his hands reach his stomach, Michael’s lips begin to trail alongside his touches. Every touch he can feel deep in his core, a gentle sample begging to be so much more, and Alex wants. His hands fist in Michael’s hair, silently begging him to keep going and never stop. The energy within him, Michael’s energy, doesn’t just grow warm like always, but it starts burning hot. Pleading. 

Alex gasps with every touch and lets out a needy whine each time his lips brush over one of his many bruises. Michael won’t hear them, but Alex is confident that he can feel him, given how the energy coming from Michael increases with each sound Alex makes. 

Michael’s fingers rub at the skin right above his waistband, so close to where Alex can admit to wanting him. He closes his eyes, because if he keeps looking at Michael on his knees, licking and kissing him greedily, Alex is not going to be able to stop from pressing his dick into his face, and that would be mortifying. Michael nuzzles his face against his thigh and breathes in deep, and Alex nearly loses his shit. 

Michael looks up and meets his eyes. He runs a single finger over Alex’s belt, asking for permission. And sure, Alex knew when he asked if Michael was ready for this, that logically, they would end up here. But talking about having sex and actually seeing Michael on his knees biting his lips, eyes nearly black with want? Those are two different things. 

Michael doesn’t do anything more than trace his belt buckle and wait patiently while Alex builds up the courage to say yes to something they both want. It’s not that he doesn't want to be naked with Michael. He’s just never been naked with anyone, and thinking about being the first one to bare it all has him feeling nervous. Alex’s hands fall from Michael’s curls and move to cover his stomach as he shifts awkwardly on his feet. 

DO YOU WANT TO STOP OR DO YOU JUST NEED A MINUTE? Michael asks, eyes never wavering from his face and Alex couldn’t lie right now even if he wanted to. 

I’VE NEVER BEEN NAKED IN FRONT OF ANYONE, he admits, his signs small and kept close to his body. 

Michael stands up so quickly Alex can hear his knees pop. He hooks his fingers in his own waistband and strips himself of both his jeans and his boxers. In an instant, Michael is standing in front of him completely naked. Not an ounce of fanfare or shame. 

BETTER? he asks. 

Alex doesn’t even have words. Of course it’s better. It’s glorious. 

Michael is every bit as gorgeous as he imagined him to be. And with the way his dick is bright red and rock hard, Alex has solid proof that Michael is enjoying this as much as he is. Alex struggles to take a deep breath as his eyes won’t stop roaming his body, but his hands find their way to his own belt buckle and he starts to undo it. 

It’s all the permission Michael needs. 

He drops back to his knees and pulls the belt through the belt loops and tosses it aside. Alex’s hands go to the button of his jeans, but Michael smacks them aside and undoes the button and zipper himself, all the while, his eyes never leave Alex’s. He’s not sure what Michael is looking for, but he smiles at him encouragingly even as his body feels like it’s about to overheat. 

Michael’s fingers hook into his waistband, and the slightest brush against a part of his body that only he has ever touched has his breath coming in ragged. It doesn’t remotely help when Michael places an open mouth kiss against the exposed skin directly above the waistband of his boxers.

PLEASE, he signs, not caring how needy it comes across. Michael’s eyes go nearly black at the sign. TOUCH ME. 

Michael licks a strip all the way up to his navel before he starts pulling off the rest of his clothes. 

Alex nearly trips over himself stepping out of his boxers and Michael is kind enough not to laugh, even though he looks like he wants to. The moment Michael’s eyes come face to face with his already leaking dick, all humor is lost. The sound Michael makes can only be equated to a whine. He rests his head against his belly before grabbing at his thighs, squeezing tight and Alex can tell that he is every bit as overwhelmed with it all as he is.

Alex pets at his curls, trying to offer comfort before realizing that it’s probably not the sexiest thing in the world. To be pet like that while Michael is about to go down on him? Only, Michael doesn’t seem to mind. The moment he starts to move his hand away, Michael chases after the touch, looking up at him with need. 

So… perhaps Alex isn’t really a good judge as to what is and isn’t sexy? After all, how could he be? He’s never so much as had a boyfriend before Michael. He’s grown up in fear of expressing any kind of sexuality due to his dad. He’s never even watched more than a handful of porn videos, before he got freaked out at hearing that there were ways to view somebody’s browser history after the history had already been cleared. 

Thinking about his dad makes his bruises ache again, but that pain is momentary because a second later, Michael licks at his head and Alex has to reach out for Michael’s shoulders to keep from falling over. When he meets Michael’s eyes, he’s laughing at him. Any sassy comeback he could usually clap back with is immediately covered by a loud moan when Michael licks at him again, his tongue circling the head a few times, dipping his tongue in the slit with a grin as Alex tightens his hand minutely.

Alex watches Michael reach out to take hold of him and his calloused, rough hands are like heaven. It feels so much better than his own hands. Michael pumps him a few times, dragging the neediest of moans out of him. He catches the drops of precome he’s already leaking and uses it in place of the lube neither of them thought ahead to bring. Michael pumps his hand, tightening his grip as he catalogues Alex’s reactions. 

Alex has heard the locker room stories. He knows that his classmates talk about how long they can last as they brag about their thirty minute blow jobs. And Alex now has the experience to back up what a load of shit that is. Michael’s been at this for less than a minute and Alex is already sure there’s no way in hell he’ll even make it another three minutes. 

Michael licks at his head again while continuing to pump him. Alex’s hands fly back to his hair, needing something to hold onto. The moment his hands fist, Michael moans and it sends vibrations throughout him. It’s intoxicating and he both needs it to stop and wants it to continue on forever. He has to concentrate so that he doesn’t accidentally thrust into Michael’s mouth like a greedy asshole. 

Michael opens his mouth and Alex watches in complete disbelief and bliss as his mouth sinks down around him. He doesn’t go deep, but it doesn’t matter. Alex can already feel his orgasm building. Michael’s warm tongue circles around the head. The hand not currently pumping him to the point of making his toes curl in ecstasy moves from the back of his thighs to grab at his ass. 

Alex can’t help the small thrust he makes. He’s instantly mortified. But Michael doesn’t seem to mind as he continues to pump him and suck at him like some damn sinful lollipop. 

Fuck. 

It should be a crime for a boy to look so good on his knees, but Michael looks damn good. 

Alex breathes in through his nose and struggles to hold back the orgasm that he knows is coming. At least as long as it takes to give Michael some warning. He uses his grip on Michael’s head to try and pull him away, but he fights against his touch. Alex looks down at him, trying to get his attention to signal that he’s about to come. When Michael’s eyes meet his own and he can see just how wrecked Michael looks with his lips around his dick and his eyes blacker than Alex has ever seen them, he cannot stop himself. 

“Shit,” he curses, though for nobody’s benefit but his own because Michael will never hear him. 

His vision blacks out for a second before the world goes bright. Iridescent pink and gold strings wrap around them both and alien symbols appear, though he’s too fucked up to try and read them, even though he’s sure he could in this moment. 

He looks down at Michael, who is attempting to swallow around him what he can, but plenty of it flows out and down his chin, until he looks absolutely filthy. It’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen, and here in this moment where their bond is so strong and the energy between them is going haywire, there’s no shame in it. He’s sure there’s a reality where he will blush about this later, but right now? Surrounded by their unique magic, Alex can’t care. 

At some point, he’s aware of the fact that Michael is holding up his entire weight with his powers. It takes him longer to recover his senses than it does when it’s his own hand getting him off. Once the strings and symbols fade from his eyes and he’s able to think somewhat clearly again, he looks at Michael. He’s sitting back on his heels and wiping his chin off with his hand and then looking down at it with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Alex shakes his foot to get his attention. When Michael looks up at him, he signs, SORRY. I TRIED TO WARN YOU. 

Alex is sure that he’s blushing, and covers his stomach, as if that is going to save any of his dignity. 

NO, IT’S GOOD. IT WAS HOT, Michael signs before licking one of his fingers. Alex’s dick gives a painful twitch and he lets out a whine as his brain instantly recalls just how good Michael’s tongue had felt a few moments earlier. 

REALLY? he asks, unsure if he should believe Michael or not. He nods and it doesn’t look like he’s lying. It has Alex curious if he would feel the same way if he sucked Michael off. 

WHAT DID IT TASTE LIKE? he asks, his signs small and close to his body, unsure if it’s remotely something he’s allowed to ask. He’s just curious. He’s thought about it. Rosa and Maria have told him that it’s nasty. That neither of them care for giving blow jobs. But he looks like he enjoys it and it makes Alex interested in trying for himself. 

Michael stands up, licking the rest of his fingers with a smile, then rubs his hand on his thigh. 10 OUT OF 10, WOULD TRY AGAIN. 

Alex flushes as heat pools his system at Michael’s confidence. It’s sexy as hell and something he can only ever dream of having for himself. His eyes travel over Michael’s body as he licks his lips, thinking about how he’s going to make Michael come. Before they go any further though, he feels like he should talk to Michael about what he saw when he was coming. He hadn’t thought the strings were visible without touching the pod, but then again, it’s not like either of them have been bonded long enough to have all of the answers. 

DID YOU SEE THE STRINGS? he asks, watching Michael move to pick up the blanket and pillows that were discarded before. 

YEAH, WHEN WE TOUCHED THE POD BEFORE, Michael responds, giving him a curious look. DID THE ORGASM MAKE YOU LOOSE TIME? CAUSE I GOTTA SAY, NOBODY’S EVER REPORTED BACK I HAVE THAT KIND OF TALENT, BUT, HEY. I WON’T DENY IT HELPS THE EGO. 

Alex rolls his eyes as he steps closer to the pod to help Michael spread the blanket out. NO. WHEN I WAS… YOU KNOW. I SAW THE STRINGS. 

WHEN YOU WERE COMING? Michael asks with a smile. YOU CAN SAY THE WORD ALEX. IF YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO SAY IT, WE PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE DOING IT. 

Alex glares at him but it doesn’t last long. It can’t. Not with the way Michael is standing there giddy as hell, looking like Christmas came early. 

SO YOU DIDN’T SEE THE STRINGS? He asks again, brushing right past his teasing. Alex will grow more comfortable talking about the details of their sex life the more they do it. Because they will keep doing this. Over and over for the rest of their lives. That’s what the bond means. 

And that has Alex smiling wide, sure that he looks every bit as giddy as Michael does. 

I DIDN’T SEE THE STRINGS, he signs. BUT I ALSO WASN’T THE ONE HAVING AN ORGASM SO… Michael shrugs. 

WELL WE SHOULD CORRECT THAT, Alex signs back, sitting down on the blanket that’s now laid out. He beckons Michael to join him with his finger and Michael promptly takes a seat. 

I WON’T COMPLAIN, Michael giggles. He’s spread out, not a care in the world that he’s completely naked and his dick is still half hard. Alex can’t help but lean in for a kiss that starts out sweet but quickly becomes sloppy as they both moan, needing more, faster, now. 

Alex can’t stop himself from reaching down between them and wrapping his hand around Michael. He gives soft, tentative strokes as he gets a feel for the dick in his hands. It’s thicker than his own, slightly longer. The hotness and weight of it makes Alex’s mouth water, but he might not be completely ready for that. Yet. 

Still, he wants to make Michael feel as good as he just did. Wants him to feel the overpowering energy rushing through his veins. Wants to see if he sees the strings and symbols and if he’s coherent enough to read them. Though, shamelessly, he hopes that Michael is just as blissed out as he had been and can’t see straight enough to make sense of anything. 

Just thinking about the rush of emotions makes him tighten his hand which in turn makes Michael suck in a deep breath. He’s definitely affected and that’s empowering. His lips press against Michael’s with more hunger and Alex can actually feel Michael’s moan vibrate through him. He smiles through the kiss, tongue pressing against Michael’s without any kind of finesse, but doesn’t seem to mind much. 

Michael’s hands move into his hair, holding him in place. As if he’s leaving anytime soon. Alex’s hands fumble when Michel’s leg brushes against his own dick which has already grown hard again. He can’t help but rut against Michael’s leg. 

Faster than he can blink and 100% with the help of some sneaky telekinesis, Alex is on his back with Michael hovering over him, hands pinned to the ground. Alex isn’t sure where the growl he lets out comes from, but he pushes his hands out of Michael’s grip and flips them over until he’s straddling Michael and holding his chest down. 

IT’S MY TURN, Alex signs, glaring down at him. There’s a flame in his eyes underneath all of the lust and Alex takes a mental note for later, when he has time to actually process all of this.

YES IT IS, he signs with a smirk, raising his eyebrow at him in challenge. It sends a wave of desire moving through him. 

Never in Alex’s life has he backed down from a dare and he’s not about to start now, when he’s been presented with every last one of his fantasies. He grinds his dick against Michael’s and both of them hiss as a wave of electricity moves through them suddenly. It’s not painful, it’s just new.

Michael grabs at his hip when he starts to move away and holds him in place as his hips move, seeking friction. Alex could tease him, but he doesn’t want to. He just wants to help Michael feel as good as he feels. Help him feel as loved as he does. 

They rub against each other for several minutes. Long enough for Alex to be mindful of how much more in control of his orgasms Michael is. It would make him self-conscious except that it feels silly to worry about the sex Michael has had before when they are literally soulmates. There isn’t anything to be jealous of when you know that somebody is your forever. 

Michael pulls on his hip until both of their dicks are pressed deliciously together but doesn’t allow Alex to press together any further. Alex sends him a questioning look that is immediately answered when he grabs his wrist and brings it to their dicks. He wraps Alex’s hand around the two of them and covers his hand with his own. Michael sets the pace as they start to stroke each other together. 

It’s unpracticed and clumsy. They could use more lube and both of their hands are rough. But it’s Michael and things could never be anything less than perfect with him. They’ll get better with practice and time. 

Michael’s eyes close tight as his breathing grows shallow. He’s panting and though his mouth is open trying to bring in more air in between moans, there’s a soft smile growing on his face. Alex wants to memorize it and pull out on his worst days. He still can’t quite believe that this is something he’s allowed to have. 

He rests his forehead against Michael’s as his own breathing grows more and more difficult. A string of incoherent words flow out of him. But what actually does him in is when Michael lets out what is almost certainly an approximation of the word, “Fuck” right as he arches his back and comes over both of their stomachs, much of it dripping down their fists. He watches in awe as Michael’s eyes open and look around in wonder. Alex is certain that he’s seeing the strings. 

He lets go of Michael when he starts hissing in pain, and grips himself tighter, pumping a few more times before he’s coming again, all over Michael’s stomach, the sky alight with gold and pink. 

He collapses against Michael, no longer able to hold himself up. As soon as the strings fade, he closes his eyes, exhausted. He allows Michael to roll him onto his back and his eyes close easily, ready for a nap after a long sleepless night. He can vaguely feel Michael cleaning them off with some kind of cloth, but he doesn’t open his eyes to see what it is. 

He’s safe, warm, and surrounded by love. 

****

Michael sits against the pod, staring down at a sleeping Alex. He takes comfort in how at peace Alex looks, despite the fact that he remains black and blue all over. He’s happy to share his safe space with Alex. Even happier to know that this place has accepted Alex so readily. While he does wish that he could see the strings just by touching the pod, he kind of loves that it’s something that he can only see at Alex’s side. Loves that Alex has a purpose here. A home. 

He just wishes that Alex didn’t need it. He is gorgeous no matter what he looks like, but seeing the bruising makes Michael want to explode with anger — something he hasn’t done since he was a kid and learned he’d better control his powers or risk another painful exorcism. Michael can’t lie though, he has been thinking all day about killing Jesse Manes. It’s not like he doesn’t know how. He may not have Max’s abilities to burn people from the inside or whatever, but he has his telekinesis. He could just as easily push Jesse in front of a moving train and nobody would be the wiser. 

The problem is his conscience. Mainly that he has one. He’s not Max. He doesn’t have some deeply seeded darkness consuming him daily that he can call upon. He’s not Isobel. He can’t black out the ugly parts of life that he doesn’t like. If he were to kill Jesse Manes, he would have to live with that the rest of his life. Just like he still lives with that drifter that Max killed. But for Alex? Michael would do it. 

Push come to shove, he knows that he will do whatever it takes to protect Alex. 

For now, murder isn’t in the cards. Alex has just needed a safe place to go for the weekend and Michael has been happy to provide that. They’ve stayed in this cave together all day and night, eating whatever food he’s had stashed away in his truck, ignoring the outside world. Alex had turned his phone off after the first time his dad had called looking for him, and Michael had promised him that he could stay here as long as he needed. 

When they haven’t been taking the time to explore each other or napping, they’ve been talking. They’ve made detailed plans for how they are going to escape after graduation. Michael and Alex have both been saving money up from their minimum wage jobs for life after high school. They almost have enough for what a security deposit in Albuquerque will probably be. The night of graduation, they plan on getting in Michael’s truck and going. They can find jobs when they get there and just be free. Alex will work full time and write music on the side, knowing he won’t ever be able to pay for college himself without his dad’s support. And Michael will work part time between classes. Between the two of them, they should be able to afford a studio apartment somewhere and just be free of it all. Free and together. 

Knowing they have a plan with an end in sight is the one thing that keeps Michael from driving over to Alex’s house and letting Jesse Manes have it. 

Out of nowhere, a flash of pain moves through him and all he can hear is Isobel screaming. He cries out, causing Alex to wake up, but he can’t see whatever Alex is signing to him because a second later an image flashes across his brain. 

A cave…. A mine… Like this one but different. He focuses some more and another image flashes through his mind. 

A girl. Dead on the ground. Isobel. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience. As many of you know, I have been taking a hiatus from fandom after I got a lot of harassment on Tumblr and AO3. I can't promise when the next chapter will be up as I'm still being very tentative around fandom as a whole, but I hope you all enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> TW: This chapter involves both Rosa's actual death by Noah (as Isobel) and the moment that lead Alex to decide to help Michael and Max cover up the murder. While all of this is canon-level violence, you may want to tread carefully.

**June 2018**

Michael is sitting at the bar with Isobel, trying to ignore the worry he can feel pushing at him through their connection. He’s long since learned to separate his own feelings out from his siblings, but it’s still hard at times when the feelings are strong, and so Isobel’s worries have Michael feeling on edge. It doesn’t help that he can feel his connection to Alex from across the bar, but isn’t allowed to do anything about it. Being this close and having to pretend they aren’t anything to each other is always brutal. 

So he’s been sitting here listening to Isobel complain about Max for the last hour or so. Michael understands her fears. Max’s entire energy has been off in a way it hasn't been for years, perhaps since they were kids. He can feel the same darkness coming off of Max that she can. He knows there’s something going on, he just doesn’t know how to help when the last time he tried, he got punched in the face for it. 

_What are you still doing here? You hate it here,_ he tells her, raising his empty glass to Maria, signaling that he’d like another round. 

Well, that’s not entirely true. What he’d like is to not have to be in the same bar as Alex, feeling his energy and not able to go over there and talk to him. He’d like to be at home with Alex, preferably in bed, making up for lost time. However, Alex’s friends have dragged him out tonight to celebrate his promotion and so, here they are. Michael’s not sure what there is to celebrate. He certainly isn’t raising a glass in congratulations about the entire thing. But Alex hadn’t felt like he could say no, and the reminder that they have another four years of this has Michael needing a drink. 

_ I already told you, I want you to talk to Max,  _ Isobel tells him. 

He laughs at that.  _ Last time I talked to Max, he punched me in the face.  _

Michael points at the cut on his cheek, in case she hadn’t noticed before. 

_ Exactly,  _ she argues.  _ He’s not himself.  _

Michael sighs. He’s been done with this conversation since the topic switched from the sale of Foster Ranch to Max. They’ve been talking about Max for the last week, trying to work through their anger and fear over the entire Liz situation. 

_ I know you guys haven’t been the same since that night, but you’ve always been the one he listens to,  _ Isobel says, pushing at their connection annoyingly to the point where he pushes back. 

_ Max stopped listening to me years ago,  _ he snaps, urging her to drop it.  _ Mr. High and Mighty isn’t going to take life advice from a degenerate like me.  _

_ You’re not a degenerate, you have your doctorate,  _ Isobel says with a sigh so strong that he can feel the breath leave her.  _ He listens to you. He just doesn’t think you like him anymore.  _

_ Yeah, well, maybe I don’t,  _ he says, downing the glass that Maria has brought him. He loves Max, he does. He’s always felt protective over him, but lately Max has been pissing him off. 

He stands up, feeling angsty and needing to move. 

_ That’s not true,  _ she argues.  _ We’re family.  _

Michael snorts.  _ No, we’re not. We all just happened to hitch the same doomed ride on the same intergalactic Titanic. The day Mr. and Mrs. Evans walked into the group home and they… they picked you two and left me behind, that was decided.  _

Michael isn’t entirely sure it’s fair to say that they aren’t family. They certainly are something. But Michael has never quite gotten over what happened that day in the group home. That day, he’d had his siblings ripped away from him so severely that he’d actually triggered his bond with Alex. At seven years old, he’d triggered a bond that can only be triggered by severe trauma. 

And no matter how much he appreciates his bond with Alex, he won’t ever forget what it felt like to spend his nights reaching out for a connection to his siblings that was severed the moment the Evans family took Max and Isobel away from him. 

_ Max has spent his entire life trying to make up for that one awful moment. It wasn’t his fault. We were seven,  _ Isobel argues her face growing increasingly angry. 

_ After you killed those girls, you still got to leave, _ she says, causing him to flinch.  _ You got to go off to college and live your life. And Max stayed behind. He never traveled. Never wrote his novel. He stayed here and became a cop. For you.  _

Michael wants out of this conversation as quickly as he can. Every time Isobel brings up the fact that he murdered somebody, she always talks about it like he’s the lucky one. Like he’d gotten off scot free. It’s hilarious to him. She is the one that got off scot free. She murdered three girls — she murdered Alex’s best friend — and she doesn’t even remember it. He’d taken the fall for her to ease her conscience, knowing that her mind was already struggling to process. 

For her to imply that he doesn’t live with that night every day of his life is a joke. He is the one that had to cover up the murder. He’s the one responsible for the Ortecho’s lives being ruined as the town turned against them. Max is the one who gave up his own dreams to stay home and make sure that Isobel was always protected. Max became a cop for  _ Isobel _ . They both had sacrificed a lot for Isobel. 

And he can’t ever tell her. He has to continue to act like everything is fine and he’s the murderous one because neither Max nor he understand what happened that night. And they are both terrified of Isobel breaking and losing control like that again. 

Michael looks over at Alex for some support, hoping to pull on their bond to ease some of his own frustration and pain. But when he catches sight of Alex, his face is pale and his eyes are unfocused. Michael pushes more of his energy through their connection, trying to send Alex comfort as well as get his attention. It works, Alex blinks a few times before looking over at him. His face set in a neutral mask, but Michael knows him well enough to be concerned. Something bad has happened. 

Michael’s hand drops to his side and he very subtly signs, BATHROOM? 

Alex stands up quickly, saying something to his friends that Michael can’t read. He then heads to the restrooms in the back. Michael counts all the way to sixty before allowing himself to stand up to follow. 

_ Where are you going?  _ Isobel asks him. 

_ I’ll be back. Gotta hit the head,  _ he says. 

Isobel makes a face.  _ Can’t you just say you need to use the restroom?  _

He ignores her and makes his way down the narrow hallway to the bathroom, worry building with each step as he tries to figure out what is going on. He opens the door, immediately taking notice of the way Alex is pacing the floor. He steps inside and locks the door behind him. 

WHAT HAPPENED? he signs, trying to send love and comfort through the connection so that Alex will stop pacing. Michael had already been on edge dealing with all of Isobel’s anxiety mixed with his own. 

Alex doesn’t say anything, he simply holds out his phone where the screen is flashing a red alert. It takes Michael a moment or two to process what it is exactly that he’s looking at. Then his face drops as realization dawns. 

Alex’s phone has been hacked, just like they’d always feared would one day happen. 

WHY NOW? he asks as his stomach starts to twist and his heart leaps up into his throat. 

Alex shakes his head, pocketing his phone as he continues to pace, which only increases the anxiety that Michael is feeling. If Alex is worried, then Michael is fucking terrified. 

DO YOU THINK THEY KNOW ABOUT MAX? he asks, trying to figure out what set Jesse off. They’ve flown under the radar for ten years. After they managed to pull Alex away from Project Shepard, things had quieted down. They still had to be extremely careful not to be caught together, but they’d expected this hack years ago… So Michael is struggling to figure out what’s changed recently aside from Max saving Liz. 

And if Project Shepard knows about Max saving Liz, then they are well and truly screwed. 

Alex stops pacing and leans against the wall, running his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated as he tries to think. 

I CHECKED THE POLICE RECORDS, Alex signs, more to himself than Michael but at least he’s signing so that Michael can follow along. THE RECORDS HADN’T BEEN ACCESSED BY ANYONE AND EVEN IF THEY HAD, THEY JUST SAID THAT THE WINDOWS GOT SHOT UP AND BROKE SOME KETCHUP BOTTLES. THE REPORTS DON’T EVEN HINT THAT LIZ GOT SHOT. THERE’S NO REASON THAT ANYTHING SHOULD HAVE RAISED ANY FLAGS ON… 

Alex stops signing as his eyes grow wide. FUCK. 

WHAT? Michael asks. 

OKAY, DON’T BE MAD, Alex signs, which is a great way to start any conversation. 

Michael doesn’t respond, but his eyes narrow, knowing that whatever Alex is about to tell him, he’s not going to like it. 

LIZ ASKED KYLE TO SEE ROSA’S MORGUE RECORDS. 

Michael’s hands curl into fists as he forces himself to breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth. This is the shit he was worried about when Max saved Liz. This is why he didn’t want Max telling Liz the truth. 

WHY? he signs carefully, working very hard not to take his anger out on Alex. 

IT’S THE ANNIVERSARY OF HER DEATH, Alex signs carefully, which tells Michael that Alex is very much aware that he has a right to be angry. SHE’S TRYING TO FIND CLOSURE. 

IN HER AUTOPSY? he signs. 

He rubs his face before running his hands through his hair as he thinks through the implications of Liz getting a hand on her sister’s autopsy. Yes, Michael is aware that a fake one is on file thanks to Project Shepard so that anyone flipping through the files would assume the party line — that Rosa died in a car crash while driving high. But Liz isn’t just anyone. She’s both Rosa’s family and a scientist with a doctorate in her own right. If anyone is going to find a flaw in the autopsy and pick at it? It’ll be Liz Ortecho. 

YOU THINK LIZ REPORTED US? he asks. Alex had been sure that Liz would keep their secret, but that was before she started digging into Rosa’s death. If Liz finds out that an alien killed her sister, there won’t be any protecting them, soulmate bond or not. 

Alex shrugs. I MEAN THE AUTOPSY WAS FAKED BY PROJECT SHEPARD. IF THEY WERE SMART, THEY WOULD HAVE ALERTS IN PLACE TO TELL THEM ANYTIME SOMEBODY ACCESSED IT. SHE DOESN’T NECESSARILY KNOW ANYTHING. 

Yet. Liz may not know anything yet, but it’s just a matter of time. 

It feels like somebody is sitting on his chest. The walls feel closer, and the air feels thicker. Michael is struggling to remain calm. 

OKAY, ONE THING AT A TIME, he tries to reason. YOU THINK ACCESSING THE REPORT HAS YOUR DAD LOOKING INTO YOU AGAIN? 

MAYBE? Alex signs. OTHERWISE, OUR LIFE IS JUST A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS. 

In situations like this, Michael usually relies on Alex to be the calm, cool, collected one. But right now, Alex doesn’t look to be any of those things. He’s pale and jittery. His eyes are wide and alert, constantly moving around the room like a threat is going to come at any given moment. And as much as Michael wants to curl up in a ball and give up, he knows that he’s going to have to push all of his own fears and anxieties down for the time being to comfort Alex. 

He steps forward, opening his arms for Alex until he falls into them. Alex’s head goes to his shoulder as his arms wrap around his waist. Michael rubs his back, feeling the static electricity of their bond between them. He closes his eyes and rests his chin against Alex’s head and breathes in deep, focusing only on the bond. They both have a lot of fear, but they’ve still got each other. They’ve still got their connection. 

Michael holds Alex tight, allowing their energy to mix and do its job, stitching at the broken pieces. Filling each other with love, warmth, and safety. The bond was made for this very reason. So that neither of them had to feel alone or scared. So that they would always have each other. Michael doesn’t let go until he feels Alex’s breathing even out and the tension in his shoulders start to relax, and even then, he holds on for a few minutes longer. 

Eventually, Alex’s hands drop to his sides and he pulls away. 

THANKS, I WAS SPIRALING A BIT, Alex admits. 

Michael gives him a soft smile. ME TOO. 

Alex nods and Michael is happy that, though he can still see the anxiety in Alex’s eyes, his color has returned and he’s holding himself together better. 

SO WE CURRENTLY HAVE TWO PROBLEMS, Michael signs. Technically, they’ve got three, but Michael figures that he can deal with Max on his own, he doesn’t need to pile another thing on Alex’s shoulders. WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LIZ FINDING OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT ROSA AND YOUR DAD FINDING OUT ABOUT ME. 

Alex nods. 

WHAT DO WE DO? he asks. Alex is the strategy guy. Michael knows a lot about a lot of things, but Alex is the one who has always mapped out their strategy. He trusts Alex to know the next right move here. 

FIRST THING WE NEED TO DO IS WIPE OUR PHONES AND STOP USING THEM, he signs. 

Michael shakes his head as his hand goes straight to his pocket, as if somebody is going to come along and take his phone away from him. Their phones are the only lifeline they have to each other. His phone is the only place he’s allowed to store their memories together. The only place he has any pictures of Alex. The only way he’s able to message Alex when they are apart. Alex can’t expect him to just give that up. 

I DON’T LIKE IT EITHER, BUT IT’S NOT WORTH THE RISK, Alex explains. 

BUT IF WE CAN’T BE SEEN TOGETHER AND WE CAN’T EVEN TALK… Michael trails off, unable to even finish that sentence, it hurts too much to even think about. 

His mind can’t help but go back to before. Before Alex had learned enough cyber security to create their encrypted phones. Life had been miserable then. On Michael’s good days, he feels cut off from the world. Being Deaf in a hearing world will do that to a person. He can’t communicate freely with many people. It’s all hastily written notes, words barely understood because his lipreading skills are so poor, and so much frustration. To the world, Michael is a hassle. Communicating with him takes more work than most people are willing to give. 

So when Alex had shipped off for Basic and they’d had no way to safely communicate, Micheal had felt alone in a way that he hadn’t felt since he was a kid. These days Michael’s daily messages back and forth with Alex are what keep him going. He can’t believe Alex would even suggest giving that up. 

I’LL TRY AND COME UP WITH SOME WAY TO COMMUNICATE SAFELY, I PROMISE, Alex signs, before holding out his hand for Michael’s phone. 

Michael’s eyes fill with tears. No phone means no photos. No messages. No music. No holding the speaker against his heart when he’s feeling anxious and feeling the soft vibrations of Alex’s voice settling against his heart. It seems silly to be so attached to a device, but his phone is his lifeline. 

YOUR DAD HAS ONLY HACKED INTO YOUR PUBLIC PHONE, he signs, desperate for an excuse to hang on. 

I’M SORRY, I’M REALLY SORRY, Alex signs. BUT THE ENCRYPTION ON OUR PHONES KEEPS US SAFE FOR A BIT. BUT IT’S NOT PERFECT. IF HE’S GOTTEN INTO MY PUBLIC PHONE, IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE GETS INTO MY PRIVATE ONE. AND NEITHER OF US CAN AFFORD PROJECT SHEPARD FINDING OUT THAT WE’RE TOGETHER. 

Michael closes his eyes and pictures how scared Alex had been when he’d been taken and held by Project Shepard. He forces himself to remember the fear he’d felt when he thought that he was going to lose Alex. And it’s only his desire to protect Alex from ever feeling that pain again that gives him the strength to pull his Alex-phone out of his pocket and hand it over. 

I LIVE HERE NOW, Alex reminds him, taking the phone and placing it in his own pocket. WE’LL FIND A WAY TO STILL SEE EACH OTHER REGULARLY AND SAFELY. YOU WON’T BE ALONE. 

And that’s really what this is, isn’t it? Michael is scared of feeling alone. He wipes at his eyes angrily and crosses his arms over his chest, embarrassed that he’s let himself get this worked up over a stupid cell phone. Alex is right. They have to wipe them. It’s the only logical solution. He’d always known if Alex’s phone was ever hacked, they’d have a finite amount of time to destroy any and all digital evidence of their bond. 

LIZ? he signs, not even bothering to uncross his arms. Currently they feel like they are holding him together. Like he’s exposed and if he lets go, his insides will all come tumbling out. His heart aches and his stomach twists. He hates it. He hates feeling like this. 

SHE MAY NOT FIND ANYTHING, Alex signs. PROJECT SHEPARD DID A THROUGH JOB WITH COVERING UP ROSA’S MURDER. 

Michael bites his tongue, not sure it’s worth arguing with Alex at this point when there’s nothing they can do now. The ball has started rolling, Liz already has Rosa’s autopsy. Michael knows that she’s going to find something. She’s smart. Nearly as smart as he is. She studied biology. All it takes is for a single number on Rosa’s toxicology report to be off, a minute error in her external exam, a freckle mislabeled, anything… Liz will notice it and she’ll pull on that thread until their entire world comes unraveled. 

_ Michael we have to go, now!  _ Isobel yells at him, a feeling of urgency washes over his body from her. 

_ Seriously, pull up your pants and stop having sex with your secret boyfriend, Max is in trouble. We have to go. Now!  _ she argues. 

_ What happened?  _ he asks her, eyes going from Alex to the door, then back to Alex, trying to weigh which of his crises is the most pressing at the moment. 

_ Wyatt Long and his friends are going to the Crashdown. If something happens to Arturo or Liz…  _

Michael rolls his eyes.  _ I’m sure Deputy Evans will come to the rescue.  _

_ Exactly! He’ll lose it. He’s not himself right now. I don’t want him to do something he can’t take back,  _ she says. 

WHAT? Alex asks, grabbing his arm to get his attention, looking at him concerned. 

Michael would love to believe that Isobel is overreacting, but he can’t. He’s felt the negative energy in Max boiling over for the last several days. He’s seen what happens when Max loses control. He’s helped bury the body in the desert. They can’t afford for Max to kill somebody, not with Project Shepard already investigating Alex again and Liz raising red flags by investigating Rosa’s murder. 

I HAVE TO GO STOP MAX FROM DOING SOMETHING STUPID, Michael tells him, moving towards the door. 

I’LL COME WITH YOU, he signs, but Michael shakes his head. 

YOU CAN’T. WE CAN’T BE SEEN TOGETHER, ESPECIALLY NOW, REMEMBER, he signs. 

Alex looks like he wants to argue, and Michael knows the feeling. It sucks being helpless. It’s how he’s felt every time Alex has been deployed. It’s how he’s felt ever since Alex’s injury. 

_ Michael!  _ Isobel yells at him, and he can feel the connection to her getting closer, meaning she’s headed their way. The urgency he’s feeling from her means she’ll likely break down the door if he doesn’t come out soon, which will just bring more attention to them and risk Michael being seen with Alex. 

IS THE CABIN STILL SAFE? he asks. 

Alex nods. IT SHOULD BE. I’LL TRIPLE CHECK. 

I’LL MEET YOU THERE, he signs. And with that, he unlocks the door and leaves. Following Isobel out of the bar and to her car, desperate to get to Max in time before he does something stupid. 

****

**June 2008**

Alex’s heart races with the intensity he can feel radiating from Michael. He doesn’t understand what is going on. He’d woken up to Michael screaming out and throwing his clothes at him. The most he had gotten Michael to tell him is that something is going on with Isobel. From the anxiety that he can feel in the air and the urgency in which he’s been driving, Alex knows it can’t be good. 

Thankfully, Isobel isn’t far though. They don’t even make it back to the highway when Michael pulls the truck over and puts it in park, reaching back through the window to grab something off the bed of the truck. Alex looks over and sees Rosa’s car. 

A heavy weight presses down on his chest and it feels like all the air gets sucked out of the truck. He sits up straighter in his seat, looking around. He knows this place. It’s where the druggies and the alcoholics go to party, and it’s exactly the kind of place Rosa should be avoiding. Pressure builds behind his eyes and he bites the inside of his cheeks hard. A sense of dread falls over him. 

That’s when he notices two bodies laying up ahead. He throws open the door and starts to run, Michael is right behind him with a lantern. Alex breathes a sigh of relief when he realizes neither girl is Rosa, but the relief is short lived. 

Both girls are clearly dead.

Micheal’s breath catches in his throat as he kneels down and rolls the blonde girl over… Kate Long. Michael lets out a heavy breath and Alex knows that he had assumed it was Isobel. Their eyes meet nervously. 

If this isn’t Isobel, then it means that Isobel and Rosa are still out here somewhere. 

DO YOU THINK THEY OD’D? Alex signs, hopefully. There’s a twisting feeling in his gut. He recognizes the signs of violence. He lives it everyday. He shakes his head as his eyes water, unwilling to let his mind wander to the possibility that they’ve stumbled onto something way more sinister than some high gone bad. 

The look of doubt on Michael’s face tells Alex that he too feels the same dread. They take off towards the cave in a hurry, desperate to be proven wrong. Alex has never found much use in praying, but he’s praying right now that he’s going to find Rosa inside, laughing and high as a kite. It’ll piss him off, but he’ll accept it. He’ll accept any reality right now that doesn’t include Rosa looking at him with the same lifeless eyes as Kate Long. 

“Rosa!” he calls out and it’s only with Michael’s lantern that they don’t trip over all the stray rocks, hurrying to get inside. 

“Alex!” he hears her call out, her voice scared in a way Alex has never heard before. He bolts ahead after her. 

When they reach the center of the cave, Alex’s eyes zero in on Rosa being corned by Isobel. He has a split second to register the sheer relief on her face, before the air around them shifts into something dark and ugly that presses down on him hard, painful even. 

Rosa moves to step around Isobel and Isobel grabs her wrist and pulls her back, covering her mouth with her hand… her hand that is now glowing red. Alex moves to pull Rosa away, but finds his body is frozen in place. It’s not like Michael’s telekinesis which is soft and warm, this is cold and firm. Unyielding. It hurts. 

Isobel’s eyes are vacant, void of any emotion, and it’s terrifying. It’s the way his father had looked at him last night when he’d choked him and nearly killed him. 

Isobel is going to kill Rosa. 

“Rosa!” he yells, his heart pulling at his chest painfully, begging him to do something. 

“I can feel what you feel,” Isobel says to Rosa, who is still moving in her arms, and Alex can hear her trying to speak. She sounds terrified and it breaks something inside of Alex. He knows that fear. He’s lived that fear most of his life. And Rosa has been one of the only people to ever try and protect him from him. He pushes against the hold as hard as he can as it presses down on him hard enough to bruise. 

“You hate me now, don’t you?” Isobel’s face twists in rage and Alex can barely hear his heart is pounding so hard. 

“Stop!” he screams, his voice wet as tears stream down his face. “You’re hurting her!” 

He desperately looks over at Michael to see if he can help, and Michael looks like he’s struggling against the invisible bond as well. His face is red, hands are shaking as if he’s trying to use his powers, and his eyes are screaming out at his sister. Alex doesn’t have to be able to hear their psychic conversation to know that Micheal is pleading with her to stop. 

And if Michael and all of his alien superpowers can’t stop this? 

Fuck. 

Alex pushes against the hold again, screaming out in pain as he does so. 

“You don’t wanna be mine?” she asks, her voice sounding desperate and deranged. 

Rosa’s eyes find his and for a moment all fear is gone. Her gaze is soft and loving. He has a vivid flashback to the way his mom had just looked at him before she left him forever and shakes his head. How is  _ Rosa _ the one trying to comfort  _ him _ right now? 

He calls on every last ounce of strength he has. Though he can barely think past his own fear and pain, he focuses on Rosa and what she needs. And while his voice is broken and barely a whisper with the way his whole body is trembling… he starts to sing. 

“All my… life… I pray for — for someone… Someone like you,” he can barely get the words out but Rosa’s eyes fill with tears and he knows that she recognizes the song. He prays it gives her peace. And as Isobel continues to say harsh words into her ear, their eyes stay locked and he keeps singing. “And I… Thank… I thank God that I — I — finally found you…” 

Rosa’s eyes fall shut and Isobel finally lets go. Rosa falls to the floor and Alex’s entire world stops spinning. He can’t hear. His body goes numb. He opens his mouth but can’t find any air. And then the telekinesis pushing so hard against him drops and he falls to the floor beside Rosa. His knees slam into rocks but he barely notices as he scrambles to Rosa’s side, calling for her to wake up.  _ Needing _ her to wake up. 

She doesn't move. 

He finally takes a big gasp of air and looks up at Isobel as rage takes over his body. 

“What the fuck?!” he yells. There are tears streaming down his face. It feels like his heart has been ripped in two. 

Isobel stares down at Rosa’s body and the darkness that he sees in her sends a chill down his spine. But in some distant part of his brain that he can’t completely access right now, things start clicking. Puzzle pieces start to come together. 

Rosa had told him about a girl she had a crush on who was a little bit messed up. 

She’d told him that things were spiraling out of control and that’s what triggered her desire to go to rehab for real this time. 

His eyes fall back to Rosa before meeting Isobel’s brain searching for the final piece… The part of the puzzle that would explain what the hell had gone so wrong that things had ended like this? 

“What. Happened?” He asks through gritted teeth, his voice steel as a rage boils inside of him. 

He doesn’t get an answer. Isobel just continues to glare down at Rosa. 

Alex looks back at Rosa and chokes back a sob when it truly registers that she’s not breathing. 

WE NEED TO CALL THE POLICE, he turns to Michael to sign. Alex has no idea what the hell to do, but Jim Valenti will know how to fix this. He’ll bring an ambulance here and they’ll help. Somebody has to be able to fix this. 

Michael’s eyes look broken and scared as they fill with tears. He’s staring at his sister like he doesn’t even know her, shaking his head in disbelief. He knows that Michael is talking to her, but he has no idea what they are saying to each other and it’s deeply unsettling. 

With trembling hands, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, powering it back on from where he’d turned it off to avoid his dad. Faster than he can blink, the phone is out of his hands and crashing against the cave wall, shattering into several pieces. 

“She needs help! What the hell?!” Alex yells, hands fumbling as he tries to sign at the same time. He squares his shoulders and prepares for a fight. If being a Manes has taught him anything, it’s at least that. 

Isobel lunges at him but Michael grabs her around the waist. 

“She couldn’t be trusted,” she says before passing out in Michael’s arms. 

Michael looks from Isobel to Alex then back again, eyes wide with shock and Alex can tell that he’s not going to be getting through to Michael anytime soon. He sucks in another sob, trying to hold himself together long enough to get help. He reaches for the pieces of his phone, hands slipping several times before he’s able to gather them all up. Then he attempts to put it back together. 

This isn’t real. This isn’t it. He tries to tell himself. He’s going to call for help and somebody will fix this. Somebody will be able to fix this. He just needs an adult. 

“Isobel!” he hears in the distance and it takes his brain a minute to register that it’s Max Evans. Alex barely looks up, he continues to try and work on putting his phone back together, though it’s a lost cause. The pieces are too cracked and there’s a frayed wire he has no idea how to repair. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to Rosa, dropping the pieces from his hands and reaching out to her, hands hovering over, unsure if he’s ready to touch her or not. He’s scared that she’ll feel cold and he’s not sure that’s a memory that he wants to have of her. 

Alex doesn’t notice Max come in until Isobel is suddenly on the ground next to Rosa and Max is checking for her pulse. 

“It’s okay, she’s alive,” Max says to himself and Alex’s vision goes white. 

“Who the fuck cares if she’s alive! Are you kidding me right now?!” he yells, hands making two fists as he prepares to punch Max. “She murdered Rosa, but cool. Great. Glad your psychopath sister is still breathing.” 

Max looks at Alex, confused before turning back to Michael, clearly saying something to him, but nobody is signing and it only increases his fury. 

The two of them stand there, the only sign any conversation is happening is the subtle shift of Michael’s eyebrows and the way Max keeps looking back at him and Isobel with growing confusion. 

“Oh my god, sign!” he yells, his hands signing along huge, demanding attention. 

They ignore him, continuing to have a private conversation and Alex’s eyes find Rosa again. If he doesn't look too closely, he can maybe convince himself that she’s just sleeping. That she’ll wake up and call him Chiquito and tease him for worrying so much. 

Only, she’s never going to call him Chiquito again. 

“We should call the police,” he says through a sob, words barely understandable but his signs are hopefully more clear. 

“No, no cops,” Max says firmly. Alex’s eyes fly to Max’s. 

“Your sister just killed Rosa and you don’t think we should call the cops? Are you insane?” 

“No cops!” Max snaps and he continues to have some psychic exchange with Micheal while Alex becomes increasingly more agitated at being left out of the conversation. 

Next thing he knows, Max is pushing him out of the way. Alex throws his arm back, ready to throw a punch, but Micheal grabs at him and the shock that the touch sends through his system gets his attention but doesn’t calm his anger. 

WHAT? he yells. 

MAX WILL FIX IT, Micheal signs, face clearly attempting to convey confidence, but Alex doesn’t buy it. Still, as he turns to see Max’s hand glowing over Rosa’s chest, he’s willing to give it a chance, because right now he’ll accept anything that means maybe Rosa isn’t dead. 

Michael’s arms settle around Alex’s waist and though both of them are trembling and scared, Alex tries to focus on the bond they share, tries to ground himself in love. It’s much harder to do that, he finds, when his best friend has just been murdered in front of his eyes. It feels like his heart has been ripped from his chest. It feels like there’s a giant hole and he’s bleeding out, that he’ll never be whole again. And the small stitches that the bond is trying to apply just can’t possibly do much good. A bandaid over a bullet hole.

How naive he was this morning to assume love could overcome everything. 

Right now he’s not sure that love could overcome anything. That he can overcome anything. 

WE NEED TO GET HELP, Alex signs frantically, his signs choppy and barely legible. 

Michael’s hands drop to his sides and he gives Alex a helpless look before he starts pacing back and forth. The anxiety coming off of him does nothing to help Alex’s already fried nerves. He looks down at Max. He’s sweating and frantic and Alex’s stomach twists into knots and he feels like he’s about to be sick. 

WHY ISN’T IT WORKING? Alex signs. 

Michael’s hands fly out to the sides as if to emphasize the fact that he doesn’t know before they begin running through and pulling at his hair. Even without the bond, Alex could see that Michael is starting to fall apart. His eyes are darting back and forth and whatever Max and he are arguing about, it’s only increasing both of their stress. 

“We need to get help,” Alex says, trying to sound firm and in control. Somebody here needs to be. “We need to call 911. Maybe a doctor could—” 

“Could what?!” Max yells. “Could bring her back from the dead?” 

Alex flinches at Max’s tone and he bites down on his tongue as the rage starts to build again. 

“She’s dead, and if you call for help, then the authorities are going to show up and take all of us away,” Max says. There’s a dangerous glint in his eyes that certainly feels like a threat. As if Alex is going to allow himself to just sit back and take shit from Max Evans of all people. He faces his dad on a daily basis, Max doesn’t scare him. 

“Isobel  _ should _ get taken away!” he argues, signing the entire time. Unlike Max, he actually cares about making the conversation accessible. “She killed Rosa!” 

Max’s eyes immediately go to Michael’s, a dangerous look on his face. Michael looks down at Isobel, then Rosa, and begins crying even more, shaking his head. His eyes go wide as he gestures around the cave wildly and Alex’s hands curl up into fists at being left out of the conversation. 

Something makes Max break. His shoulders slump and he starts to tear up. The pair of them both clearly beyond the ability to make a decision. 

“We need an adult,” he signs as calmly and clearly as he can, given the fact that he’s still got tears streaming down his face and his entire world has shattered into irreparable pieces. “We need help.” 

Max looks up at Alex, and this time, instead of yelling he says, “If my sister gets locked up, Michael goes with her. Is that what you want?” 

The words hit Alex hard. He feels them against every thread of every string connecting him to Michael. His heart is in pieces right now, and though it feels like every part of him is shattering, Michael’s energy is still there, trying to stitch him back together. He tries to imagine what a life would be like if Michael wasn’t here, if he got taken away from him as cruelly as Rosa’s just been… And Alex doesn’t think he’d survive it. 

His eyes fall to Rosa’s body as his heart squeezes painfully, missing her deeply. He can still remember a time when the only thing holding him together was a song lyric whispered into his ear while a loving hands wiped his tears. Looking at her now, lifeless, missing that fire behind her eyes that he loves so much makes him want to throw up. He wants to fall to his knees and beg her to wake up, but he knows it's pointless. She’s gone forever and he won’t ever be able to talk to her again. 

He wants to rage. He wants to scream as he cries and burn the world down to the ground for taking Rosa from him. But as he looks to Isobel and then to Michael, he knows that Max is right and he hates it. He can’t tell anyone about Isobel without exposing Michael. 

It’s not fair. None of it is fair. But then, when has the world ever cared enough about him to grant him fair? 

He kneels down next to Rosa, pushing the hair out of her face gently. She deserves so much more than this. She was supposed to get sober and go to art school and take the world by storm. She was going to be his rock and he was going to be hers. She deserved a chance to shine for the world as bright as she’d always shined for him. To inspire others the way she’d always inspired him. She deserved a chance. And that chance had been ripped away from her. 

He bites his lips against a fresh wave of tears. Rosa deserves justice. Liz and Arturo deserve answers. Alex owes it to the Ortechos for everything that they’ve done for him to find a way to make this wrong right again. But he can’t. He can’t do anything for Rosa without risking Michael, and Alex just isn’t strong enough for that. He’s barely hanging on. The strings are the only thing keeping his shattered pieces together. And he can’t lose that. 

Rosa is dead. She’s gone. Forever. And he can sit here and fight for justice, but nothing he does will bring her back, and anything he does will hurt Michael. 

Michael, who hasn’t done anything to deserve this. 

Michael, who doesn't deserve to burn simply because his sister is a sociopath. 

And so, somehow, he’s found himself having to choose between two awful options: Does he cover up the murder of his best friend and protect the psycho who killed her, or does he call the police and let them discover that Rosa was killed by an alien… getting Michael taken away in the process. 

If they were just talking about Isobel, the answer would be clear. Isobel Evans can rot in hell for all eternity for all Alex cares. He’s more than happy to turn her in and allow her to be some fucking science project for the rest of her life. If he had a match, he’d light her on fire right now and watch her burn. Nothing,  _ nothing _ , she could ever say would ever make up for the fact that she’s killed Rosa. 

Michael makes a whimpering sound, catching Alex’s attention. And when Alex blinks enough tears away to be able to see the truly terrified look on Michael’s face, he knows what he has to do. His stomach sinks as he realizes that there’s really only one option here. 

Rosa is dead. He can protect her despite what it will do to Michael, but she’ll still be dead. His best friend will be still gone and he’ll have lost his soulmate in the process. 

Alex swallows down the bile that fills his mouth at his decision, and lifts Rosa’s hand to place a kiss against the song lyric she’s written on the back of her hand. A fraudulent zodiac. 

God, how many times had Rosa sang this song to him? How many times had she repeated these lyrics as she talked about wanting to get clean. 

“Searching for something I could never give you,” he whispers into her ear, despite the fact that she won’t be able to hear him. She’ll never be able to hear him. He hopes her soul is at least at peace now. That she’s able to find a solace in death that she was never able to find in life. He closes his eyes and kisses her forehead, giving himself a moment to say goodbye. 

When he sits back up, he’s resigned. He forces his emotions down into tight little boxes. If he’s going to survive this next part, he can’t afford to get emotional. He can’t afford to think about the implications of his actions, or the pain they will cause the Ortechos. He has to remain logical. Rosa is dead, and there’s nothing he can do to save her now. But he can do something to make sure that Michael remains protected. 

“You’re going to have to cover this up,” Alex says to Max. 

Max nods, eyes watery, looking about twelve years old instead of the adult he’s supposed to be in less than a week. 

“Maybe we can dump her body,” Max says and Alex’s rage flares bright. 

“You can’t just dump her body you asshole,” he snaps back. “She’s a person and she deserves some dignity in death that your bitch of a sister didn’t afford her in life.” 

“Well what do you want to do?” Max asks. 

Alex takes a minute to think about their options. There aren’t many good ones. There aren’t  _ any _ good ones. 

“They’ll do an autopsy on her,” he says. 

Max shakes his head. “They can’t. They’ll know something’s up. They’ll trace it back to us. They can’t—” 

“Okay,” Alex cuts him off. 

He looks back at Rosa, trying to think. Tears continue to stream down his face, but he’s at least more composed than Michael and Max, both of whom are a complete mess and of no help right now. What he really needs is for Michael to pull himself together long enough to use that genius brain of his and think up a way out of this. But that’s not fair to him. Michael is good and pure. He’s not a murder. And Alex doesn’t want him to be complicit in what they are about to do any more than he already has to be. At least one of them should get to survive this night with their conscience still intact. 

Alex feels the lid on his feelings start to open and he slams them back down tight before he can lose it again. 

“We need to give them a death they won’t question,” he says, trying his best to channel his father, to be cold and unfeeling. It’s the only way he’s going to survive this. “Chaves County PD is notoriously underfunded. They won’t order an extensive autopsy if they know the cause of death. We need to make it look like an accident.” 

Even saying the words, makes Alex feel sick. He sounds like his father and he hates it. It isn’t him. 

“Right,” Max reaches out to touch him and Alex snaps. 

“I’m not your friend,” he tells him. “I’m not doing this for you. Your sister murdered my best friend. We aren’t cool. If it weren’t for Michael, I’d let the government have her. And you. Do you understand me?” 

Max nods, looking back over at Michael, who’s watching them both, eyes narrowed, clearly trying to read their lips. Alex starts to sign again, for his benefit. THE POLICE NEED TO THINK IT’S AN ACCIDENT OR THEY’LL INVESTIGATE. THEY’LL DO AN AUTOPSY. 

Micahel nods, but doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t offer up any suggestions or criticisms and that’s when Alex realizes that he’s well and truly alone on this. It’s up to him to get them out of this mess. 

ROSA’S CAR IS OUTSIDE, he signs, thinking through a plan as he goes. SHE WAS HIGH. NOBODY WILL QUESTION IF SHE GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT WITH KATE AND JASMINE. 

Alex’s mind goes to Rosa’s excited texts this morning about rehab. Her bright smile when she’d stopped by his house to drop off an apology mix. He bites his tongue thinking about how all she wanted to do was get clean and he’s about to let her die an addict, but what choice does he have? All three girls were into drugs and everyone in town knows it. He needs an excuse that nobody will question. And the problem child getting herself killed won’t surprise anyone. 

He starts to cry. Seriously cry. He can’t do this. He can’t do this to Rosa. She deserves so much better from him. 

ALEX, ARE YOU SURE? Michael asks him, moving to his side and placing his hand on his back. And of course Alex isn’t sure. It’s not like he’s done this before. There’s no manual. He’s been handed two incredibly shitty options. WE DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS. WE CAN TURN OURSELVES IN. 

Alex looks at Michael’s face and sees the determination there, and he knows that Michael is serious. He’ll turn himself in. 

DON’T YOU DARE, he signs, firmly. 

SHE WAS YOUR FRIEND, Michael signs, and his hand starts to move to his chest to apologize and Alex grabs his wrist to stop him. 

I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW, he signs, eyes trailing to Rosa’s lifeless body. 

Michael looks at Max and the two of them have a conversation without him. He wonders if this is what it’s like to be Michael. To always have people talking around him and not be able to access the conversation. It’s frustrating as hell. He’s not sure how Michael puts up with it. 

He’s about to say something when Michael turns back to him, a resigned look on his face. YOU SHOULD GO WAIT IN THE CAR, he signs. YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEE THIS. 

Alex shakes his head. The two of them are in this together. He’s not about to let Michael handle this on his own. He reaches out and grabs Michael’s hand, a shock running through his system as he does. It makes him stronger. Settles something in him. He can do this. For Michael, Alex can do this. 

His stomach still twists violently. His heart aches in a pain he hasn’t known since his mom left. He wants nothing more than to curl up into a ball under the blankets and shut the world out while he sobs for days. But for Michael, Alex will put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. For Michael, Alex will do the worst thing he’s ever done in his entire life.

Alex closes his eyes and focuses on the strings tying them together permanently. He reaches out until he feels the love flooding his system, working overtime to keep him from shattering any further than he already has. He focuses on that feeling. Focuses on his own desire to keep Michael safe from any harm. And then he gathers up every last bit of courage before opening his eyes and meeting Michael’s. 

There’s a question in Michael’s eyes, a lingering insecurity. And so Alex raises his hands and promises, I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please consider donating to the Official Navajo Nation COVID Relief Fund https://www.nndoh.org/donate.html


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a minute since I was able to play in the Invisible String playground and I have to say that I've missed it. So much so that this chapter got written in half a day... quite a feat for me writing wise. Special thanks to Christi for the cheerleading! <3 Not sure if anyone is still willing to read this fic, but I'm determined and excited to see it through to the end.

**2018**

Alex sits in front of his computer, eyes going back and forth between the three screens he’s got set up. His fingers fly over the keys as he tries to reverse hack his father, following after the cyber attack that had managed to break into his phone. His dad’s already managed to pull everything of value off of his phone, not that Alex expected otherwise. It just means there’s a timer hanging over their heads. 

Alex figures that his dad has found the string of texts between him and “soulmate <3” which means that he’ll be following that lead all the way to Qatar. He’ll probably spend a day doing digital traces, trying to find the man who is in several photographs on Alex’s phone, only to realize that the man is not an alien and the lead had been false. After that, his dad will start digging deeper and Alex can’t guarantee their safety beyond that point. 

He likes to think that he set up enough safeguards to make it impossible to find Michael digitally, but he’s learned in his line of work that there’s always a flaw in any system that can be exploited. He doesn’t know what their flaw is and can’t even begin to guess how long it will take his dad to find it. 

Alex looks to the screen on his left, verifying that the data is still transferring. It’s at 89% and has about a minute left. He goes back to the hack, trying to decode faster than his father’s firewalls can intervene. A minute later, he finds success. He gets an IP address. A real one. 

Alex runs the IP address through several trackers, but comes up empty handed, which just means that his father’s security is good. Fortunately, Alex is better. 

He pulls up the NSA program he’s hacked into and types in the number, allowing it to search while making sure that his own tracks are covered. The last thing he needs is to get arrested for breaking into government databases and performing illegal searches. He’s not sure that “my dad performed the illegal search on me first” argument will hold up in court and Alex doesn’t think he’ll look good in a jumpsuit. 

It takes about twenty minutes to break through, but Alex is awarded a location in Roswell, on the old property for Walker Air Force Base. Given Project Shepard’s ties to the original crash and the USAF, it’s not overly surprising that they’d have a hidden bunker somewhere on the closed down base. In fact, Alex has searched Walker Air Force Base before but never found anything. These days, much of the property has been repurposed for commercial usage, but clearly, the government has managed to keep at least part of the land to themselves. He vows to check it out tomorrow. 

Alex gets an alert from the security system and looks up at one of the screens to see Michael’s truck pulling onto the road that leads to the property. Even though Alex is well aware that Michael can take care of himself and has been doing so for years, he still breathes a sigh of relief that everything with Max had clearly gone okay. At least, Michael hadn’t been arrested as an accessory to murder, so that’s a start. 

He checks that the data download is complete before pulling the flash drive out and pocketing it. He then sets about wiping both of their phones, pulling both SIM cards out and smashing them in pieces while the computer erases all saved files. 

Two minutes later, he feels Michael’s energy start to flow into him before he hears the sound of his truck pull up in the driveway. He spins in his chair and watches the door, feeling the energy grow stronger as Michael’s footsteps grow near. The door unlocks without a key and swings open. Michael looks exhausted. His shoulders are slumped over and the smile he sends Alex’s way doesn’t even come close to reaching his eyes. 

Alex holds out his arms and Michael kicks off his shoes before falling into his lap and burying his head in his neck. Alex holds him without a word, giving their energies time to intertwine and flow through each other’s bodies, filling in all the empty, dark spaces with light and love. Once they are both feeling more at home again, Michael pulls back far enough for the two of them to be able to talk. 

MAX OKAY? he asks. Michael hadn’t given him much when he’d run off beyond saying he needed to stop Max from doing something stupid, but he knows that Max has been off for days and Michael’s been worried. 

ISOBEL TASERED LONG BEFORE MAX COULD ACTUALLY FINISH KILLING HIM. SO THAT’S SOMETHING, he explains. 

Alex’s eyebrows go up. MAX WAS GOING TO KILL LONG? WYATT LONG? 

IS THAT SO SURPRISING? LONG’S A RACIST ASSHOLE, he explains. 

DO YOU THINK MAX ACTUALLY WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM THOUGH? Alex asks. 

It doesn’t sound like Max. Though he’s heard about the darkness that’s always just below the surface with Max and that he’d killed a man when they were kids. Still, the Max he knows is kind and compassionate, if not occasionally ignorant. Alex just can’t see him murdering anyone even if that someone was Wyatt Long. 

HIS HAND WAS ON HIS CHEST GLOWING RED, he signs and Alex has a vivid flashback to a much smaller, glowing, red hand over Rosa’s mouth. Alex’s mind freezes on the image for an agonizing moment while his heart twists painfully. 

YOU DIDN’T FEEL HIM. HIS WHOLE ENERGY WAS PURE CHAOS, Michael continues to explain while Alex tries to force his brain back to reality. I HAVEN’T FELT HIM LIKE THAT SINCE WE WERE LITTLE. 

It takes a minute for him to catch up and realize what it is exactly that Michael is saying to him. The moment he does, he sits up in shock, nearly knocking Michael to the floor. WHAT? 

His mind starts to race with a million different scenarios, all of which start with Wyatt Long going to the police to explain how one of their deputies had nearly burned him from the inside out and ending with Michael being torn away from him in some form or fashion. 

IT’S FINE, Michael signs and Alex looks at him like he’s crazy, shocked he’s not freaking out. 

WHAT IF HE TALKS? WHAT IF THERE’S A HANDPRINT? he asks. 

ISOBEL TOOK CARE OF IT, Michael explains. 

Alex scoffs. OH, ISOBEL TOOK CARE OF IT. THAT’S REASSURING, 

Alex doesn’t trust Isobel with anything. Ever. 

I PROMISE YOU, IT’S FINE, Michael signs. WYATT ISN’T GOING TO TALK. 

Alex looks at Michael, searching his face for any sign of distress beyond just exhaustion. Trying to figure out if Michael is telling the truth or not. 

YOU’RE SURE? he signs, not entirely ready to let the whole thing go, but also painfully aware that they’ve got other fish to fry and Wyatt isn’t their only concern. 

WOULD I TELL YOU IT WAS FINE IF IT WASN’T? Michael signs, reaching out to put a hand on his cheek. Alex leans into the touch, taking several steadying breaths as he tries to slow his racing heart. 

MAX REALLY TRIED TO KILL HIM? he asks, his mind still struggling to make sense of the violence. 

HE WENT AFTER ARTURO PRETTY BAD AND WHEN MAX BROKE IT UP, HE LOST IT, Michael explains. I GUESS WYATT WAS THE ONE THAT SHOT LIZ. 

Alex’s eyes grow wide at the information. FUCK. 

Michael nods. YEAH. 

Alex knows what it’s like to be bonded. He knows how fiercely protective it makes him over Michael and vice versa. Perhaps it’s not all that surprising that Max had gotten so violent with Wyatt. If ever there was a flip that would make a kind man turn to murder, going after his soulmate would be it. 

I GUESS IT MAKES SENSE, Alex signs.

IF I EVER FOUND THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR THE IED THAT NEARLY KILLED YOU, I’D MURDER THEM, Michael agrees. 

Alex doesn’t tell Michael that he doesn’t believe him. That Michael’s too kind, too soft to ever be able to murder another person. That Alex fears if he ever did, even accidentally, it would destroy him. Alex knows. He’s been to war. And even when you’re not the one pulling the trigger or calling out orders death and destruction has a way of sticking with you. 

IS MAX GOING TO BE OKAY? Alex asks, shifting the conversation back on track. 

Michael shrugs. I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WITH LIZ HOME THAT IT WOULD BE A SOOTHING FORCE FOR HIM. BUT I DON’T KNOW. 

Alex would have hoped as much too, but a soul bond can’t fix everything. And Liz and Max’s relationship isn’t like theirs. Max and Liz aren’t dating. He doesn’t even know if they’ve consummated their bond or not by touching the pods. And even if they were fully bonded and in a relationship, it’s only been a few days since Liz was shot. 

WELL HIS SOOTHING FORCE NEARLY DIED, he signs. MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS SOME TIME TO PROCESS. 

Michael shakes his head and Alex can see his mind working overtime trying to figure it all out. I FEEL LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING MORE GOING ON. SOMETHING ALIEN. I’M WORRIED THAT HE ABSORBED SOME KIND OF DESTRUCTIVE ENERGY WHEN HE HEALED LIZ. 

GREAT, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED, Alex signs, trying not to let his mind wander to what happened the last time one of the aliens was feeling destructive. 

DID YOU FIND OUT ANYTHING ABOUT THE HACK? he asks, changing the subject, thankfully. Alex doesn’t need to get stuck on memories of Rosa right now, not while they need to be on their A game with Project Shepard on their tail. 

I FOUND A LOCATION, Alex signs. WALKER AIR FORCE BASE. 

Michael’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. WE’VE CHECKED OUT WALKER BEFORE. WE’VE NEVER FOUND ANYTHING. 

WELL CLEARLY WE MISSED SOMETHING. I’M GOING TO LOOK INTO IT TOMORROW, he signs, pushing at Michael gently until he stands up. His hips are starting to hurt and he really should have taken the prosthesis off hours ago. But with the phone hack, Alex hadn’t wanted to take it off until Michael got home. He hadn’t wanted to feel vulnerable while he’s worried his dad could turn up at any time. 

I DON’T WANT YOU GOING ALONE, Michael signs as they both head back towards the bedroom together. 

I’LL BE FINE. 

Michael rolls his eyes, but Alex pretends that he can’t see him as he sits down on the bed to begin the process of getting undressed and getting the prosthesis off. 

I’D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT YOU TOLD ME YOU’D BE FINE TO GO TO ROSA’S FUNERAL BY YOURSELF AND YOUR DAD KIDNAPPED YOU, Michael moves to stand in front of him so that Alex can’t ignore him. AND THAT YOU TOLD ME YOU’D BE FINE WHEN YOU WENT TO IRAQ AND YOU NEARLY DIED. SO I’M SORRY IF THOSE WORDS IN RELATION TO YOU GOING TO CHECK OUT YOUR FATHER’S EVIL SECRET LAIR OFFER ME NO COMFORT. 

Alex reaches out to run a hand through Michael’s hair, watching as he leans into the touch before bringing it down to rub at his shoulder. Little sparks of electricity flow from his hands into Michael’s shoulders until eventually all the tension he’s holding there is gone. 

NO FAIR, Michael signs and Alex laughs, dropping his hand so that it’s free to sign. 

IT’S STRICTLY A RECONNAISSANCE MISSION, he promises. I WON’T DO ANYTHING THAT COULD GET ME CAUGHT, HURT, OR KILLED. 

Michael rolls his eyes. WELL THAT’S REASSURING. WHY DON’T YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET OFF WORK, I’LL GO WITH YOU. 

SANDERS AGREED TO TAKE YOU BACK THEN? Alex asks as he starts to pull off the prosthesis, but Michael pushes his hand away and removes it for him, kissing his stump once the liner is off. Alex is sure that it’s sweaty and gross, but Michael doesn't seem to mind. 

OF COURSE, Michael signs once he looks back up. AND I SEE HOW YOU AVOIDED THE OFFER. SERIOUSLY, ALEX. JUST WAIT FOR ME. 

I PROMISE IF I FIND ANYTHING, I’LL STOP AND WAIT FOR YOU, he signs, grabbing his crutches as he heads into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

Michael follows after him to stand in the doorway. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BUDGE ON THIS ONE ARE YOU? Alex watches Michael sign through the reflection of the mirror. 

Alex shakes his head. They don’t have time to sit around and wait for Michael to get off of work. They need to be working every lead they can find as quickly as possible. And Alex has to feel like he can still take care of himself after his leg without needing a babysitter. Not that that’s what Michael is trying to do, he would have fought Alex on something like this even before the IED. They are both too overprotective for their own good. 

IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, YOU WON’T EVEN HAVE ANY WAY TO CALL ME, Michael signs. YOU TOOK MY PHONE. 

Which reminds Alex. GO GRAB MY PANTS OFF THE FLOOR FOR ME, he tells him. 

Michael grumbles, but does as he’s told, bringing Alex his jeans. Alex digs in the pocket and pulls out a flash drive that he hands over to Michael. 

WHAT’S THIS? Michael asks, staring at it in confusion. 

THE CONTENTS OF YOUR PHONE, he explains. YOU CAN’T UPLOAD IT ANYWHERE. NOT UNTIL THIS IS OVER AND WE’RE SAFE. BUT SO LONG AS YOU KEEP THAT ON YOU AND GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE, I DON’T SEE A REASON WE HAVE TO TRULY ERASE EVERYTHING. 

Energy pours into Alex, letting him know just how moved Michael really is, as if he couldn’t see it well enough in Michael’s eyes and the way the light reflects more strongly thanks to the tears. 

YOU SAVED EVERYTHING? he asks, his signs a bit shaky as he steps into the bathroom properly and moves until he has Alex pinned against the sink. All Alex can do is nod. 

THE PICTURES? 

Alex nods. 

THE SONGS? 

Alex smiles and moves his hand between them so that he can sign, YES. EVERYTHING. 

Michael leans in close, his hands landing on Alex’s hips as he mouths, ‘thank you.’

‘I love you,’ Alex mouths back. It’s one of the handful of things that Michael can lip read without any issues, helped by years of practice. 

Michael’s hands find their way under his T-shirt as he closes the gap between them and kisses him properly. Alex’s hands move up to frame Michael’s face, holding him in place before moving back to bury themselves in his hair. 

As Michael’s tongue finds its way into his mouth, Alex focuses his attention on the energy flowing between them, lighting up all the dark spaces within them. He lets the fears of what the future brings float away as he allows himself this moment with Michael. Tomorrow will come with all of it’s drama and enemies. But tonight? Tonight is just for the two of them. 

********

**2008**

Michael feels like he might vomit, but not from the strain it’s taking him to lift all three bodies with his powers, though that’s certainly not helping. No, he feels like he’s going to be sick because his mind can’t stop seeing the vacant look in Isobel’s eyes. He can’t shake how cool their connection was, lacking it’s usual warmth and comfort. 

His skin is crawling at how different — at how creepy — her powers had felt against his skin as they forced him to stay in his place. As her own telekinesis pushed back against his own. It had felt so foreign, like nothing he’d ever felt from her before. Almost like it wasn’t even her. 

Isobel killed three girls. She’d murdered Kate Long, Jasmine Fredrick, and Rosa Ortecho. If he hadn’t seen it with his own two eyes, he wouldn't have believed it. But he’d watched her put her hand over Rosa’s mouth and, with powers he didn’t even know she had, watched her burn the life out of Alex’s best friend. He’d seen the fear in Rosa’s eyes. It’s an image he won’t forget anytime soon. 

He can’t make sense of it.

This is so much worse than Max killing a drifter all those years ago. At least that murder had been self defense. At least that murder had been a stranger the town wasn’t likely to look for. Kate, Jasmine, and Rosa? They are going to be missed. People are going to be looking for them. There will be questions. 

The fuck? 

Michael wants to throw up. His stomach is twisted in knots over how powerless he’d been to do anything but stand by and watch. He can’t get Alex’s agony out of his head. He can’t look at the pain clearly written all over his face without the guilt of it all paralyzing him. It was his sister, he should have seen this coming. He should have been able to stop her. 

His heart pulls painfully. Shattered. It’s all too much. His mind is in complete chaos and he can’t hardly think. His vision is soft around the edges. Storm clouds have taken over his mind, blocking out the world. He doesn’t feel the cold bite of the wind against his wet cheeks. He purposely tries to ignore the fear radiating off of Max in overpowering waves. 

The most he can handle right now is one foot in front of the other as he makes his way over to Rosa’s car with the bodies. No, with the girls. It’s easier to think of them as girls. Like they might still be just sleeping and this is all a nightmare he could awake from. 

His brain floats away in the distance and he doesn’t try to pull himself back to this moment. Removing himself from the pain that’s almost unbearable is better. When they reach the car, Michael doesn’t think too much about what he’s doing. He can’t. Instead, he just goes through the motions as Max helps him get the girls buckled in. 

Alex doesn’t help, nor does Michael ask him to. Instead, he stands back crying and Michael’s heart continues to tear into smaller and smaller pieces as Alex nearly curls in on himself. Michael wishes he’d gone back to the truck like he’d asked. He shouldn’t have to watch this part. He shouldn’t have to see any of it. 

Once Kate is secure in the front seat, Michael stands back up, and that’s when he feels his connection to Isobel open back up. Reality slams back hard and his entire body goes on high alert, preparing for the worst. Readying himself for a fight, terrified that this time she’s going to go after Alex. She’d already tried once in the cave right before she’d passed out and he’d only just barely been able to stop her. 

_ Oh my god,  _ she says and Michael can feel the confusion and fear coming off of her, but he can also feel warmth. Something that hadn’t been there earlier. He turns to look at her and he can see the terror in her eyes. There is emotion there. Genuine emotion. It’s like a switch has been flipped and his Isobel is back. He doesn’t understand. 

_ What happened?  _ she asks. 

Michael notices the way that Alex steps further away from her, his face enraged, his entire body poised to fight. But Isobel just looks back and forth between Alex and the car in confusion. Like she doesn’t understand how any of this happened. 

_ What? You don’t remember?  _ Max asks. 

_ No,  _ she says, her eyes filled with tears and looking at them like this is somehow their fault. 

He doesn’t know what’s going on. He’s not sure why she murdered three girls, or why she can’t remember any of it now. But what he does know is that she looks more terrified than he’s seen her in a long time. She’s trembling like she hasn’t since that drifter tried to kidnap her. And his heart goes out to her. He feels an intense need to protect her from this. To shield her from the damage she’s done. Somehow, he knows that the truth would destroy her. 

_ I uh… I messed up, Iz,  _ he says. 

_ What?  _ she cries, their connection is a mess of emotions as each of them flood it with their feelings. Between the three of them, it’s all too much. 

_ Michael,  _ Max says, his tone a warning. Michael turns to look at him.  _ What are you doing?  _

This is what Max had said right? That they needed to protect her now. That they hadn’t protected her before, so they’d do it now. That’s all he’s doing. Stepping in. Taking one for the team. Because that’s what he always does. Isobel can’t take the truth, she’ll have another blackout and at that point, who knows how many more people she’ll kill. And Max can’t take the blame. He’s got enough darkness threatening to burst out of him at all times. This is going to fall on him. He has to fix this. 

When he turns back, Isobel is looking at Alex who is screaming something at them that he can’t lipread. When Alex turns to look over at Michael, Alex asks, WHAT IS HAPPENING? 

IT’S FINE, he signs to Alex in an attempt to be reassuring, but given what a mess he is, he’s sure it fails. 

_ How?  _ Isobel asks, shaking her head in disbelief as Michael stares at her, trying to figure out how to make this all just go away. Why couldn’t he have been gifted with a fucking useful power, like time travel so he could go back and undo this all? 

WHAT THE FUCK IS FINE? WHAT IS HAPPENING? Alex signs, and Michael can see him, but he ignores him for the moment. He can’t switch to sign. He can’t include Alex on what’s about to happen because there’s no way in hell Alex would let him. He would tell Isobel the truth and Michael needs time to be able to convince Alex this is the only way. 

_ I got in a fight,  _ he says. 

He’s always heard when telling a lie, to make it as close to the truth as possible. Well, Isobel has always assumed he’s a hot head. He’s let her assume as much. Let her think that most of the bruises he comes to school with are a result of him purposefully pushing buttons to piss people off. So it shouldn’t be that much of a stretch for her to think that he’s moved onto murder. 

After all, he’s the fuck up between the three of them, right? The broken one. The unwanted one that hadn’t been good enough for a home. 

_ Don’t,  _ Max warns. He can feel his hesitancy through the connection. Michael sends him a private warning, making sure he won’t interfere. Regret flows throw the connection but a moment later, Max slams the door closed and blocks them both out. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Max turning away and taking several steadying breaths. He’ll go along with whatever Michael does. 

_ I went and I got drunk and I ran into those girls and my telekinesis… it just went nuts like it used to before I could control it,  _ he explains, the lie flowing out of him effortlessly. 

Despite the fact that Isobel is shaking her head, he can tell she believes him. Doesn’t even question that he’d murder three girls in a drunken fit. It hurts, but what’s he going to do? Argue with her about it? He needs her to believe the lie. 

_ It was an accident, Iz,  _ he says, trying to convince himself as much. Isobel killing these girls has to have been some kind of accident. 

Except… it certainly hadn’t looked like an accident when she’d had her hand over Rosa’s mouth. 

_ Just take my car and let us handle this,  _ Max says.

_ No,  _ she sounds broken and Michael is so conflicted. He hates seeing her like this, and it tears at his heart. But then, he’s angry that she doesn’t remember. That she did this awful thing and while they are going to have to live with it for the rest of their lives, she gets to just black the whole thing out and go on with her life. 

He can feel Alex through the bond. He can feel the energy trying to repair all the pain, but it does little good. For either of them. They’ve both been blown wide open with this and some flimsy gold string isn’t going to be able to stitch them back up. 

_ I’m not leaving you,  _ Isobel says, standing tall even as her body continues to tremble and she radiates fear. 

OH, NOW YOU’RE SUDDENLY ALL MORALISTIC? Alex signs and Michael can see by his lips moving, he’s yelling it at Isobel. 

She puts her hands out and Michael doesn’t even stop to think before stepping between them, arms raised and ready to deflect, terrified of what she is about to do. But rather than use her power, she’s just waving her hands around and saying something he can’t hear, looking genuinely confused at Alex’s presence. Still, his heart races as he worries about what it would take for Isobel to snap again. 

It feels like his Isobel is back, but he doesn’t want to try their luck. He can’t watch something happen to Alex too. 

PLEASE, DON’T PUSH HER, Michael signs. 

I’M NOT CODDLING HER! Alex signs, thankfully, this time, his mouth remains closed, his words only meant for Michael. SHE MURDERED ROSA! 

YES, AND IF SHE BLACKS OUT AGAIN, SHE COULD MURDER YOU, he signs and for the first time in his life, he’s actually glad that neither of his siblings had ever taken the time to learn sign language because this is not a conversation that Isobel needs to see. PLEASE LET IT GO. 

BLACKS OUT? LET IT GO? Alex looks like he is the one about to commit murder. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON MICHAEL! 

_ Why is Alex Manes here? Somebody tell me what is happening!  _ Isobel snaps, grabbing onto Michael’s shoulders and tugging at him until he turns to look at her. 

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Alex sign, FUCK YOU! 

_ Alex!  _ Max yells. Michael rubs his face, willing himself not to cry. He hates confrontation on a good day. But on a bad day like today? He just wants to curl up in a ball and hide from the world, but that’s not an option. 

He can’t hear whatever Isobel says to Alex but he signs FUCK YOU, again and he can sense Isobel growing increasingly more angry. 

SERIOUSLY, PLEASE DON’T PUSH HER, Michael signs. 

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? Alex asks, looking at Michael like he doesn’t even know him and every fiber of his being wants to reach out and fix it. To make it all okay again. To go back to a few hours ago when it was just the two of them in the cave and life had been perfect. But he can’t. Not right now. Not with the reality of their situation pushing down on them hard. 

It’s a Saturday night and they are standing outside of a known drug hang out with three dead girls. Any moment, somebody could show up and see them. 

CAN WE HAVE THIS CONVERSATION LATER? he signs, pleading with Alex to stop fighting him on this. He can’t handle it right now. WE NEED TO GET RID OF THIS CAR BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DRIVES PAST. 

Alex looks past his shoulder at Isobel and glares at her. Michael glances back to see what she’s doing, but Max is simply pulling her further away from the two of them. Michael doesn’t know what Max is saying because he’s talking to her instead of using the connection, but whatever it is must be working because Isobel is starting to deflate some as Max pulls her into his arms and she starts to cry. 

WHY IS SHE CRYING? Alex asks with a roll of his eyes. DOES SHE THINK WE’RE GOING TO GIVE HER SYMPATHY FOR KILLING ROSA? 

Michael doesn’t know what to say. Alex is completely justified in his anger, but Michael also can’t handle it right now. He runs his hands over his face, not surprised in the least when his hands come back wet with tears. They are too young to handle this. They shouldn’t have to deal with this shit on their own. Alex and he don’t have anyone. But Max and Isobel do. He still doesn’t understand why they couldn’t call their parents. What’s the point of being rich, white, and privileged if not to call your parents to get you out of murder when needed? 

YOU CAN STILL GO WAIT IN THE TRUCK, Michael tells him, tired as hell. 

Alex’s eyes drift over to Rosa’s car as tears stream down his face. It takes him a minute, but he eventually shakes his head. 

I’M NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE WITH HER, he signs, firmly. 

Michael should tell him that he’ll be fine. That Isobel would never hurt him. But honestly, he’s not even sure if that’s the truth anymore. He hadn’t thought Isobel would be capable of murder either. He hadn’t thought she’d ever use her powers against him. Fuck, he hadn’t even known she’d had other powers beyond her ability to influence others. And here they are. 

Alex reaches out to hold onto his hand. There’s just the barest hint of a shock. Their energies brush against each other, reminding them of all the places they’ve been torn apart. All the wounds that might never heal. 

Without letting go, Alex raises both of his hands to sign CONNECTED. FOREVER. 

Michael leans forward and rests his forehead against Alex’s as he cries, his heart aching in relief. He’s not sure at what point he began to fear that Alex would leave him after this, but hearing confirmation that he’s still got Alex? That they have each other forever? It gives him such relief. 

They stay like that for several minutes until Michael can feel Max nudging him gently. They really can’t stay out here. 

Michael stands up, eager to get this over with so that they can get far away from this hellhole. He summons up more of his power in order to push the car out back towards the road. He follows after it as Alex walks at his side. It takes a lot of effort to move a car. A lot more effort than it does to move three girls and he’s feeling the strain of it. He’s tired and he just wants to stop. He wants to throw his hands up, say it’s too much, and leave. But he can’t run from this. He has to do this. 

Michael can feel Max and Isobel at his back, both trying their best to lend him their strength, even if their powers have never worked that way. He pushes the car until it reaches the main road. 

_ What now?  _ Isobel asks.  _ We just leave them here?  _

Max shakes his head.  _ It needs to look like an accident.  _

Michael’s job isn’t done. He’s still got to make it look like Rosa drove off the road. Has to make it convincing so that nobody bothers to order an autopsy and finds out what really happened. He takes a steadying breath and moves to step away from Alex, but Alex tugs on his arm and shakes his head. WAIT, he signs. 

Alex lets go of Michael’s hand and walks over to the car. He stands at the drivers side door for several long moments as his shoulders begin to shake. Michael wants to fix this for him. He wants to help make it better. But there’s nothing he can do. Max had already tried to save Rosa and it didn't work. She’s dead and nothing Michael says or does right now is going to fix that for Alex. 

Isobel moves to stand beside him, wrapping her arms around his arm.  _ What is happening? Why is Alex Manes here? You told him about your powers?  _

Michael looks at her, tears in his eyes, shaking his head.  _ Please, not now.  _

He can’t explain this. He can’t even begin to tell her who Alex is to him, not here. Not now. 

She pulls a bottle of acetone out of her jacket and unscrews the cap before holding it out for him. Grateful, he takes a long swig from it, willing it to dull his pain quickly. Once he hands it back and she places it back in her jacket, she reaches out to wipe the blood from under his nose with her sleeve. 

_ We’re going to get through this together,  _ she says, trying to reassure him. He knows that she’s right. They’ll get through this together just like they’ve always gotten through everything else. But there’s a part of him that’s angry and bitter because they shouldn’t have anything to get through. They should be celebrating the last few weeks of high school and having the time of their lives, not covering up a murder. 

A few minutes later, Alex walks back over, glaring at Isobel until she leaves Michael’s side and retreats back to Max’s. Michael takes a steadying breath and raises his hand. He turns on the car and puts it into drive. He then presses down on the gas pedal with all of his energy. He is careful to steer the car as it speeds past them. Alex’s nails dig into his skin, but he doesn’t ask Michael to stop, even if part of Michael wishes he would. Even if part of him is still waiting for somebody to realize what an awful thing they are doing and demands that they come up with a better plan. 

But nobody stops him and soon the car crashes and even Michael can hear the loud bang it makes, feeling the vibration of it. Alex wraps his arms around Michael and leans his head against his shoulder and Michael can’t hold it in any longer. He just starts sobbing. 

Alex rubs his back a few times before he steps away, taking Michael’s hand and leading him towards the truck so they can leave. 

_ No, it’s not enough,  _ Isobel says. 

Michael feels Alex tense as he starts to shake his head and Michael feels like he’s going to be sick but he knows that Isobel is right. He pulls away from Alex who tries to hold onto him and pull him back towards the truck. 

IT’S OKAY, Michael signs, his hands shaking in the process. STAY HERE. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WATCH. 

And this time, Alex doesn’t follow him. Michael walks towards the car, Max and Isobel at his sides as they approach the wreckage. Max meets his eyes, but he doesn’t voice his question. He doesn’t have to. Michael simply nods and Max steps up to the car, waving his hand over it until it sparks enough to catch fire. It doesn’t take long for the whole hood to alight and soon the cabin.

Isobel reaches out for his hand and Michael lets her hold it for a moment, providing her the comfort she needs, but it’s not the comfort he needs. He looks back down the road where Alex is standing, arms wrapped around himself, sobbing. Michael looks over at Max, who tries to smile at him but fails. 

_ Go, I’ll get Iz home,  _ Max says, understanding that Michael can’t stay here any longer. 

Michael pulls his hand out of Isobel’s, who tries to call after him as he leaves, but Max stops her from flat out running after him, thankfully. Once he reaches Alex, they fall into each other’s arms, sobbing. 

LET’S GO, Michael signs once he pulls back. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO? 

HOME, Alex signs, surprisingly. But Michael doesn’t argue it. They walk back towards the truck in silence, each lost in their own trauma, trying to process the horrible events of the last 2 hours. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments & Kudos are love <3


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